You know you're from Omaha if...

[mariah00]

You graduated from a high school that had a geographical direction for a name.

You know exactly what and where Counciltuckey is, and you stay away from it.

You call anything past Elkhorn "the rest of Nebraska."

You consider Omaha the one true capital; Lincoln's just your retarded little brother.

You take pride in the fact that the Cheesecake Factory just opened; it makes you cosmopolitan.

You know where to find the underground music scene, and mourned the loss of the Ranch Bowl.

You cried when the Woodhouse car guy died.

You know what Marlon Brando, Henry Fonda, and Malcom X have in common.

You have visited the Amazon rainforest, the Antarctic circle, and the Sahara Desert all in a day.

You worked at the Zoo at some point in your life.

You call anything past 90th "way out there."

You know what "annexing" means.

You know what The Beef is. And yes, you know their cheer.

You know (and cringe at) Mulberry Lane.

You think the only good thing to come out of Lincoln is the Huskers.

You have never been to the panhandle.

You are sick and tired of being asked if you have electricity every time you step out of the state.

You judge a person's socioeconomic income by the street number in their address.

You open your front lawn up for parking during CWS and charge ten bucks.

You have seen the Christmas Carol with "that one guy" at least four hundred times.

You have bought tickets for the one yearly Broadway show six months in advance.

You have never stepped foot on a farm.

You remember October of 1997 because you didn't have to do jack squat for five days.

Snow Days have slowly become an endangered species.

You know what a Hy Vee is.

You have eaten at Johnny's, Caniglia's, AND Mr. C's.

You know everything about Warren Buffet's love life.

You say you're going to a "cheapee" whenever you watch a movie at Westwood or the Stockyards.

You judge the popularity of a movie by how long it takes it to transfer to the Westwood or the Stockyards.

You wouldn't dream of ever using public transportation and would die rather than walk somewhere.

You know all about the middle lane of Dodge.

One of your parents worked for Mutual of Omaha or Con Agra.

You don't find anything weird about it being sunny when you walk into a building and find it monsooning when you walk out.

There are no Republicans and Democrats; it's Republicans and "those damn hippies."

You or someone you knew was an extra in "About Schmidt."

You know what "About Schmidt" is.

A perfectly acceptable speed when driving is 90 miles an hour.

You live on a street named after a dead guy.

You can count every time you saw Omaha on CNN.

You cringe when you hear "River City Roundup," but you still go to it every year.

You live either down a hill, on the slope of a hill, or on top of a hill.

You can tell the difference between Rob McCartney and John Knicely (although you're sure they're both evil clones ...)

You, too, wished Bush had stayed in Louisiana on 9/11.

You love Caffeine Dreams.

You know the difference between Dundee, Florence, Benson, Bellevue, and Papillion (and you know how to pronounce them).

You've been to the midnight movie and know the staff by first name.

You take construction into consideration when guessing how long it will take to get somewhere.

You know what the term "river rats" means.

You know what someone is talking about when they say "Little Mexico."

You go downtown more than once a week.

You go to Hummel Park in search of albinos.