An Original Psalm
I wrote the following psalm as an assignment for my Old Testament class. I'm more pleased about what I tried to achieve than the actual result. (Oh the irony! Since this is a psalm about my perfectionism.) Nevertheless, since I have not written any poetry in forever, this is quite an acheivement! It's an attempt to write in the Hebrew poetic form, so rather than rhymthm or rhyme, there are a lot of parallelisms instead. My favourite part about this assignment was actually writing my commentary for it. After all, who can question the authorial intent when I am the author!
Psalm of a Perfectionist
1 Praise the Lord, for He alone deserves all glory!
2 You made the sun, moon and stars; “It is good,” You said.
You made the sea, sky and land; “It is good,” You said.
You made the plants, fish and animals; “It is good,” You said.
3 Your creation is perfect - You are perfect.
4 Then one of Your creation, made from dust,
Strived to hear, “It is good,” of her created things,
But, from everyone except You.
5 Straining for the pinnacle of perfection,
Forgetting none exists here since the Fall.
6 Vanity! Never to be fulfilled until new creation.
Forgetting that Yours is the measurement.
Forgetting You are the Creator; she, the created.
7 Many times have I failed You, many times have I broken my vow.
Do not forget me, O Lord, or turn Your face from me.
8 Though darkness shrouds me, You can see;
You whose vision pierces the depths of my soul.
9 Release me from self-made shackles, these chains I have put on.
Enslaved by the perfection I have worshipped.
10 As you heard David’s cry, O Lord, hear my plea.
May Your mercy and grace overwhelm me again.
11 Then I may turn to You, and rejoice at Your feet.
12 When I enter into Your rest, I will hear you say,
“Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
13 I will sing praises to You, and glorify Your name!
Hallelujah!
Context
This psalm is about an on-going struggle in my life - perfectionism, and the progress I’ve made in very recent times by God’s grace. Coming from a perfectionist family, having dyslexia, only compounded it. (It's been 10 years since I was first diagnosed as dyslexic, and I'm only realising now how much it has shaped me.) My perfectionism centred on academic achievement. From a young age, I keenly felt I was more intelligent than my test scores would indicate. I strived hard to demonstrate my understanding, but to no avail. It was only later in my education that I started to do well routinely. Instead of abating, the perfectionistic streak only became more pronounced as I chased after the “A”s I now knew lay within reach, but to the detriment of other things - my relationship with God, family, friends, health, even integrity. This diminished somewhat as I entered the workforce, but I found myself becoming a workaholic - another manifestation of the perfectionist. Ironically, it came back in full force when I began seminary. By God’s grace, He has been using this time to work in me on this issue, and put people in my life to walk with me through it. I began to confront my motives and assumptions - why I do what I do. It hasn’t been easy but I am grateful for it. Even as I write this psalm and commentary, I realise that things I could not admit before, I can now.
Click on the following link only if you like commentaries, expositions and general rambling. From this point on, I am making a distinction between myself as the writer of the psalm and the persona or narrator of the psalm. Although they largely overlap, it is easier for purposes of discussion. I will refer to myself as the writer or with the first person pronoun, I. The persona will be referred to as the psalmist or with the third person female pronoun, she.
Commentary
The psalm is in three movements. It begins as praise (1-3), then moves into penitence and lament (4-10), and then back into praise (11-13).
Praise to the Creator
Verse 1 sets the tone with “Praise the Lord”, much like the hallelujah psalms which close the biblical Psalter. Verse 2 shifts into a second person address, which is more personal. (As a naturalist, creation is one of the primary ways I experience God.) It recounts the first five days of creation in Genesis. I have taken some poetic licence with the order and classification, as I wanted to use a grammatical parallelism with three sets of items and then the assessment. Rather than use the formula, “And God saw that it was good”, I have adapted it to a spoken assessment - this has implications for later verses, as it will be shown. Verse 3 sums up the praise for the creator. Logically, it should be the other way around - God is perfect therefore creation is perfect - however I have inverted the order emphatically, to close this section with God’s perfection.
