Missing Starts- Part Three
Writer's Name: marie_de_sade
Artist's Name: phaelsafe
Genres: Angsty, romance
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Angst, DP, incest, (temporary)mute!Dean, (temporary) mute!Castiel
Wordcount: ~18,000
Pairing: Wincestiel- Begins with Destiel
Summary: After months of searching Sam finally finds a way to bring Dean and Castiel back from Purgatory. His joyful reunion is cut short when he finds that Purgatory has changed the two, leaving them little more then animals.
Sam is eighty percent sure that all that stuff Castiel says about ‘brothers sharing’ is complete crap. He’s almost certain that Castiel only has sex with Sam so he can sleep in his bed. Sometimes, when Sam’s leaning over him, Castiel gets a look on his face likes he’s deciding if a night wrapped up in the soft blankets is worth the effort it would take to blow Sam. Castiel used to spend some nights with Dean and some with Sam but recently he only stays upstairs until Dean falls asleep then sneaks into Sam’s bed. It makes sense -- Dean’s forced him into this routine of lying motionless for several hours a night and then refuses to move off the hard floor. Still, Sam never would have thought sleeping with him should be a chore.
Castiel would probably stay in Sam’s bed all day if Sam let him, curled up in a soft mass of pillows and blankets. In fact, as long as Dean stays asleep, Castiel doesn’t bother getting out of bed at all. And Sam knows he’s kind of looking a gift horse in the mouth. He has Cas, he sort of has Dean, and he’s over-analyzing
“Hey, what are you doing?” Sam asks coming up behind Castiel and resting his chin on the angels shoulder.
Castiel’s hand pauses, the knife hovering above the half cut cucumber, and twists his head back to press a kiss to Sam’s cheek. “Dean needs to eat more vegetables.”
“Dean didn’t eat vegetables even when he was normal,” Sam chuckles. Castiel goes back to chopping up the cucumber and for a while Sam just watches him. It’s not until Castiel is done with the cucumber and has moved onto carrots that Sam wraps an arm around Castiel’s waist and pulls him closer. The angel hardly seems to notice, just finishes with the carrots and reaches over to grab a tomato. Sam’s not sure if Castiel’s obliviousness is because he likes having Sam close to him or because he just doesn’t realize what Sam is doing. Castiel’s steady chopping motion stutters when Sam slides his hand down past the elastic band of Castiel’s pants.
“Sam,” Castiel gasps out. He drops the knife and Sam hears Dean make a noise of protest over by the television.
“Sam, wait ‘til a commercial,” Dean grumbles somewhere behind them. Sam laughs against Cas’s neck, the angel whimpering when the hot breath warmed his skin. Apparently, the lure of Castiel isn’t strong enough to draw his brother away from eight hour marathon of Dr. Sexy.
“This is unsanitary,” Castiel says as his hands grip the counter top.
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid to get a little dirty.” Sam pushes the sliced up vegetables further down the counter and turns Castiel around. Sam lifts him up on the counter and wraps the angel’s legs around his waist. He’s still a little giddy that he gets to touch Castiel whenever he wants, that he doesn’t have to hide it from Dean or wait for Castiel to initiate.
Sam pulls back the edge of Castiel’s shirt and lick at his neck, a hand roaming down to grab his ass. Castiel shoves Sam away. The hunter stumbles back, an apology on the tip of his tongue but the angel just smiles and sinks down to his knees. He makes quick work of Sam’s jeans, reaches into the taller man’s boxers and pulls out his leaking cock.
“It’s almost done,” Dean whines. Castiel looks up at Sam, lips hovering at the tip of his cock, unsure if he’s supposed to wait or if it’s just the two of them this time.
“We’re not waiting for you.” Sam threads his fingers through Castiel’s hair and pushes him down. Castiel’s tongue flicks out, lapping up a drop of pre-come before sucking the head of Sam’s cock into his mouth. Castiel looks up at Sam as he slowly slides down his length. The brunette groans and tugs on Castiel’s raven locks.
“Not fair.” Dean hisses.
Castiel pulls off Sam with a wet pop and looks over at Dean. “You’re welcome to join us.”
