so...
Dear people,
Right so you know a lot about me so far. Heres an update of my last 3 days...
I haven't spoke to Mart Ive told Sim i like him and have clocked up 188 text messeges off Simon and been at school for the last week doing drama psychology and history... in english we read a girls petrayll of her grandfather and i started thinking of my gran i wish i'd have met her...its strange to feel grief for someone you never knew i suppose its proberbly because of the way i lost her...i can't get over it... if she was still alive she'd be 99 years of age.
il tell you about my gran my gran as in my dads mothers my nans mother...when i was born she was 86 she'd had tinnitus...if you dont know what that is then its basicly a constant ringing in the ears... tinnitus is not a disease it is a symptom as a age-related hearing loss or an ear injury for my gran it was age-related the noise can vary in pitch from a low roar to a high squeel it may occur in one or both ears. i didn't know this at the time i was a baby i couldnt even talk... i never knew how my gran died til last month when me and lee broke up my mum thought i might have self harmed again i didnt but my mom was talking to me and she suddenly came out with "you realise you dad thinks its my fault when if either of our familys are mentaly unstable its your dads side" i asked what she was on about then she told me...my gran had killed herself...threw herself in the canal my dads and nans resoning is that the tinnitus had drove her mad my nan had waited for her mother outside asda where they usualy met my gran never turned up she walked down the house they lived next to each other but she wasnt there either a few hours later the police knocked on the door and said they'd found a body my grandad went to identify it it was her.... i was 4 months old ... im upset by the idea that she obviously killed herself even though id been born she had another granddaughter but she didnt want to live to see me grow up ... but i've since come to the conclusion that my nan is the strongest, bravest person ive ever met she lost her son to cancer her mother because of that and her husband but she smiles everyday and shes thankful for what shes got and she hasnt become a lesser person because of it and ive never told her because she's laugh and ask me why but shes my hero...always will be. xxx
yours
mk
Right so you know a lot about me so far. Heres an update of my last 3 days...
I haven't spoke to Mart Ive told Sim i like him and have clocked up 188 text messeges off Simon and been at school for the last week doing drama psychology and history... in english we read a girls petrayll of her grandfather and i started thinking of my gran i wish i'd have met her...its strange to feel grief for someone you never knew i suppose its proberbly because of the way i lost her...i can't get over it... if she was still alive she'd be 99 years of age.
il tell you about my gran my gran as in my dads mothers my nans mother...when i was born she was 86 she'd had tinnitus...if you dont know what that is then its basicly a constant ringing in the ears... tinnitus is not a disease it is a symptom as a age-related hearing loss or an ear injury for my gran it was age-related the noise can vary in pitch from a low roar to a high squeel it may occur in one or both ears. i didn't know this at the time i was a baby i couldnt even talk... i never knew how my gran died til last month when me and lee broke up my mum thought i might have self harmed again i didnt but my mom was talking to me and she suddenly came out with "you realise you dad thinks its my fault when if either of our familys are mentaly unstable its your dads side" i asked what she was on about then she told me...my gran had killed herself...threw herself in the canal my dads and nans resoning is that the tinnitus had drove her mad my nan had waited for her mother outside asda where they usualy met my gran never turned up she walked down the house they lived next to each other but she wasnt there either a few hours later the police knocked on the door and said they'd found a body my grandad went to identify it it was her.... i was 4 months old ... im upset by the idea that she obviously killed herself even though id been born she had another granddaughter but she didnt want to live to see me grow up ... but i've since come to the conclusion that my nan is the strongest, bravest person ive ever met she lost her son to cancer her mother because of that and her husband but she smiles everyday and shes thankful for what shes got and she hasnt become a lesser person because of it and ive never told her because she's laugh and ask me why but shes my hero...always will be. xxx
yours
mk