Lament of the Perfectionist
The penitential lament section is in two parts. The first from 4 to 6, and the second from 7 to 10; the shift is indicated by a change of the psalmist’s point of view. Verse 4 retains the second person but the psalmist speaks of herself in third person. This creates a distancing effect - I am talking about a person who is not quite me. The idea for this device is Ps 32 where David opens his penitent psalm in third person. The “dust” is a reference to Gen 2:7 where man is made from dust, thus giving the effect of writing the psalmist into the creation account. It is also a reference to Psalm 103:14 that we, humans, “are but dust”, which underscores the difference between Creator and created.
The second line of verse 4 repeats the affirmative assessment that God made earlier of His creation, but it highlights the disparity between the two. “Her created things” refers to the things she created but for euphony and brevity, it has been rendered such. These two lines reflect a new understanding I had of the Genesis account and my perfectionism: I had realised that being made in the likeness of God meant that I would desire to create things like God, thus the desire for excellence on its own is not bad. However, it too easily perverted. Firstly, it alienates me from God when I seek approval from others (in the last line of verse 4). Secondly, after the fall, recalling the curse of painful toil, perfection on earth can longer be attained (verse 5), so it is an exercise in futility (first line of 6). I borrowed “vanity” from Ecclesiastes to illustrate this. The reference to “new creation” introduces an element of hope that perfection can one day be fully realised.
“Forgetting” uses grammatical parallelism to show similar ideas of God as the Creator, the final clause uses contrast to highlight that the psalmist is not the Ultimate Creator. This is another sinful area in perfectionism, I somehow think that I am capable of perfection - this is actually idolatrous (cf. Pss 115; 135).
The second part of the lament (7-10) is more penitential, shifting into first person point of view. This makes it more personal than the preceding section. The first line of 7 is a parallelism, grammatically and in similarity of ideas. This is a direct confession from the psalmist. The second line is also a parallel of similar ideas. Verse 8 is inspired from Ps 139:11-12, where darkness is a metaphor for evil; the darkness does not hinder God. This idea is further developed in the second line of 8, where He is able to see not only me but my “inmost being” (Ps 139:13). This is a parallelism of contrasting ideas of darkness and sight. “Shroud” has a double meaning, literally, as a verb it refers to the act of surrounding and hiding but metaphorically, as a noun, its referent is often a burial cloth. Thus there is a suggestion of darkness unto death.
Verses 9 and 10 are a petition for help. The psalmist acknowledges that the problem is self-created in 9. Verse 10 appeals to what she knows of the character of God, one who listens, is gracious and merciful. The second line of 10 shows her solution to the problem - that she needs to be not only reminded, but also engulfed by God’s mercy and grace.
Return to Praise
Verse 11 marks the final shift in the psalm. There is a progressive parallelism from verse 10. It is only when God’s grace and mercy overwhelm her, will she return to Him. Verse 11 itself is a parallel of similar ideas, though the specification of being at the feet of God indicate a new humility, unlike being almost god-like in the earlier ability to create.
The “rest” referred two in 12 works on several levels. At the most basic, it is resting in God’s presence, ceasing from striving. On another level it recalls the Sabbath, Creator and creation resting on the seventh day. Finally, it also refers to the eventual rest at new creation.
The second line of 12 borrows from the parable of the talents. At its extreme, this parable is often taken to be a picture of works-based faith - we have to strive hard or risk being rejected by God. However, pairing this with rest here subverts that interpretation. It is only by resting in God that the psalmist receives the “It is good” she has been craving for. And it is even better than she expected. She is not only praised for her work, but her identity assessed as “good and faithful”. Furthermore, the addition of the first-person singular possessive (not in the parable of talents), marks her as belonging to God himself! This final assessment of the psalmist is the reason for writing God’s initial assessment of creation as verbal, allowing the reader or audience to make this connection.
