you need a lot of faith
faith. I'm telling everyone to have some freaking faith. well you know what the problem is? the problem is that no one has faith in THEMSELVES. it's not enough to have faith in someone else, or your love for someone else, or the love you share or shared with someone else. and I know it's not like I have a lot to say in this area because, like I said to Willa last night, it's not like I've had much luck in this area. but all of this drama and uncertainty and mixed messages is stressing everybody out and this isn't what I intended to find when I came home for a weekend.
seeing Willa last night was amazing of course, because we bring the house down and tear it all up. I think we'd powered through about two and a half bottles of Moet before the limo took us both home... I hadn't partied down like that in a long time. our conversation was a revealing one to both of us, I think...
I had to fly back to Shanghai and they pulled me into a press conference practically the second we landed. I had been up all night thinking about things and was really not in the mood for any press conferences at that particular moment, but I guess work is work.
I had really, really hoped to see shawn_carter this weekend, but that didn't end up working out like I had wanted it to. I'll be back in the States again in the beginning of December, so I guess I'll just play phone tag with him until then.
I don't know. I'm worrying about Willa, and I hate flying when I have things on my mind. but it's back to the tour, back to the exhiliration.
I just... have a hard time having faith in myself when I can't tell if I'm just setting myself up for pain. or if I'm setting myself up for anything at all.
seeing Willa last night was amazing of course, because we bring the house down and tear it all up. I think we'd powered through about two and a half bottles of Moet before the limo took us both home... I hadn't partied down like that in a long time. our conversation was a revealing one to both of us, I think...
I had to fly back to Shanghai and they pulled me into a press conference practically the second we landed. I had been up all night thinking about things and was really not in the mood for any press conferences at that particular moment, but I guess work is work.
I had really, really hoped to see shawn_carter this weekend, but that didn't end up working out like I had wanted it to. I'll be back in the States again in the beginning of December, so I guess I'll just play phone tag with him until then.
I don't know. I'm worrying about Willa, and I hate flying when I have things on my mind. but it's back to the tour, back to the exhiliration.
I just... have a hard time having faith in myself when I can't tell if I'm just setting myself up for pain. or if I'm setting myself up for anything at all.