Repost Fic: Never Again (Sam/girl!Dean)- An Unexpected Twist 'Verse
Title: Never Again (In the 'An Unexpected Twist' 'Verse) 1/1
Rating: M+
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Spoilers: AU from 'The Unexpected Twist'; a general timeline of Supernatural
Warnings: GENDERSWAP; GIRL!DEAN; winchester love
Category: slash; romance/angst
Beta: batina35
Disclaimers: I do not own the characters of Supernatural
Summary: This is the first story in the verse. In the series 'An Unexpected Twist', Dean is cursed by a Vengeance Demon and becomes a woman. After being attacked, Dean endures a long recovery process with the help of Sam and John. Sam and Dean's relationship is changed forever. At the end of the series, the spell is reversed and Dean returns to his former self.
In this 'verse, what if the spell is not reversed? I do refer to Dean as a 'she' in this fic.
The fic will make more sense if you read the series first: 'An Unexpected Twist' Marie's Memories
'Never Again' (1/1)
Sam observed Dean from the porch at the lake house in Michigan. He was pleased that they were able to stay here indefinitely. Their father's friend had been generous to the Winchesters with his home.
Dean stood near the woods in the distance. She had placed a target on a tree and was throwing knives. Her aim was improving immensely. Adjusting to her new height and the shifting of her center of balance, meant Dean needed to start from scratch with her training. She worked tirelessly everyday for the last two months on adapting her skills.
'Two months', Sam thought to himself as he watched her. Two months since they had confronted the Vengeance Demon that cursed Dean. John had summoned the demon Anyanka and they confined her in a Devil's Trap. Sam remembered the cruel taunting that she spewed at Dean. They knew her power was contained within the amulet around her neck, and they were able to remove it. Anyanka laughed and informed them the only way to reverse the spell was if someone else got cursed in Dean's place. She promised that Dean would not return to his previous form if they destroyed her or the amulet.
Sam closed his eyes briefly and shook his head at the memory. When they shattered the amulet, the demon burned up in a magnificent blaze of light. When the smoke cleared, the look on Dean's delicate face will stay with him until the day he dies. Dean fell to her knees, a look of utter shock on her still female face.
Sam sighed. Frankly, the Winchesters had thought the demon was manipulating the truth. But, as they stared at the remnants of the demon: black ashes within the Devil's Trap, they were all at a loss for words.
John remained for another few weeks as he and Sam fruitlessly searched for alternatives. They came up empty handed each time. Finally, John decided to return to the hunt for the Demon that altered their lives twenty three years ago. With promises of joining up when Dean was healthier, he hit the road.
As for Dean, she simply became more quiet with each passing day. She placed all her energy in building up her strength on her petite 5 ft 2 frame and she continued to see the local counselor to discuss her attack.
Dean was cordial, but seemed to purposefully withdraw from Sam's touch. They had made such inroads in their relationship, but since the confrontation with the demon, Dean had chosen to stay in separate rooms. Sam tried to make her talk about what was bothering her, but Dean found any excuse to avoid sharing. After a while, Sam stopped asking and tried to accept it.
*
Sam sat on the couch in the den watching television one evening. Dean walked in and called her brother's name. When she did not receive a response, she grabbed the remote and shut it off.
“What did you do that for?” Sam asked in an annoyed tone.
“I called your name three times, Sam.” She placed her hands on her hips. “And you can't tell me reruns of 'Law and Order' are that freaking good.” She said as she rolled her strikingly green eyes.
“Fine.” Sam huffed as he turned his attention to her. “Proceed.” He waved his hand at her.
“Whatever, Counselor.” She said sarcastically. “I need the car keys.” She held her hand out towards her brother.
Sam stood immediately. “Why?”
Dean brushed a long strand of bone straight blond hair out of her eye. “What do you mean why?” She scowled. “Because I need to go to the store.”
“Then I'll come along.” Sam said as he started looking around for his wallet.
“I don't need you to go with me.” Dean's voice tightened.
“Dean...” Sam stared intently at her.
“I am perfectly capable of going to the store in MY car,
Sam.”
The younger Winchester felt his heart race. “But...you haven't gone out alone since...” His mind flashed back to the night so many months ago when they fought in the motel room in a small California town. That was the night Dean drove off and their lives forever changed.
“Sam,” Dean warned with stern, stubborn eyes, “Give. Me. The. Keys.”
“Dean, please.” Sam's voice choked as he pulled the keys from his pocket.
Dean saw the fear and despair on Sam's face. She knew what he worried about, but Dean just needed to do this alone. It was time to break through her shell and be more independent. She pushed away her feelings of guilt at causing Sam pain and grabbed the keys from his slightly shaking hand and walked towards the door. She stopped before exiting and said quietly, “I have my cell. I'll be back in twenty minutes.”
*
Sam sat staring at the door, glancing at his watch every few minutes. He clutched his cell in his hand, ready to dial if needed. When he heard the familiar roar of the Impala pulling up, he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He felt his eyes tear in relief. He stood from the chair in the kitchen, returned to the den, and flipped the TV back on.