The final verse of the psalm parallels the first line with the repetition of praise and glory, forming an inclusio. While the first line is a general exhortation to praise, the final line is a personal declarative. Using the modal verb “will” also indicates a desire and decision. The psalmist has moved from corporate praise to adding her own individual praise - and the section between the inclusio accounts for how and why it happens.
Psalm of a Perfectionist
1 Praise the Lord, for He alone deserves all glory!
2 You made the sun, moon and stars; “It is good,” You said.
You made the sea, sky and land; “It is good,” You said.
You made the plants, fish and animals; “It is good,” You said.
3 Your creation is perfect - You are perfect.
4 Then one of Your creation, made from dust,
Strived to hear, “It is good,” of her created things,
But, from everyone except You.
5 Straining for the pinnacle of perfection,
Forgetting none exists here since the Fall.
6 Vanity! Never to be fulfilled until new creation.
Forgetting that Yours is the measurement.
Forgetting You are the Creator; she, the created.
7 Many times have I failed You, many times have I broken my vow.
Do not forget me, O Lord, or turn Your face from me.
8 Though darkness shrouds me, You can see;
You whose vision pierces the depths of my soul.
9 Release me from self-made shackles, these chains I have put on.
Enslaved by the perfection I have worshipped.
10 As you heard David’s cry, O Lord, hear my plea.
May Your mercy and grace overwhelm me again.
11 Then I may turn to You, and rejoice at Your feet.
12 When I enter into Your rest, I will hear you say,
“Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
13 I will sing praises to You, and glorify Your name!
Hallelujah!
Context
This psalm is about an on-going struggle in my life - perfectionism, and the progress I’ve made in very recent times by God’s grace. Coming from a perfectionist family, having dyslexia, only compounded it. (It's been 10 years since I was first diagnosed as dyslexic, and I'm only realising now how much it has shaped me.) My perfectionism centred on academic achievement. From a young age, I keenly felt I was more intelligent than my test scores would indicate. I strived hard to demonstrate my understanding, but to no avail. It was only later in my education that I started to do well routinely. Instead of abating, the perfectionistic streak only became more pronounced as I chased after the “A”s I now knew lay within reach, but to the detriment of other things - my relationship with God, family, friends, health, even integrity. This diminished somewhat as I entered the workforce, but I found myself becoming a workaholic - another manifestation of the perfectionist. Ironically, it came back in full force when I began seminary. By God’s grace, He has been using this time to work in me on this issue, and put people in my life to walk with me through it. I began to confront my motives and assumptions - why I do what I do. It hasn’t been easy but I am grateful for it. Even as I write this psalm and commentary, I realise that things I could not admit before, I can now.
Click on the following link only if you like commentaries, expositions and general rambling. From this point on, I am making a distinction between myself as the writer of the psalm and the persona or narrator of the psalm. Although they largely overlap, it is easier for purposes of discussion. I will refer to myself as the writer or with the first person pronoun, I. The persona will be referred to as the psalmist or with the third person female pronoun, she.
Commentary
The psalm is in three movements. It begins as praise (1-3), then moves into penitence and lament (4-10), and then back into praise (11-13).
Praise to the Creator
Verse 1 sets the tone with “Praise the Lord”, much like the hallelujah psalms which close the biblical Psalter. Verse 2 shifts into a second person address, which is more personal. (As a naturalist, creation is one of the primary ways I experience God.) It recounts the first five days of creation in Genesis. I have taken some poetic licence with the order and classification, as I wanted to use a grammatical parallelism with three sets of items and then the assessment. Rather than use the formula, “And God saw that it was good”, I have adapted it to a spoken assessment - this has implications for later verses, as it will be shown. Verse 3 sums up the praise for the creator. Logically, it should be the other way around - God is perfect therefore creation is perfect - however I have inverted the order emphatically, to close this section with God’s perfection.