“After.” Dean tells him stubbornly. Castiel rolls his eyes, grabs hold on Sam’s shirt and yanks him down onto his knees. The dark haired man pushes down his hospital pants enough to release his own straining cock. He takes them both in hand and flicks his thumb over Sam’s head. The sound of violins swell on the television and Dean’s suddenly with them, yanking Sam closer and growling into Castiel’s neck. “Show’s over.”
Dean pulls Castiel between them, sandwiching him with his back against Sam and his front against Dean. The oldest Winchester fists at the smaller man’s aching cock and Castiel’s head falls onto Sam’s shoulder.
Sam’s hand accidently brushes against his brother and he jerks away, expecting Dean to freak out, except Dean hardly seems to notice, too distracted with getting Castiel out of his pants. When Dean bends down to lick at Castiel’s nipples, Sam cautiously reaches out and runs shaky fingers through the other hunter’s short hair. Dean groans into Castiel’s chest, the man between them arching, his backside rubbing against Sam’s erection.
A wave of panic rushes over Sam. It’s all too much, too soon, and he’s taking advantage of the state Dean’s in to feed his own sick desires. He pulls away from the pair and they fall back from the sudden lack of support. Sam jumps to his feet and hastily shoves his cock back into his pants, taking a breath to steady himself before he turns back towards the two on the floor. They looked up at him with confusion etched on their brows.
“It’s okay, you two, uh, enjoy yourselves.” Sam wipes his hands against his jeans and forces a smiled. “I’m tired.”
“Tired?” Dean asks. He shares a look with Castiel and they untangle themselves so they can get up. “But…”
“You shouldn’t start something you don’t plan on finishing.”
“I know.” Sam steps back towards the stairs trying to look anywhere but the two near naked men in front of him. “But, you know, I already had you last night, Dean should get a turn.”
“Had me?” Castiel scoffs but Sam is already making a hasty exit towards his room.
“Get a turn?” Dean asks sounding equally as offended as Castiel at Sam vulgar phrasing. Sam locks the door behind him, even though he knows Castiel could easily just mojo into his room at will. Sam’s plan didn’t go nearly as well as he had thought.
***
Castiel goes back to not talking to Sam the next few days. Dean doesn’t seem to care much by nightfall, probably because it means more sex for him.
“I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.” Sam tells him at dinner. Castiel doesn’t reply, just stabs at the re-heated lasagna and glares at the younger Winchester. “Come on, Cas. You can’t stay mad at me forever.”
“You’re right,” Cas concedes, but Sam can tell by the harsh edge in his eyes that he doesn’t mean it. “I was thinking, for tonight, we can decide who gets to fuck me with a coin toss.”
“You swore.” Dean smirks and that just seems to infuriate the angel more. Castiel huffs, dumps the rest of his food on Dean’s plate and disappears in a flutter of wings. Dean just looks pleased that he gets to have an extra helping of lasagna, like he hadn’t already eaten half the tin the day before.
“I can’t believe you’re being so smug about all this.” Sam pushes his plate away, suddenly losing his appetite and Dean snatches it up and empties it onto his own.
“Not my fault this time,” Dean smiles, scraping the cheese off Sam’s plate.
“What?”
“You upset him.” Dean shoves a cheese noodle into his mouth. “Nice change.”
“Where do you think he went?”
Dean shrugs and continues to shovel food into his mouth. “Cooked food is so much better than raw meat.”
“Seriously?” Sam asks. “Your first full sentence and it’s about food?”
“Well,” Dean starts and wipes his mouth on his shirt “I didn’t piss off Cas, at least.”
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
There’s still no sign of Castiel when Sam goes to bed. Dean tells him not to worry about it, Castiel’s an angel and he can take care of himself but Sam still feels guilty about upsetting him. It difficult to fall asleep without Castiel lying beside him but after a few hours of tossing and turning, exhaustion wins in the end.
“Sam.” A foot nudges against Sam’s stomach, trying to force him out of his too short sleep.
“Castiel?” Sam asks groggily looking up at the angel that stood over him.
“I’m very angry at you,” Cas tells him, arms crossed over his chest as he kneels down next to Sam. “I’ve done a lot for the two of you and I don’t appreciate only being used for sex.”
“I didn’t mean it like that!” Sam says quickly, throwing the covers off and grabbing Castiel’s shoulders. “You know I didn’t mean it like that, right?”
Castiel gives him a long hard stare, Sam gets a little nervous with each second that passes. Sam takes Castiel face in his hand and tries again. “I love you, Cas.”