She did not say anything to him as she passed the den. He heard the rustle of plastic bags and her light footsteps ascend the staircase. After a few minutes, the bathroom door slammed shut. Sam tried to concentrate on the television show, but it was difficult. After some time, he decided to go talk to Dean.
*
Sam knocked on the bathroom door lightly. “Dean?” He waited for a response. “Dean, please open the door.” He pleaded. He took a chance and turned the knob and was surprised that it was unlocked. As he entered, he saw Dean sitting on the tile by the tub; her knees drawn up, causing her to look impossibly small. At her feet, numerous packages of sanitary napkins and tampons were scattered haphazardly. Sam said nothing as he sat across from her. The space was small, forcing Sam to sit Indian style. As he watched her bowed head, he could see a myriad of emotions flickering across her angelic face.
“I'm a girl, Sam.” Her smooth, high pitched voice pierced the quiet. She paused and took a deep breath. “After my attack...” she closed her eyes briefly, “everything was so painful...so confusing.” She shook her head. “But since my head's cleared, I think about my change a lot. You know?” She looked at her brother. “Lately, I feel so different.”
Sam finally spoke. His voice filled with concern. “How?”
“I...I...” Dean stuttered on her words as she rubbed her face roughly. “God, this is so fucked up.” She said forcefully as she stood up and walked the short distance to her bedroom. She waited for Sam to follow as she sat down heavily on the edge of her bed. She knew in her heart, that she had to open up to Sam. Her silence was hurting them. She had been so quiet the last few weeks as an internal battle raged within her. Anger, fear, and uncertainty consumed her. It was so hard to communicate this to her brother, but she had to try.
Sam stood near the door. “Dean, please talk to me.”
“Lately,” she began, “I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not me, but I am me.” She shrugged her shoulders as she chuckled bitterly. “Does that even make any sense?”
Sam sat down next to her. “Yeah.”
“And now this happened.” She added quietly.
Sam arched his eyebrows in confusion. “What happened?”
Dean's face flushed with embarrassment. “You know...” She said slowly as she gestured with her hand.
“No, I don't.” He continued.
“Jesus, college boy!” Dean said in an exasperated tone. “I got my period!”
“Oh, that!” Sam said sheepishly. “Sorry!”
“And you're supposed to be the smart one?” Dean smirked for a moment, the hint of sarcasm evident in her voice. Her mood turned somber again, as she slowly rose and walked towards the window. She kept her back to her brother. “It's been six months since I was cursed, Sam.”
“I know.”
“I'm not turning back...am I?” She turned around and Sam's heart nearly broke at the despair reflected in her gorgeous green eyes. They were quietly begging her brother for answers, for reassurance; but, most of all, for the truth.
Sam hesitated. “I...I don't know.”
“Sammy...” Her voice choked.
“I don't think so.” Sam answered quietly as he watched his sister's reaction flicker across her delicate face. “But, I'm still trying to find other ways, Dean.”
She shook her head, “No, Sam.” She walked back to her brother. “I have to accept this. You don't need to waste your time anymore.”
“It's not a waste of time, Dean. You're worth it.”
Dean chuckled lightly. “That's sweet...sappy, but sweet.” The smile fell from her face as she went back to the window. There was a sudden chill in the room and she wrapped her arms around her thin frame. “Sam, you should go find Dad. The two of you can hunt The Demon and finish it. You can get that son of a bitch that killed Mom and Jess.”
Sam's mouth fell open for a moment. Anger and frustration built within him as he stalked over to her. “And what? You're just going to give up?!”
“Damn it, Sam! How can I hunt like this?!” She yelled back as she gestured to her petite, female body.
“We just have to make a few adjustments, Dean!”
“A few adjustments? Are you fucking kidding me? I barely weigh 110 pounds, Sam! How can I fight? I'm useless!” Her eyes began to shine as she turned away.
Sam let out a deep breath as he stood. “So that's it, huh?” He shook his head as he pursed his lips. “The Dean I know would never give up.”
“I'M NOT HIM ANYMORE!!!” Dean screamed as the tears poured from her eyes. She covered her face as the emotions overwhelmed her. She did not even fight when Sam grabbed her and embraced her. Sam teared as they held each other tightly, as if the other would slip away if they let go. They stood there for an eternity, each mourning the loss of what Dean Winchester was and would never be again.
As they stepped apart, Sam led them to the bed and they sat down. He grabbed one of her small hands as Dean wiped her tears with the other.
“What are we going to do, Sammy?” She asked quietly, her voice heavy with emotion.
“We'll continue to train you and take each job carefully.” He said in a strong tone. Right now, Dean needed to know that Sam believed every word he said.
Innocence and fear shined in her eyes. “I'll just get us killed.” She whispered.
“No, you won't.” He reassured her as he stroked her cheek. “You can do anything you put your mind to.” Her eyes fluttered closed at his gentle touch. “God, Dean...” Sam whispered as he brought her tiny hands up to his lips and kissed them lightly. “I've been wanting to touch you so badly.”
“I'm sorry.” She said as she lowered her head.
“For what?” Sam asked as he gently lifted her chin.
“I've pushed you away.”
