...if only I had all the answers for myself

[mariah_c]

I'm confused. I've always been in control of my destiny, I never allowed anything to stand in the way of what I wanted and felt that I deserved. But what do you do when the lines of friendship get blurred, smudged by the hand of doubt and guilt and unrest

Comments

[celine_angelil]

*All curled up on the couch, she was flipping through the digital cable channels like it was somebody's job. She yawned a little bit, and looked at her watch. And then over at Rene, and Rene Charles who were both sound asleep in a chair together. She quickly got bored with the TV, and so she picked up her cell phone and dialed Mariah's phone number.*

[mariah_c]

*walks into her room in her Manhattan loft, finally free of her entourage, and sits at the edge of the bed, relieved to finally be off her feet*

*starts unstrapping the stillettos from her feet, notices the flashing cell phone on the night stand, sees it's your number calling, picks up*

*in a high-pitched tone* Ceeeeeee! how you doin'?

[celine_angelil]

Really good. *yawns* Tired. I don't think I'm used to doing my shows like this..one after another.

How are you doing sweetie?

*She sprawled herself out on the couch, and waited for a reply*

[mariah_c]

*pulls one shoe off and drops it to the ground*

I'm not surprised. I don't know how you manage to stay up past eight o'clock any night.

*starts wrangling with the other shoe*

eh, I'm... okay. a lot on my mind lately. seeing Tommy the other day didn't help improve my mood much, y'know?

[celine_angelil]

*yawns again*

I don't know how I do it either.

And I don't know why you get yourself all worked up over little things that don't matter. You know you deserve so much better.

*gets up, and walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge, examining all of it's contents*

[mariah_c]

*pulls off the other shoe finally and drops it next to the first one*

*makes a face* yeah, I know he doesn't matter. but sometimes I feel like I don't know what does matter and what's just a waste of my time.

*gets up from the bed and walks into the hallway towards the kitchen* I honestly don't know how you do it, girl. I couldn't manage a husband, baby, and nightly shows like you do - hell, I can barely manage a boyfriend. or my own FRIENDS for that matter.

*flips on the light switch disgustedly* ugh. I'm just so frustrated lately.

[celine_angelil]

*she pulls out a diet coke, and closes the fridge. and sighs a little*

Mariah, when you find the right one..you'll know. That's where you're supposed to be. And it doesn't matter how exhausting it is. Or, anything. It's a different kind of exhaustion. It's, a good exhaustion..

And you don't manage your friends. Your friends will be there for you, no matter what. And if they aren't then they aren't really your friends to begin with.

Most of our friends are all the same. We all have a busy life style. And..that's how we relate to each other.

You're just tired. Confused. And it sounds to me like you need a break.

See? You have me being all Motherly on you.

*she pops the diet coke open and takes a long sip and the burps in Mariah's ear*

[mariah_c]

*drops into a chair dejectedly* yeah, yeah, I know. I'm just being whiny because I'm tired of being on the road so much. it gets freaking lonely sometimes, Ce... and I hate admitting that.

*pulls a bag of banana chips towards her and shakes a couple out onto the tabletop*

you know that fight with Marshall I told you about? he sent a Christmas gift to my apartment, told me that I had a heart of gold... *trails off*

*sighs* but I knoooowww you're right. you always are. I'm supposed to be on a break right now, but I've been out and around every day since I got back from Vegas.

*giggles as you burp* yeah, Ce, real motherly. how'd Rene Charles get to be so lucky?

[celine_angelil]

*giggles a little bit, and sits on top of the kitchen counter*

You do have a heart of gold. Maybe that was his way of telling you that he's sorry. Maybe he thinks that he can buy your love.

I don't know. Soon, he'll be burping and farting. And he'll think it's the funniest thing ever.

Maybe you should come and stay with Rene and I. So you can have some relaxation. We can go to the spa, and, um. Go to the strip clubs. And, um. Go..to the casinos. I never get to go to the casinos and I live here.

*takes another sip of her diet coke, but refrains from burping*

[mariah_c]

*throws a few chips in her mouth and folds her legs up so she's sitting on one*

*laughs* my love don't cost a thing. JLo's love, on the other hand, really doesn't cost a thing either because she told him she was in love with him. and he's in love with Britney, even though she hasn't been around. and Beyonce's in love with Shawn, and Shawn's not in love with anybody. *laughs again*

how am I supposed to maintain my sanity when everyone around me is crazy? *shakes her head, smiling*

I'd love a weekend away. but they added a couple more dates to the tour, so it looks like I'm gonna be going through March at least. and Rene smells. *grins*

[celine_angelil]

Wow hello pop world Soap Opera. Shawn's a playa. *giggles at the way that she says playa* And, Beyonce deserves better. So does JLo.

I think you all should just go and egg Eminem's house..

*kicks her shoes off, and then takes yet another sip of the diet coke*

[mariah_c]

*laughs out loud at your playa comment* that sounds so beautiful with a French accent.

yeah, he is a player. but you know they say, you can't hate the player, you gotta hate the game. and I hate it, all right. *crunches on some chips* I tried telling Jenny that she deserved better, but she wouldn't listen. and Bey... *sighs lightly and trails off*

*with her mouth full* I'd be afraid that Britney'd send her giant bodyguards after me if I dared egg their house.

[celine_angelil]

*laughs with her* I know. I'm getting better with the English slang..Jenny wouldn't listen because she's in love and when you're in love you don't wanna listen to anyone.

Britney wouldn't do that. And you shouldn't really do it, just hire someone to do it for you.

[mariah_c]

*gets up from the table and pours a glass of iced tea from the fridge*

you don't need to know English slang. it's dirty and stupid and not worth knowing at all.

*sits back down at the table, leans back in her chair and fiddles with one of the butterfly fixtures on the chair leg* Jenny's crazy. in a good way. I can't help but love the girl to pieces.

*smiles at the Britney comment* you're right, she's too much of a sweet Southern girl. maybe Rene Charles can help me out in the egging department in a few years.

*takes a sip of tea* I think I'm supposed to see Shawn soon.

[celine_angelil]

*laughs* She's crazy like you. Crazy in a good way crazy.

And I'm sure Rene Charles would love that but please don't get him arrested.

Shawn? Yeah? How do you feel about that? Oh wait, I know. Or do I?

*jumps off of the kitchen counter, and quietly walks into the living room, and checks to see of Rene and Rene Charles are still sleeping.*

[mariah_c]

*laughs* I think the craziness is what makes us such good friends.

if I ever managed to get your son arrested I'm sure that you could slip the police office a signed copy of 1 Fille and he'd get off so clean.

*tosses another chip in her mouth and chews thoughtfully* well, it depends about Shawn. what do you think you know?

*blushes in spite of herself*