“That’s not going to magically fix everything,” Castiel tells him stonily. Sam nods and lets go of Cas. He looks down at the bed and starts to pull away before Castiel lays a hand on his knee. “It’s a start though.”
Castiel pulls him into a kiss, like their first one, soft and dry, short and sweet. Castiel murmurs into Sam’s lips “I love you too.”
Despite Castiel insisting he’s mad at Sam, he still pulls the taller man on top of him and runs his hands along his side. He still whispers declarations of love against his skin as Sam moves inside him. The whole moment would have been perfect except-
“Dean,” Castiel chokes out, making Sam pull away and look down at the panting angel.
“I’m not gonna pretend that didn’t hurt a little,” Sam drawls. He goes down to kiss Castiel again but the angel nudges on his shoulder and points behind them. “Shit!”
Dean’s standing less than a foot away from Sam and it nearly gives Sam a heart attack in surprise. Dean flinches at the loud curse that comes out of his brother’s mouth and takes a cautious step back. Sam reaches out and wraps a hand around Dean’s wrist and tries to tug him closer. “I’m sorry were we too loud?”
Dean shifts from foot to foot and looks away, eyebrows drawn in a mixture of nervousness and embarrassment. “No.”
“It’s okay, Dean.” Sam gently rubs his thumb against Dean’s wrist. “We’ll just go to sleep.”
Dean looks back over to the stairs and tries to pull his hand free from Sam. “I’ll go.”
“You can stay if you want,” Castiel says gently and tangles his fingers in Dean’s free hand. “There’s room.”
Dean still looks unsure but he lets the two pull him down onto the bed. Sam tries to keep himself covered as he moves to make room for Dean but Dean shakes his head and pushes him back towards Castiel. “I want to watch.”
The request catches Sam off guard and he looks down at Castiel. “Are you…okay with that?”
Castiel wraps his legs around Sam and flips them over. “I can’t see a problem with it.”
Castiel leans down to kiss Sam before he sinks back down on his still hard cock. They moan in unison as Castiel begins to roll his hips against Sam, taking him in deep. Dean comes up behind Castiel; Sam didn’t see him get undressed and tries not to stare, tries to keep his eyes focused on Castiel. Dean seems to have another idea though. He wraps his hands around Sam's thighs and yanks him closer.
“Oh God, are we- are we really doing this?” He doesn’t think Dean and he have ever been this close before; it’s always been accidental grazes and awkward looks as they took Castiel apart. But he’s never actually touched his brother like this, afraid he’d go too far, too fast and suddenly Dean would be a snarling mess again. Or even worse, that one day Dean would wake up, completely normal again and look at Sam with nothing but disgust. Except now Dean’s rubbing soft circles over his hip and Sam can feel the leaking tip of his dick push against his thigh.
Castiel is leaning over Sam, arms braced on either side of his head and looking over his shoulder at Dean, looking just as nervous as Sam. Even with a vocabulary less than that of an eight year old, Dean looks as cocky as ever. Having two sets of eyes glued on him, he smirks and takes charge. He grabs a handful of Castiel’s hair and yanks him back, forcing his hips down and making him take Sam deeper inside. Dean bites down on Castiel’s neck, sucking a mark on his pale skin and locking eyes with Sam, who just stupidly stares at them until Dean rakes his nails down his brother’s hip.
Sam grunts from the pain and grabs Castiel’s hips. He thrusts up and Cas bites his lip to keep from crying out. They move together, Castiel’s breath catches each time Sam brushes against his prostate and Dean just sits behind them and peppers kisses up and down Castiel’s back. Dean’s hand snakes around Castiel’s waist and pulls him back; the angel lets out a moan from the new angle and works his hips faster against Sam. Dean ruts against him and forces three of his fingers past the angel’s lips. Cas grabs Dean’s wrist and eagerly sucks, tongue swirling between each digit.
Sam’s pace nearly falters; Castiel is only encouraged to move faster. Dean pulls his fingers free with an obscene pop and his hands slips down to where Sam and Castiel are joined. A wet digit circles Castiel’s stretched hole before slowly pushing in.
“Dean?” Castiel gasps.
“I want to hear you,” Dean says, slipping another finger inside and making Castiel arch and cry out. “Louder.”