Sam nodded his head. “Is it because of your attack?”
She paused. “Kind of. But...”
“I wasn't making you uncomfortable, was I?”
“No.” She could barely look at her brother.
“What else, then?” He prodded gently.
Dean bit her lip slightly. “It's stupid.” She responded quietly.
“Dean...”
She hesitated but eventually spoke. “Every time you hold me...” She trailed off.
“It's okay.” Sam encouraged her.
“When you hold me...it feels so right...” her voice choked, “like I belong there. In those moments, I didn't care if I turned back or not and that freaked me out.” Sam nodded in understanding. “How am I supposed to act, Sammy?”
“Whatever feels right, Dean. That's all you can do. We'll figure the rest out as it comes, okay?” He smiled as he leaned in, their foreheads touching. He dipped his head lower and captured her warm, lush lips in a chaste kiss. When they fell apart, Dean smiled at him, but a few moments later, grimaced.
“What's wrong?”
“My stomach hurts.” She responded as she clutched her abdomen. “This fucking sucks, by the way. No wonder chicks act so bitchy with their periods. It hurts like a mother!” She whined.
“Well, that explains your mood the last few days.” Sam said playfully and ducked when Dean tried to slap his head. After he stopped laughing he asked, “Did you take anything?” She shook her head. Sam stood from the bed. “Come on.” He ordered as he held out his hand.
“Where are we going?”
“Downstairs.” He responded when they reached the door.
“Why?”
“Do you have to ask so many questions? Jeez, Dean!”
“Fine.” She pouted as they walked down the creaky staircase into the den.
“Sit.” Sam gestured to the couch.
“What am I, a dog?” She quirked her naturally sculpted eyebrows.
“No, you're a bitch.” Sam answered with a smirk.
Dean huffed and pretended to be insulted. “That's not very nice, Sammy.” She tried to hide her smile.
He kissed her on the forehead as he handed the remote to her. “I'll be right back.” He said as he walked from the room.
“Fine.” Dean mumbled as she plopped down on the couch and started flipping channels.
*
After fifteen minutes, Sam returned. He handed Dean a glass and three pills.
“What are these?” She asked before slipping them in her mouth.
“Ibuprofen.”
“Oh.” She proceeded to swallow the pills with some water.
Sam propped her up for a moment, and slipped behind her on the couch. She now laid in between his legs and her back against his broad, warm chest. He reached over to the end table and grabbed a hot water bottle. “Put this on your belly.” He gently lifted her fitted cotton tee and placed the warm object on her perfectly toned, tan abdomen.
Dean groaned in relief as the heat from the bottle and from Sam penetrated her aching body. She closed her eyes, sighed, and snuggled into her brother. “Thanks, Sammy.”
“You good?” Sam asked with a smile on his face.
“More than good.” She sighed. “How did you know about this stuff?”
“Jess.” He answered quietly. “She had bad cramps almost every month. Just wait 'til the pills kick in.”
Sam felt Dean squeeze his hand. He leaned up and kissed the top of her head. “I love you.” He whispered in her ear.
“I know.” She answered with a smile. “I love you too.”
*
3 MONTHS LATER
Dean stood in front of the mirror of the bathroom. She tightened the strap of the short, white terry cloth robe that she had bought recently. As she brushed her freshly washed locks, she took a deep breath and felt a nervous flutter in her heart. “Calm down, Dean.” She mumbled as she put some lotion on her face. She looked down at a perfume bottle and picked it up with shaky hands. 'It's just like cologne or aftershave' she thought to herself. She tried to remember how the saleswoman at the store demonstrated how to put on the scent. She uncapped the bottle and placed a small amount behind each ear. “I hope that's a dab...whatever the fuck a dab is.” She muttered. She put a little more on her neck and on her belly. She grabbed some clear lip gloss and placed a small amount on. She liked the sheen on her lips. She placed her hands on the counter and leaned over slightly. “Deep breath, Dean.” She sighed as she willed her legs to work; they felt like puddy.
She exited the bathroom and headed to their bedroom. She smiled as she saw a freshly showered Sam sitting on the bed in his t-shirt and boxer's. His wet hair hung in loose strands around his face. He was captivated with papers in his hands. It was research on a disturbance in Ohio. They were to leave Michigan in the next few days to investigate.
“Hi.” Dean said softly, announcing her presence. Sam startled when he heard her voice. As he gazed at his sister, he was amazed by her beauty. It took him a moment to find his voice.
“Hey.” He smiled warmly. “Ready for bed?” He asked as
he placed the papers on the nightstand.
“Not yet.” She answered as she walked over to her brother and stood between his legs. She gently grasped his face and leaned in and captured his soft, moist lips in a kiss. When they pulled back, they panted from the intensity of the kiss.
“Dean?” Sam asked quietly as he noticed a lustful sparkle in her eyes.
Dean slowly untied her robe and it fell gently to the floor. Sam gasped at the beauty of her nude body. He snaked his arms around her waist and brought her closer to him. He began laying small kisses on her chest and licked one of her hardened nipples.