Lament of the Perfectionist
The penitential lament section is in two parts. The first from 4 to 6, and the second from 7 to 10; the shift is indicated by a change of the psalmist’s point of view. Verse 4 retains the second person but the psalmist speaks of herself in third person. This creates a distancing effect - I am talking about a person who is not quite me. The idea for this device is Ps 32 where David opens his penitent psalm in third person. The “dust” is a reference to Gen 2:7 where man is made from dust, thus giving the effect of writing the psalmist into the creation account. It is also a reference to Psalm 103:14 that we, humans, “are but dust”, which underscores the difference between Creator and created.
The second line of verse 4 repeats the affirmative assessment that God made earlier of His creation, but it highlights the disparity between the two. “Her created things” refers to the things she created but for euphony and brevity, it has been rendered such. These two lines reflect a new understanding I had of the Genesis account and my perfectionism: I had realised that being made in the likeness of God meant that I would desire to create things like God, thus the desire for excellence on its own is not bad. However, it too easily perverted. Firstly, it alienates me from God when I seek approval from others (in the last line of verse 4). Secondly, after the fall, recalling the curse of painful toil, perfection on earth can longer be attained (verse 5), so it is an exercise in futility (first line of 6). I borrowed “vanity” from Ecclesiastes to illustrate this. The reference to “new creation” introduces an element of hope that perfection can one day be fully realised.
“Forgetting” uses grammatical parallelism to show similar ideas of God as the Creator, the final clause uses contrast to highlight that the psalmist is not the Ultimate Creator. This is another sinful area in perfectionism, I somehow think that I am capable of perfection - this is actually idolatrous (cf. Pss 115; 135).
The second part of the lament (7-10) is more penitential, shifting into first person point of view. This makes it more personal than the preceding section. The first line of 7 is a parallelism, grammatically and in similarity of ideas. This is a direct confession from the psalmist. The second line is also a parallel of similar ideas. Verse 8 is inspired from Ps 139:11-12, where darkness is a metaphor for evil; the darkness does not hinder God. This idea is further developed in the second line of 8, where He is able to see not only me but my “inmost being” (Ps 139:13). This is a parallelism of contrasting ideas of darkness and sight. “Shroud” has a double meaning, literally, as a verb it refers to the act of surrounding and hiding but metaphorically, as a noun, its referent is often a burial cloth. Thus there is a suggestion of darkness unto death.
Verses 9 and 10 are a petition for help. The psalmist acknowledges that the problem is self-created in 9. Verse 10 appeals to what she knows of the character of God, one who listens, is gracious and merciful. The second line of 10 shows her solution to the problem - that she needs to be not only reminded, but also engulfed by God’s mercy and grace.
Return to Praise
Verse 11 marks the final shift in the psalm. There is a progressive parallelism from verse 10. It is only when God’s grace and mercy overwhelm her, will she return to Him. Verse 11 itself is a parallel of similar ideas, though the specification of being at the feet of God indicate a new humility, unlike being almost god-like in the earlier ability to create.
The “rest” referred two in 12 works on several levels. At the most basic, it is resting in God’s presence, ceasing from striving. On another level it recalls the Sabbath, Creator and creation resting on the seventh day. Finally, it also refers to the eventual rest at new creation.
The second line of 12 borrows from the parable of the talents. At its extreme, this parable is often taken to be a picture of works-based faith - we have to strive hard or risk being rejected by God. However, pairing this with rest here subverts that interpretation. It is only by resting in God that the psalmist receives the “It is good” she has been craving for. And it is even better than she expected. She is not only praised for her work, but her identity assessed as “good and faithful”. Furthermore, the addition of the first-person singular possessive (not in the parable of talents), marks her as belonging to God himself! This final assessment of the psalmist is the reason for writing God’s initial assessment of creation as verbal, allowing the reader or audience to make this connection.
The final verse of the psalm parallels the first line with the repetition of praise and glory, forming an inclusio. While the first line is a general exhortation to praise, the final line is a personal declarative. Using the modal verb “will” also indicates a desire and decision. The psalmist has moved from corporate praise to adding her own individual praise - and the section between the inclusio accounts for how and why it happens.