Before Your Memory Fades by Toshikazu Kawaguchi (translated by Geoffrey Trousselot).
Title: Before Your Memory Fades.
Author: Toshikazu Kawaguchi (translated by Geoffrey Trousselot).
Genre: Fiction, fantasy, time travel, death, romance.
Country: Japan.
Language: Japanese.
Publication Date: 2022.
Summary: On the hillside of Mount Hakodate in northern Japan, Cafe Donna Donna is fabled for its dazzling views of Hakodate port. But that’s not all. Like the charming Tokyo cafe Funiculi Funicula, Cafe Donna Donna offers its customers the extraordinary experience of travelling through time. Here comes another story of four new customers, each of whom is hoping to take advantage of the cafe's time-travelling offer, bound by some extremely limiting and strange laws though it may be. Among some familiar faces, we meet a daughter who begrudges her deceased parents for leaving her orphaned, a comedian who aches for his beloved and their shared dreams, a younger sister whose grief has become all-consuming, and a young man who realizes his love for his childhood friend too late.
My rating: 7.5/10
My review:
♥ Hakodate boasts many sloping streets. Nineteen of them have been given names, including Twenty Astride Rise, which stretches up from Japan's oldest electricity pole, and Eight Banner Rise, which starts near the redbrick warehouses of Hakodate's touristy Bay Area. Others include Fish View Rise and Ship View Rise, which climb up from the Hakodate waterfront. Father over the hillside are Circle Rise and Green Willow Rise, which climb up toward Yachigashiracho, meaning "head of the valley." But there is one sloping street that the tourist maps don't know. Locals refer to it as No Name Rise.
Its name was Café Donna Donna, and a peculiar urban legend was attached to a particular seat in that café.
Apparently, if you sat on that seat, it would take you back in time to whenever you wanted.
Bur the rules were extremely annoying and a terrible nuisance..
♥ There is a man or woman with whom you are very much in love.
If the world were to end tomorrow, which would you do?
1. You propose to them.
2. You don't propose because there is no point.
"So, which is it?" Saki had pulled her gaze from the book and was looking at Nanako, sitting beside her.
"Um, I'm not sure which I would do."
"Come on, which?"
"Well, which would you do, Saki?"
"Me? I think I would propose."
"Why?"
"I don't like the idea of dying with regrets."
"Oh, I guess that's a fair point."
"Eh? Nanako, are you saying you wouldn't propose?"
Pressed to answer, Nanako tilted her head. "Oh, I don't know," she stated softly. "Well, maybe if I knew for certain that he loved me, I would. But if I wasn't sure how he felt, I probably wouldn't."
"Really? Why not?"
Saki seemed unable to accept what Nanako was saying.
"Well, if I knew he loved me, I wouldn't be presenting him with a dilemma, would I?"
"No, I guess not."
"But if he had never thought about me in that way before, then proposing would force him to think about me differently, and I would hate to add to his worries."
"Oh, and that does actually happen, with men, particularly. Like on Valentine's Day when some guy gets chocolate from a woman he had never thought about before. Suddenly he becomes all conscious of her."
"I'd feel pretty rotten if I caused someone extra worries just at the time the world is about to end. I also wouldn't like it if I didn't get a reply. So, although proposing to someone might be meaningful, I don't think I would do it."
♥ Right now, in front of you is a room that only one person can enter. If you enter it, you will be saved from the end of the world.
If the world were to end tomorrow, which action do you take?
1. You enter the room.
2. You don't enter the room.
"So, which do you choose?" Nanako's resonant voice carried well.
"Hmm."
Sachi knitted her brows. Both Nanako and Saki smiled while they watched Sachi as she seemed to ponder the question seriously. Their smiles were probably born from relief that she was just a seven-year-old girl after all.
"Was that question too hard for you, Sachi?" Nanako asked, studying Sachi's face.
"I wouldn't enter the room," Sachi declared confidently.
"Oh?" Nanako sounded taken aback by Sachi's unwavering certainty. Nanako had chosen to enter the room, as had Saki beside her. Kazu, still behind the counter, listened to the conversation among the three with a cool expression.