“Sammy...” Dean whispered as he stood up with her in his arms. He turned towards the bed and gently placed her down. Her cheeks were flush as she stared at her brother. Sam removed his t-shirt to reveal his beautifully sculpted chest. He slipped out of his boxers and slowly climbed onto the bed. He captured her luscious lips again as their kisses became more feverish in intensity. He licked her neck as he caressed her perfect breasts.
“You smell so good...” Sam mumbled against her throat.
Dean arched towards his calloused hands, the sensation almost too much. Sam moaned as his rock hard erection rubbed against her leg as his hands touched her skin. His hand wandered down and he slipped a finger into her wet heat.
“Sam...” Dean groaned as he massaged her clitoris; he went slowly at first, steadily building as he felt Dean writhing. “Sammy...” Was all she could say as she closed her eyes and let the feelings overtake her. “I-I'm...” She stuttered as she felt shocks go through her.
“Come for me baby...” Sam urged and suddenly Dean stilled and then shook as her orgasm ripped through her.
As Dean recovered, she opened her eyes and stared at her brother. She leaned up and grabbed his face and pulled him down to her. She kissed him gently and whispered, “Sammy?”
“Yeah?” He answered gently as he moved to lay beside her.
“I'm ready.” Sam paused for a moment.
“Are you sure?”
Dean nodded. “Yes. Please...I want to feel you. I need you.”
Sam smiled as he leaned over to the nightstand and grabbed a condom and some lube. He knew she was still wet; but, after all she had gone through, he wanted to be as gentle as possible. He lay on his back so he could place the condom on, his penis twitched and his heart sped up in anticipation of entering Dean. He was generous with the lubricant and then placed it back on the table. Dean let her legs fall open as she felt Sam climb on top of her. Before he guided himself in, their eyes met. No words were needed to convey their feelings. Sam slowly pushed in, trying to minimize her discomfort. He nearly came from her tightness enveloping him. As he was halfway in, he heard her gasp and felt a subtle shift as her body tensed slightly.
“Dean.” Sam said gently. “Look at me, baby.” Dean's eyes fluttered open. “That's it. It's Sammy.” She started to relax as he pushed in further. “I'll never hurt you..no one will ever hurt you...”
“Sammy...” Dean moaned in pleasure as she relaxed and concentrated on the fullness within her.
“You're so fucking beautiful...” Sam began to move his hips. “So perfect...” The two began to move in synchrony as Dean grasped his shoulders, trying to bring herself closer to him. “All mine, baby...” Sam gasped as he felt her walls clenching around him. Dean screamed as her orgasm ripped through her. Sam followed closely after her; the most intense release of his life. He collapsed on top of her, but quickly moved to the side when he felt her tiny hand pushing at his chest. He forced himself to get up from bed and dispose of the condom. He nearly couldn't walk, his body felt so relaxed. As he returned to bed, he gathered Dean in his arms.
“That was incredible.” Dean whispered as she lay against his chest.
“Yeah.” Sam said lazily as he felt sleep beckoning. He allowed his eyes to flutter closed.
“I love you, Sammy.” Dean said as she yawned, unable to fight the yearning to fall asleep in post coital bliss. As she drifted, she mumbled, “You're the best boyfriend...” She trailed off.
Sam's eyes opened. “Did you just call me your boyfriend?” Dean could feel Sam's self satisfied grin against her head.
“Shut up, Sam.” Dean answered without opening her eyes. “Don't ruin the moment.” She added sarcastically as she returned to sleep.
Sam kissed her head and joined his sister in the land of slumber with a wonderful smile upon his face.
*
A few days later, Dean leaned into the front window of the Impala and honked the horn. “Any day now, Sam!” She shouted as she made her way back to the trunk. She made sure everything was in place and shut it. She looked at her watch. “I'd like to leave sometime this century!”
“I'm coming!” Sam shouted from the kitchen. He finished the last check around the house to see if they left anything. When he was satisfied, he stepped outside. He paused when he saw Dean standing by her car. She looked like an angel illuminated by the soft morning light. He felt such love in is heart for Dean and was eternally grateful for her.
As he walked towards the car, he heard Dean grumble, “It's about time.” Sam smiled when he saw Dean run her hand along the top of the car.
“Glad you could join us, Sammy.” She smirked as he made his way to the passenger side.
“Did I interrupt anything?” Sam rolled his eyes.
“Just reacquainting myself with her.” She replied as she patted the hood. “Isn't that right, baby?”
“Please.” Sam responded. “The way you talk to that car...”
“What are you jealous or something?” She chuckled.
“Of course not.” Sam added as he entered the car. “She just better remember who's number one.” He said as he pointed to himself. He laughed when he saw her smile.
Dean sat in the driver's seat and adjusted herself to a comfortable position. She paused right before she slipped the key into the ignition.
“Hey.” Sam said softly. Dean turned towards him. He leaned over and kissed her.
Dean quirked her eyebrow. “What was that for?” She smiled warmly.
“Everything will be fine. You're ready.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “We're ready.” He nodded strongly and let her hand slip away.
Dean took a deep breath. “You bet your ass we're ready.” She turned the key and the Impala roared to life. As she put it in drive, she said, “Let's get back to work.”