Castiel moans as Dean stretches him open, his hips buck trying to force the brothers in deeper. Sam can feel Dean’s fingers working alongside his cock, his eyes squeezed shut to try and stop himself form coming right then. Castiel bends down again, his arms shaking from the effort to try and keep him up. “Dean, please. I’m ready.”
Dean’s fingers slip out and soon the head of his cock is nudging against Castiel’s hole. Castiel nails dig into Sam’s chest when Dean starts to push in, not relaxing until both the brothers are fully sheathed inside him. Castiel lets out a shaky breath and Sam runs his hand up the angel’s chests. “You good?”
Castiel rolls his hips experimentally, Dean groaned at the movement and Castiel gave a tiny nod. Dean starts moving first, one hand braced on Castiel’s shoulders and the other one on his hip, lacing his fingers between Sam’s own. It’s a little awkward at first until they all fall into a pace that makes Castiel practically sob with sensation. Near the end, the angel’s practically screaming, voice rough and hoarse, just like Dean wanted. He fists at his cock, hand a blur of motion as nonsense spills out of mouth. He rocks against the brothers, begging until he finally comes, white ropes shooting across his and Sam’s chests.
Sam feels Castiel spasm around him and then he’s gone, spilling hot inside the angel while his brother continues to pump away. Dean doesn’t last much longer though; his pace grows erratic before he slams into Castiel one last time and lets out a deep moan.
Sam is exhausted. He feels Dean pull Castiel off him but doesn’t bother opening his eyes, ready to just fall asleep. When he feels two lips against his own, soft and plump, the opposite of Castiel’s, his eyes snap open to see his brother staring back. Dean gives him a lopsided grin before he moves over to Castiel, kissing the angel and collapsing down on him.
“Are you okay, Dean?” Sam asks running his fingers gently over his brother’s shoulders. Dean’s still a little out of breath but he manages to nod before he buries his head in Castiel’s neck. “Because if you want to talk about this, we can talk about it.”
Dean lifts his head just enough to throw Sam an annoyed look. “I’m good.”
“It’s just, if you think things went too far…”
Dean turns onto his side and lifts the blanket over his naked form. “Sam’s a girl.”
Dean grabs Castiel’s wrist and pulls him up against his back, Castiel wraps his arm over Dean’s waist and nuzzles the side of his face. “He’s a bit more emotional then you.”
A familiar nervous knot forms in Sam’s stomach as he looks at them
And then Dean reaches back and pulls Sam over.
****
Dean is passed out on top of Castiel. The angel seems to be sleeping as well and Sam just stares up at the ceiling, wide eyes and panicking on the inside. He just had sex with his brother. He just had sex with his brother. Kind of. He isn’t sure if it really counts. Except it totally counts. Once, in college, a drunken frat boy put an arm around Jessica and him and told Sam it’s not gay if it’s in a threeway, he wondered if a similar rule implies for incest.
“You’re thinking too loudly,” Castiel mumbles next to him. He manages to work one of his arms free from underneath Dean and reaches down to hold Sam’s hand.
“Sorry, I can’t sleep.” Sam says and squeezes Castiel’s hand. He lets out a shaky breath, “He’s going to freak out in the morning.”
“You Winchesters,” Castiel softly snorts, “why can’t you ever just let yourself enjoy something?”
“But-”
“Perhaps you don’t remember but I was involved in the sexual activities earlier.”
“You know, I love when you talk dirty like that.”
“And I distinctly remember Dean enjoying himself.” Castiel shifted uncomfortably. “In fact I am currently lying in the wet spot that proves it.”
“You’re not very good at pep talks,” Sam chuckles softly and rolls onto his side. Castiel gives him a small smile.
“Dean loves you.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” Castiel gently moves Dean onto his back and inches closer to Sam. The mattress is too small for the three of them, Dean halfway on the floor and Sam has to tangle his legs with Castiel’s and cling to him to keep on the bed. He takes Sam’s face in his hands and runs his thumb over his cheek. “Dean sold his soul for you.”
“But-”
“And I raised him from hell because those were my orders.” Castiel presses his forehead against Sam’s. “But I saved you just because I wanted to.”
Epilogue
Dean gets a little better every day. Bit by bit all his pieces fall back into place, he talks, sometimes (on very rare occasions) he’ll make dinner for the three of them, he cleans on the guns in the house and sharpens the knives. Sam has to teach him to drive again. Dean was less than thrilled that he had to listen to Sam, but then he nearly crashes into a tree his first time. Things are almost back to normal but there’s still one issue hanging heavy on Sam’s mind.
