(no subject)
The season's changing here in the Northwest...yesterday it slowly drizzled all day, and the sun only peeked out once or twice. Most people would think that this would be depressing- but as I woke up to the soft sound of raindrops outside my window, a feeling of content washed over me. I'm an Oregonian, tried and true...and last night my cat jumped up on his spot upstairs, above the dryer, on all our clean clothes and snuggled himself in for a good three-hour nap. He hasn't done this in months, as the upstairs is usually too hot. And this morning, my feet were cold, and I had to put on slippers. There's something comforting about nature's steady cycle.
Joe is on his way back from Portland as I write- we were supposed to go hang out at his friend's house up there and spend the night last night, but I had a bad cold and decided that it wouldn't be nice to be hacking at 6 a.m. at someone else's house. It was my first night alone in a long time, and it was nice, but at the same time lonely. I've learned I don't know how to be alone anymore. I really should work on that.
Marriage is better, and worse, than I expected it to be. That's the only way I can sum it up. I've tried countless times in the last few weeks to put it into words, but for the first time in my life I could not. It either sounded too sappy, or too depressing, which it is neither. I have developed a strange sense of security that I haven't felt since I was a little girl being tucked in by my parents, hearing my mom's piano playing lulling me to sleep. Yet, at the same time, I won't let myself feel too comfortable in this security, as nothing is ever truly secure. We shall see what the next years have in store...
We're thinking of moving to Portland, if only for a year or two. Close enough to the family, big enough city to learn what the definition of a night-life is. But that is still months off, if at all.
Joe is on his way back from Portland as I write- we were supposed to go hang out at his friend's house up there and spend the night last night, but I had a bad cold and decided that it wouldn't be nice to be hacking at 6 a.m. at someone else's house. It was my first night alone in a long time, and it was nice, but at the same time lonely. I've learned I don't know how to be alone anymore. I really should work on that.
Marriage is better, and worse, than I expected it to be. That's the only way I can sum it up. I've tried countless times in the last few weeks to put it into words, but for the first time in my life I could not. It either sounded too sappy, or too depressing, which it is neither. I have developed a strange sense of security that I haven't felt since I was a little girl being tucked in by my parents, hearing my mom's piano playing lulling me to sleep. Yet, at the same time, I won't let myself feel too comfortable in this security, as nothing is ever truly secure. We shall see what the next years have in store...
We're thinking of moving to Portland, if only for a year or two. Close enough to the family, big enough city to learn what the definition of a night-life is. But that is still months off, if at all.