Fin
Continue to Part 1 of The Road Home
Rating: M+
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Spoilers: AU from 'The Unexpected Twist'; a general timeline of Supernatural
Warnings: GENDERSWAP; GIRL!DEAN; winchester love
Category: slash; romance/angst
Beta: batina35
Disclaimers: I do not own the characters of Supernatural
Summary: This is the first story in the verse. In the series 'An Unexpected Twist', Dean is cursed by a Vengeance Demon and becomes a woman. After being attacked, Dean endures a long recovery process with the help of Sam and John. Sam and Dean's relationship is changed forever. At the end of the series, the spell is reversed and Dean returns to his former self.
In this 'verse, what if the spell is not reversed? I do refer to Dean as a 'she' in this fic.
The fic will make more sense if you read the series first: 'An Unexpected Twist' Marie's Memories
'Never Again' (1/1)
Sam observed Dean from the porch at the lake house in Michigan. He was pleased that they were able to stay here indefinitely. Their father's friend had been generous to the Winchesters with his home.
Dean stood near the woods in the distance. She had placed a target on a tree and was throwing knives. Her aim was improving immensely. Adjusting to her new height and the shifting of her center of balance, meant Dean needed to start from scratch with her training. She worked tirelessly everyday for the last two months on adapting her skills.
'Two months', Sam thought to himself as he watched her. Two months since they had confronted the Vengeance Demon that cursed Dean. John had summoned the demon Anyanka and they confined her in a Devil's Trap. Sam remembered the cruel taunting that she spewed at Dean. They knew her power was contained within the amulet around her neck, and they were able to remove it. Anyanka laughed and informed them the only way to reverse the spell was if someone else got cursed in Dean's place. She promised that Dean would not return to his previous form if they destroyed her or the amulet.
Sam closed his eyes briefly and shook his head at the memory. When they shattered the amulet, the demon burned up in a magnificent blaze of light. When the smoke cleared, the look on Dean's delicate face will stay with him until the day he dies. Dean fell to her knees, a look of utter shock on her still female face.
Sam sighed. Frankly, the Winchesters had thought the demon was manipulating the truth. But, as they stared at the remnants of the demon: black ashes within the Devil's Trap, they were all at a loss for words.
John remained for another few weeks as he and Sam fruitlessly searched for alternatives. They came up empty handed each time. Finally, John decided to return to the hunt for the Demon that altered their lives twenty three years ago. With promises of joining up when Dean was healthier, he hit the road.
As for Dean, she simply became more quiet with each passing day. She placed all her energy in building up her strength on her petite 5 ft 2 frame and she continued to see the local counselor to discuss her attack.
Dean was cordial, but seemed to purposefully withdraw from Sam's touch. They had made such inroads in their relationship, but since the confrontation with the demon, Dean had chosen to stay in separate rooms. Sam tried to make her talk about what was bothering her, but Dean found any excuse to avoid sharing. After a while, Sam stopped asking and tried to accept it.
*
Sam sat on the couch in the den watching television one evening. Dean walked in and called her brother's name. When she did not receive a response, she grabbed the remote and shut it off.
“What did you do that for?” Sam asked in an annoyed tone.
“I called your name three times, Sam.” She placed her hands on her hips. “And you can't tell me reruns of 'Law and Order' are that freaking good.” She said as she rolled her strikingly green eyes.
“Fine.” Sam huffed as he turned his attention to her. “Proceed.” He waved his hand at her.
“Whatever, Counselor.” She said sarcastically. “I need the car keys.” She held her hand out towards her brother.
Sam stood immediately. “Why?”
Dean brushed a long strand of bone straight blond hair out of her eye. “What do you mean why?” She scowled. “Because I need to go to the store.”
“Then I'll come along.” Sam said as he started looking around for his wallet.
“I don't need you to go with me.” Dean's voice tightened.
“Dean...” Sam stared intently at her.
“I am perfectly capable of going to the store in MY car,
Sam.”
The younger Winchester felt his heart race. “But...you haven't gone out alone since...” His mind flashed back to the night so many months ago when they fought in the motel room in a small California town. That was the night Dean drove off and their lives forever changed.
“Sam,” Dean warned with stern, stubborn eyes, “Give. Me. The. Keys.”
“Dean, please.” Sam's voice choked as he pulled the keys from his pocket.
Dean saw the fear and despair on Sam's face. She knew what he worried about, but Dean just needed to do this alone. It was time to break through her shell and be more independent. She pushed away her feelings of guilt at causing Sam pain and grabbed the keys from his slightly shaking hand and walked towards the door. She stopped before exiting and said quietly, “I have my cell. I'll be back in twenty minutes.”
*
Sam sat staring at the door, glancing at his watch every few minutes. He clutched his cell in his hand, ready to dial if needed. When he heard the familiar roar of the Impala pulling up, he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He felt his eyes tear in relief. He stood from the chair in the kitchen, returned to the den, and flipped the TV back on.
She did not say anything to him as she passed the den. He heard the rustle of plastic bags and her light footsteps ascend the staircase. After a few minutes, the bathroom door slammed shut. Sam tried to concentrate on the television show, but it was difficult. After some time, he decided to go talk to Dean.