Dean mentions it sometimes, only when he doesn’t think Castiel will hear him, tries to smoothly bring up the subject of hunting again. He asks if Sam would ever want to go hunting again and when Sam says he’s happy right where he is, Dean gets very quiet. He complains the Impala is going to get rusty just sitting out in the yard and watches the news obsessively. He never talks about it with Castiel. Sam’s not really sure why but he doesn’t want to push the matter, either. He knows that Dean can’t live cooped up in one place forever, and he knows that Dean feels guilty every time he hears about someone dying on the news.
It's almost winter again, the weather getting a little colder every day and each morning comes with a light frost dusting the windows. Sam thinks back to last winter and how he never would have thought that this is we're he would have ended up. He leans against the counter and watches the steam that slowly begins to float out the kettles nozzle. Another pot of instant coffee that tastes like shit, but he doesn't think Dean actually remembers what decent coffee tastes like, and if he does he doesn't complain about the crap Sam gives him.
"Sammy!" Dean calls up from the basement. "Hurry up, or we'll start without you."
Sam rolls his eyes and grabs two relatively clean glasses and pours the instant coffee into them. The water still isn't boiled and he hears a surprised Dean ask Castiel, "What do you mean we're not having sex?"
He almost laughs when he hears Dean stomping up the stairs. Dean flings the door open and marches over to his brother. "I was promised sex."
"It’s too early for sex." The kettle whistles next to them, Sam grabs the handle and moves it off the burner and pours the hot water into the cups.
"It’s never too early for sex," Dean mumbles.
"Well," Sam yawns "you can do whatever you want but Cas and I going to drink coffee and cuddle."
"You are such a girl." Dean swipes one of the cups before Sam can pick it up. It doesn't really matter because Castiel doesn't drink much coffee so Sam never makes him a full cup, just lets him drink from Dean or his cup. Sam stirs his coffee and ignores his brother complaining behind him.
“So there’s nothing I can do to convince you?” Dean slips a hand under Sam’s shirt and nips at his neck.
“Nope,” Sam answers and pushes Dean away. “Cas needs a break.”
“Screw Cas, you and him already fooled around last night.” Dean follows Sam to their room like a whiny cat demanding to be fed.
“No, that was you.”
“And you promised me morning sex if I let you two go to sleep!”
“Just give us an hour, it’s not like we’re going anywhere.” Sam sets his cup down beside the bed and kisses Castiel cheek. “Hey baby.”
“I thought angels weren’t supposed to lie,” Dean complains and hands Castiel his coffee cup.
“I thought humans were supposed to sleep,” Castiel rolls his eyes and takes a sip.
“You two are such buzz kills.” Dean forces himself in between Sam and Castiel. Dean grins and waits for Sam to put his coffee down before he pulls him down into a kiss. He tries to yank Sam down on top of him but Sam slings an arm over his waist and keeps them up right. “Can’t you tell I just missed my baby brother?”
“Mm, can’t say I miss you trying to stab me,” Sam chuckles but by the grimace of Dean’s face he can tell he doesn’t find it very funny.
“Oh, don’t mind me,” Castiel drawls. “I am simply enjoying the view.”
Dean actually did manage to force Sam down onto the bed but despite his persistence Sam doesn’t let it go past kissing. Eventually he nudges at Dean’s shoulders until his brother reluctantly moves off him. Sam picks up his coffee and clinks mugs with Castiel who doesn’t seem to fully understand the gesture. Castiel takes a few more sips of coffee before handing the mug to Dean who nods in thanks and rests the hot cup on his stomach.
“So uh,” Dean pauses, fingers nervously tapping on his coffee mug, “a bunch of hikers disappeared over in Minnesota last week.”
Dean doesn’t look at either of them; his eyes dart around nervously while he waits for one of them to answer. Castiel lays his head on Dean’s chest and curls his body around him. “Hikers disappear all the time.”
“It might not be our kind of thing,” Sam agrees
“It’s totally our thing,” Dean says quietly. “If we left now we could be there by nightfall.”
“No,” Sam says and Dean looks away, doesn’t argue even though Sam knows how much he wants to, “sex first, then hunting.”