RE: MESSAGES TO PUBLIC
--Stop wearing bright red lipstick. Yes, YOU. If you own bright red lipstick - throw it out. It looks shitty on everyone. And if it's matte, it also dries out your lips and you look like you've been doing shots of vinegar. Seriously. THROW IT OUT.
--For the love of all that is good and holy, stop calling me so much. Seriously. I cannot think of a single, solitary person on this earth that I actually want to talk to every day. Not one. I love Rachel, and I'd even get tired of her after awhile. JUST STOP. I mean I'm practically a shut-in and I have too much of a life to call someone that much. Geez. I only want to talk to people two, three times a week tops. And I'd be hard-pressed to think of more than two or three I'd even want to talk to that often.
--FYI: I am not sociable. I think people are, for the most part, jerks. Yes, jerks. Myself included. I am a total jerk.
--I'm hungry, but everything looks disgusting. DISGUSTING. Rice? UGH. Eggs? THROW UP. I'm trying to stick to anything that...well, anything that doesn't have a taste. Like rice and eggs. Which still look disgusting. I'm going to try to choke down some toast.
--I appreciate your concern, but stop worrying about me already! Seriously, man! I'm A-OK. Well actually I'm not - but every time we talk you don't have to turn all concerned older brother on me, alright? I mean I really appreciate it - really I do - but sometimes when I talk to you, I'd like you to tell me about yourself. Stop asking how I'm doing. How are you doing? Your efforts will not go unrewarded, and yes I realize you think I am vulnerable and wounded - and I am vulnerable and wounded. And yes, to assuage your ego - I do need you. If I lost you - I'd be lost. Just start trying to be there for the happy times too, okay? Cause I like myself better that way. I bet you would, too. Grasshopper has learned much, Confucius, but Grasshopper not learned to harden heart.
--Have a wonderful idea for a story. Short, long, whatever. Not sure yet. Involving a bipolar, starving writer (early 30s) and her best childhood buddy who happens to be married/separated/newly divorced (can't decide) who she happens to have been sleeping with for 15 years, since before he married. He's a year younger than her and has had his Ph.D since he was 27, thus making her feel like a loser. He will most definitely be a genius and afraid of tipping her over the edge. She may have a meltdown, or she may just stay stoic and play the ice-princess. Suicide attempts/ideations can be expected. He's going to have a picture-perfect life and she's going to be living in a shitty apartment wearing and heavy eyeliner all the time, whilst he always looks spiffy. I also can't decide how upset she's going to be over the fact that he married someone else and not her. I think her pain is going to be in the form of self-loathing and guilt. I'm getting a fatalistic vibe out of this character, I really am.
I also don't know if most of the scenes will involve a cabin in the woods (where she may or may not have gone to kill herself), or a condo on the beach. It has to be secluded. SHE has to be secluded.
Maybe - maybe a gay boyfriend who lives in her apartment building that she confides in.
Damn, I'm further along on this than I thought.
--Did I mention I feel angsty?
--Thanks for your emails. You and you. You know who you are. I'm going to write back, really. I just have so much information to process since I got them that I need to sit on it for awhile.
--I practiced yoga for the first time in 5 days last week. I'm sore. :(
--I think school started. I'm not enrolled, so how the hell would I know? But I have to go to that class...ughhhhh I wish I'd been able to do it this summer! **whine**
--Every play I thought I would write my paper on we went over in class. Goddammit. Why does EVERY college literature class read The Glass Menagerie, and A Doll's House? Or whatever it's called. Ick. I think I'll write on The Crucible.
--I'm hungry. Dry toast, it is! It's all I can choke down. :(
--Home Movies makes me giggle. Haha!
--Everyone has a white whale.
--I love you, too.
--For the love of all that is good and holy, stop calling me so much. Seriously. I cannot think of a single, solitary person on this earth that I actually want to talk to every day. Not one. I love Rachel, and I'd even get tired of her after awhile. JUST STOP. I mean I'm practically a shut-in and I have too much of a life to call someone that much. Geez. I only want to talk to people two, three times a week tops. And I'd be hard-pressed to think of more than two or three I'd even want to talk to that often.
--FYI: I am not sociable. I think people are, for the most part, jerks. Yes, jerks. Myself included. I am a total jerk.
--I'm hungry, but everything looks disgusting. DISGUSTING. Rice? UGH. Eggs? THROW UP. I'm trying to stick to anything that...well, anything that doesn't have a taste. Like rice and eggs. Which still look disgusting. I'm going to try to choke down some toast.
--I appreciate your concern, but stop worrying about me already! Seriously, man! I'm A-OK. Well actually I'm not - but every time we talk you don't have to turn all concerned older brother on me, alright? I mean I really appreciate it - really I do - but sometimes when I talk to you, I'd like you to tell me about yourself. Stop asking how I'm doing. How are you doing? Your efforts will not go unrewarded, and yes I realize you think I am vulnerable and wounded - and I am vulnerable and wounded. And yes, to assuage your ego - I do need you. If I lost you - I'd be lost. Just start trying to be there for the happy times too, okay? Cause I like myself better that way. I bet you would, too. Grasshopper has learned much, Confucius, but Grasshopper not learned to harden heart.
--Have a wonderful idea for a story. Short, long, whatever. Not sure yet. Involving a bipolar, starving writer (early 30s) and her best childhood buddy who happens to be married/separated/newly divorced (can't decide) who she happens to have been sleeping with for 15 years, since before he married. He's a year younger than her and has had his Ph.D since he was 27, thus making her feel like a loser. He will most definitely be a genius and afraid of tipping her over the edge. She may have a meltdown, or she may just stay stoic and play the ice-princess. Suicide attempts/ideations can be expected. He's going to have a picture-perfect life and she's going to be living in a shitty apartment wearing and heavy eyeliner all the time, whilst he always looks spiffy. I also can't decide how upset she's going to be over the fact that he married someone else and not her. I think her pain is going to be in the form of self-loathing and guilt. I'm getting a fatalistic vibe out of this character, I really am.
I also don't know if most of the scenes will involve a cabin in the woods (where she may or may not have gone to kill herself), or a condo on the beach. It has to be secluded. SHE has to be secluded.
Maybe - maybe a gay boyfriend who lives in her apartment building that she confides in.
Damn, I'm further along on this than I thought.
--Did I mention I feel angsty?
--Thanks for your emails. You and you. You know who you are. I'm going to write back, really. I just have so much information to process since I got them that I need to sit on it for awhile.
--I practiced yoga for the first time in 5 days last week. I'm sore. :(
--I think school started. I'm not enrolled, so how the hell would I know? But I have to go to that class...ughhhhh I wish I'd been able to do it this summer! **whine**
--Every play I thought I would write my paper on we went over in class. Goddammit. Why does EVERY college literature class read The Glass Menagerie, and A Doll's House? Or whatever it's called. Ick. I think I'll write on The Crucible.
--I'm hungry. Dry toast, it is! It's all I can choke down. :(
--Home Movies makes me giggle. Haha!
--Everyone has a white whale.
--I love you, too.