*
Sam knocked on the bathroom door lightly. “Dean?” He waited for a response. “Dean, please open the door.” He pleaded. He took a chance and turned the knob and was surprised that it was unlocked. As he entered, he saw Dean sitting on the tile by the tub; her knees drawn up, causing her to look impossibly small. At her feet, numerous packages of sanitary napkins and tampons were scattered haphazardly. Sam said nothing as he sat across from her. The space was small, forcing Sam to sit Indian style. As he watched her bowed head, he could see a myriad of emotions flickering across her angelic face.
“I'm a girl, Sam.” Her smooth, high pitched voice pierced the quiet. She paused and took a deep breath. “After my attack...” she closed her eyes briefly, “everything was so painful...so confusing.” She shook her head. “But since my head's cleared, I think about my change a lot. You know?” She looked at her brother. “Lately, I feel so different.”
Sam finally spoke. His voice filled with concern. “How?”
“I...I...” Dean stuttered on her words as she rubbed her face roughly. “God, this is so fucked up.” She said forcefully as she stood up and walked the short distance to her bedroom. She waited for Sam to follow as she sat down heavily on the edge of her bed. She knew in her heart, that she had to open up to Sam. Her silence was hurting them. She had been so quiet the last few weeks as an internal battle raged within her. Anger, fear, and uncertainty consumed her. It was so hard to communicate this to her brother, but she had to try.
Sam stood near the door. “Dean, please talk to me.”
“Lately,” she began, “I don't know who I am anymore. I'm not me, but I am me.” She shrugged her shoulders as she chuckled bitterly. “Does that even make any sense?”
Sam sat down next to her. “Yeah.”
“And now this happened.” She added quietly.
Sam arched his eyebrows in confusion. “What happened?”
Dean's face flushed with embarrassment. “You know...” She said slowly as she gestured with her hand.
“No, I don't.” He continued.
“Jesus, college boy!” Dean said in an exasperated tone. “I got my period!”
“Oh, that!” Sam said sheepishly. “Sorry!”
“And you're supposed to be the smart one?” Dean smirked for a moment, the hint of sarcasm evident in her voice. Her mood turned somber again, as she slowly rose and walked towards the window. She kept her back to her brother. “It's been six months since I was cursed, Sam.”
“I know.”
“I'm not turning back...am I?” She turned around and Sam's heart nearly broke at the despair reflected in her gorgeous green eyes. They were quietly begging her brother for answers, for reassurance; but, most of all, for the truth.
Sam hesitated. “I...I don't know.”
“Sammy...” Her voice choked.
“I don't think so.” Sam answered quietly as he watched his sister's reaction flicker across her delicate face. “But, I'm still trying to find other ways, Dean.”
She shook her head, “No, Sam.” She walked back to her brother. “I have to accept this. You don't need to waste your time anymore.”
“It's not a waste of time, Dean. You're worth it.”
Dean chuckled lightly. “That's sweet...sappy, but sweet.” The smile fell from her face as she went back to the window. There was a sudden chill in the room and she wrapped her arms around her thin frame. “Sam, you should go find Dad. The two of you can hunt The Demon and finish it. You can get that son of a bitch that killed Mom and Jess.”
Sam's mouth fell open for a moment. Anger and frustration built within him as he stalked over to her. “And what? You're just going to give up?!”
“Damn it, Sam! How can I hunt like this?!” She yelled back as she gestured to her petite, female body.
“We just have to make a few adjustments, Dean!”
“A few adjustments? Are you fucking kidding me? I barely weigh 110 pounds, Sam! How can I fight? I'm useless!” Her eyes began to shine as she turned away.
Sam let out a deep breath as he stood. “So that's it, huh?” He shook his head as he pursed his lips. “The Dean I know would never give up.”
“I'M NOT HIM ANYMORE!!!” Dean screamed as the tears poured from her eyes. She covered her face as the emotions overwhelmed her. She did not even fight when Sam grabbed her and embraced her. Sam teared as they held each other tightly, as if the other would slip away if they let go. They stood there for an eternity, each mourning the loss of what Dean Winchester was and would never be again.
As they stepped apart, Sam led them to the bed and they sat down. He grabbed one of her small hands as Dean wiped her tears with the other.
“What are we going to do, Sammy?” She asked quietly, her voice heavy with emotion.
“We'll continue to train you and take each job carefully.” He said in a strong tone. Right now, Dean needed to know that Sam believed every word he said.
Innocence and fear shined in her eyes. “I'll just get us killed.” She whispered.
“No, you won't.” He reassured her as he stroked her cheek. “You can do anything you put your mind to.” Her eyes fluttered closed at his gentle touch. “God, Dean...” Sam whispered as he brought her tiny hands up to his lips and kissed them lightly. “I've been wanting to touch you so badly.”
“I'm sorry.” She said as she lowered her head.
“For what?” Sam asked as he gently lifted her chin.
“I've pushed you away.”
Sam nodded his head. “Is it because of your attack?”
She paused. “Kind of. But...”
“I wasn't making you uncomfortable, was I?”
“No.” She could barely look at her brother.
“What else, then?” He prodded gently.
Dean bit her lip slightly. “It's stupid.” She responded quietly.
“Dean...”
She hesitated but eventually spoke. “Every time you hold me...” She trailed off.
“It's okay.” Sam encouraged her.
“When you hold me...it feels so right...” her voice choked, “like I belong there. In those moments, I didn't care if I turned back or not and that freaked me out.” Sam nodded in understanding. “How am I supposed to act, Sammy?”
“Whatever feels right, Dean. That's all you can do. We'll figure the rest out as it comes, okay?” He smiled as he leaned in, their foreheads touching. He dipped his head lower and captured her warm, lush lips in a chaste kiss. When they fell apart, Dean smiled at him, but a few moments later, grimaced.
“What's wrong?”
“My stomach hurts.” She responded as she clutched her abdomen. “This fucking sucks, by the way. No wonder chicks act so bitchy with their periods. It hurts like a mother!” She whined.
“Well, that explains your mood the last few days.” Sam said playfully and ducked when Dean tried to slap his head. After he stopped laughing he asked, “Did you take anything?” She shook her head. Sam stood from the bed. “Come on.” He ordered as he held out his hand.
“Where are we going?”
“Downstairs.” He responded when they reached the door.
“Why?”
“Do you have to ask so many questions? Jeez, Dean!”
“Fine.” She pouted as they walked down the creaky staircase into the den.
“Sit.” Sam gestured to the couch.
“What am I, a dog?” She quirked her naturally sculpted eyebrows.
“No, you're a bitch.” Sam answered with a smirk.
Dean huffed and pretended to be insulted. “That's not very nice, Sammy.” She tried to hide her smile.
He kissed her on the forehead as he handed the remote to her. “I'll be right back.” He said as he walked from the room.
“Fine.” Dean mumbled as she plopped down on the couch and started flipping channels.
*
After fifteen minutes, Sam returned. He handed Dean a glass and three pills.
“What are these?” She asked before slipping them in her mouth.
“Ibuprofen.”
“Oh.” She proceeded to swallow the pills with some water.
Sam propped her up for a moment, and slipped behind her on the couch. She now laid in between his legs and her back against his broad, warm chest. He reached over to the end table and grabbed a hot water bottle. “Put this on your belly.” He gently lifted her fitted cotton tee and placed the warm object on her perfectly toned, tan abdomen.
Dean groaned in relief as the heat from the bottle and from Sam penetrated her aching body. She closed her eyes, sighed, and snuggled into her brother. “Thanks, Sammy.”
“You good?” Sam asked with a smile on his face.
“More than good.” She sighed. “How did you know about this stuff?”
“Jess.” He answered quietly. “She had bad cramps almost every month. Just wait 'til the pills kick in.”
Sam felt Dean squeeze his hand. He leaned up and kissed the top of her head. “I love you.” He whispered in her ear.
“I know.” She answered with a smile. “I love you too.”
*
3 MONTHS LATER
Dean stood in front of the mirror of the bathroom. She tightened the strap of the short, white terry cloth robe that she had bought recently. As she brushed her freshly washed locks, she took a deep breath and felt a nervous flutter in her heart. “Calm down, Dean.” She mumbled as she put some lotion on her face. She looked down at a perfume bottle and picked it up with shaky hands. 'It's just like cologne or aftershave' she thought to herself. She tried to remember how the saleswoman at the store demonstrated how to put on the scent. She uncapped the bottle and placed a small amount behind each ear. “I hope that's a dab...whatever the fuck a dab is.” She muttered. She put a little more on her neck and on her belly. She grabbed some clear lip gloss and placed a small amount on. She liked the sheen on her lips. She placed her hands on the counter and leaned over slightly. “Deep breath, Dean.” She sighed as she willed her legs to work; they felt like puddy.
She exited the bathroom and headed to their bedroom. She smiled as she saw a freshly showered Sam sitting on the bed in his t-shirt and boxer's. His wet hair hung in loose strands around his face. He was captivated with papers in his hands. It was research on a disturbance in Ohio. They were to leave Michigan in the next few days to investigate.
“Hi.” Dean said softly, announcing her presence. Sam startled when he heard her voice. As he gazed at his sister, he was amazed by her beauty. It took him a moment to find his voice.
“Hey.” He smiled warmly. “Ready for bed?” He asked as
he placed the papers on the nightstand.
“Not yet.” She answered as she walked over to her brother and stood between his legs. She gently grasped his face and leaned in and captured his soft, moist lips in a kiss. When they pulled back, they panted from the intensity of the kiss.
“Dean?” Sam asked quietly as he noticed a lustful sparkle in her eyes.
Dean slowly untied her robe and it fell gently to the floor. Sam gasped at the beauty of her nude body. He snaked his arms around her waist and brought her closer to him. He began laying small kisses on her chest and licked one of her hardened nipples.
“Sammy...” Dean whispered as he stood up with her in his arms. He turned towards the bed and gently placed her down. Her cheeks were flush as she stared at her brother. Sam removed his t-shirt to reveal his beautifully sculpted chest. He slipped out of his boxers and slowly climbed onto the bed. He captured her luscious lips again as their kisses became more feverish in intensity. He licked her neck as he caressed her perfect breasts.
“You smell so good...” Sam mumbled against her throat.
Dean arched towards his calloused hands, the sensation almost too much. Sam moaned as his rock hard erection rubbed against her leg as his hands touched her skin. His hand wandered down and he slipped a finger into her wet heat.
“Sam...” Dean groaned as he massaged her clitoris; he went slowly at first, steadily building as he felt Dean writhing. “Sammy...” Was all she could say as she closed her eyes and let the feelings overtake her. “I-I'm...” She stuttered as she felt shocks go through her.
“Come for me baby...” Sam urged and suddenly Dean stilled and then shook as her orgasm ripped through her.
As Dean recovered, she opened her eyes and stared at her brother. She leaned up and grabbed his face and pulled him down to her. She kissed him gently and whispered, “Sammy?”
“Yeah?” He answered gently as he moved to lay beside her.
“I'm ready.” Sam paused for a moment.
“Are you sure?”
Dean nodded. “Yes. Please...I want to feel you. I need you.”
Sam smiled as he leaned over to the nightstand and grabbed a condom and some lube. He knew she was still wet; but, after all she had gone through, he wanted to be as gentle as possible. He lay on his back so he could place the condom on, his penis twitched and his heart sped up in anticipation of entering Dean. He was generous with the lubricant and then placed it back on the table. Dean let her legs fall open as she felt Sam climb on top of her. Before he guided himself in, their eyes met. No words were needed to convey their feelings. Sam slowly pushed in, trying to minimize her discomfort. He nearly came from her tightness enveloping him. As he was halfway in, he heard her gasp and felt a subtle shift as her body tensed slightly.
“Dean.” Sam said gently. “Look at me, baby.” Dean's eyes fluttered open. “That's it. It's Sammy.” She started to relax as he pushed in further. “I'll never hurt you..no one will ever hurt you...”
“Sammy...” Dean moaned in pleasure as she relaxed and concentrated on the fullness within her.
“You're so fucking beautiful...” Sam began to move his hips. “So perfect...” The two began to move in synchrony as Dean grasped his shoulders, trying to bring herself closer to him. “All mine, baby...” Sam gasped as he felt her walls clenching around him. Dean screamed as her orgasm ripped through her. Sam followed closely after her; the most intense release of his life. He collapsed on top of her, but quickly moved to the side when he felt her tiny hand pushing at his chest. He forced himself to get up from bed and dispose of the condom. He nearly couldn't walk, his body felt so relaxed. As he returned to bed, he gathered Dean in his arms.
“That was incredible.” Dean whispered as she lay against his chest.
“Yeah.” Sam said lazily as he felt sleep beckoning. He allowed his eyes to flutter closed.
“I love you, Sammy.” Dean said as she yawned, unable to fight the yearning to fall asleep in post coital bliss. As she drifted, she mumbled, “You're the best boyfriend...” She trailed off.
Sam's eyes opened. “Did you just call me your boyfriend?” Dean could feel Sam's self satisfied grin against her head.
“Shut up, Sam.” Dean answered without opening her eyes. “Don't ruin the moment.” She added sarcastically as she returned to sleep.
Sam kissed her head and joined his sister in the land of slumber with a wonderful smile upon his face.
*
A few days later, Dean leaned into the front window of the Impala and honked the horn. “Any day now, Sam!” She shouted as she made her way back to the trunk. She made sure everything was in place and shut it. She looked at her watch. “I'd like to leave sometime this century!”
“I'm coming!” Sam shouted from the kitchen. He finished the last check around the house to see if they left anything. When he was satisfied, he stepped outside. He paused when he saw Dean standing by her car. She looked like an angel illuminated by the soft morning light. He felt such love in is heart for Dean and was eternally grateful for her.
As he walked towards the car, he heard Dean grumble, “It's about time.” Sam smiled when he saw Dean run her hand along the top of the car.
“Glad you could join us, Sammy.” She smirked as he made his way to the passenger side.
“Did I interrupt anything?” Sam rolled his eyes.
“Just reacquainting myself with her.” She replied as she patted the hood. “Isn't that right, baby?”
“Please.” Sam responded. “The way you talk to that car...”
“What are you jealous or something?” She chuckled.
“Of course not.” Sam added as he entered the car. “She just better remember who's number one.” He said as he pointed to himself. He laughed when he saw her smile.
Dean sat in the driver's seat and adjusted herself to a comfortable position. She paused right before she slipped the key into the ignition.
“Hey.” Sam said softly. Dean turned towards him. He leaned over and kissed her.
Dean quirked her eyebrow. “What was that for?” She smiled warmly.
“Everything will be fine. You're ready.” He grabbed her hand and squeezed. “We're ready.” He nodded strongly and let her hand slip away.
Dean took a deep breath. “You bet your ass we're ready.” She turned the key and the Impala roared to life. As she put it in drive, she said, “Let's get back to work.”
Fin
Continue to Part 1 of The Road Home