"Why not enter?" Nanako asked. Her voice sounded amazed that a seven-year-old girl would choose to not enter the room.
Seemingly oblivious to how puzzled Nanako and Saki appeared, Sachi sat up straight and stated a reason that for them was unthinkable.
"Well, surviving alone is much the same as dying alone, don't you think?"
♥ Yayoi struggled to understand this unexpected detail.
"Wait a second... coffee? Why coffee?" She wanted a satisfying answer. "And are you saying that your daughter will be pouring the coffee...? Why not you...? Does it have to be your daughter...? One more thing, the time until the coffee gets cold is a bit short, isn't it...? Really...? That's the time limit...? Eh...? Huh?" Yayoi rattled off everything going through her mind. In her restlessness, she had completely forgotten a very important thing.
Because that's the rule...
Whatever Yayoi asked, it would be met with that simple answer.
One could not in fact return to the past if tea or cocoa were poured instead of coffee. In truth, even Kazu didn't know why it had to be coffee. It was not as if they were using special coffee beans. Any available commercial coffee beans could be used. There were no specific requirements for the tool used for grinding the coffee either. Nor was there a particular brewing method-whether brewed by drip or siphon, it did not matter. However, the kettle, an heirloom made of silver and used for generations, was necessary. The reason why any other kettle couldn't pour a time-traveling brew was also unknown. Yayoi had come this far, so she had little choice but to eventually accept the because that's the rule explanation.
♥ Yayoi exclaimed, realizing that her body was becoming one with the steam from the coffee. The shimmering and rippling effects were occurring not to her surroundings, but to herself. She felt her body rise and at the same time, the scenery started falling down around her. Inside this flow, she saw scenes of times past in the café projected like a kaleidoscope. Day melted into night; night passed into day. What seemed like a long stretch of time cascaded down in moments.
I'm going back in time.
Yayoi gently closed her eyes. She felt no fear. Her motive was clear to her. There was just one thing that was important. How could she bring about a level of suffering greater than she herself had suffered? No matter what she did, her bitter reality in the present would not change. And so, this was reprisal. She had a score to settle with her parents, who had left her alone in this world.
♥ "Why were other people living happily wile I was unable to get a decent break anywhere I went? It made me so sad, I began to doubt whether there was any value to being alive."
As Yukari listened to Miyuki, tears began welling up in her eyes.
"During the winter, five years ago... on that day when I was standing at the pier thinking of jumping in the water... if you hadn't called out to me, Yukari..."
"Yes, I remember that day..."
"If I had never met you or found this café."
"I dragged you up here, didn't I? Yes, I remember."
"I don't think I would have ever found my happiness."
"Oh, come now."
"So, thank you so much," said Miyuki, deeply lowering her head once more.
Yayoi couldn't believe her ears. It was the first time she had heard this. Just like her, Miyuki also had been separated from her parents when she was a little girl. She too had started working after middle school. She had been tormented; she had struggled. And she had even wanted to die.
Yet, despite that...
She was different from her. While Yayoi was walking through a life of complaints and dissatisfaction, Miyuki was firmly seizing happiness.
What happened? What was different between her and Miyuki? Yayoi was so engrossed in the ladies' conversation, she was barely remembering to breathe.
"Lift your head up," said Yukari.
Miyuki responded by slowly rising. Yukari was gazing at her, smiling warmly.
"You should be proud of yourself for sticking with it and never giving up. You were impressive in your persistence. It didn't happen by magic! Remember when I called out to you on that day? Your life didn't suddenly transform by itself, did it? None of your problems suddenly fixed themselves, did they? But you looked to the future and persevered. You have what you have today because you never gave up telling yourself that you had to be happy."
Miyuki had been listening, nodding with agreement at everything Yukari had said. Thick droplets of tears trickled from her eyes.
"So, lift up your head. You can stand proud. Because you seized the happiness you have now."
♥ "Say you are having an extramarital affair...
"If the world were to end tomorrow, which would you do?
1. You spend your remaining time with your husband or wife.
2. You spend it with the man or woman with whom you are having an extramarital affair.
"Which one?"
"Hmm," mumbled the man, tilting his head. "If I answer 'two,' I think it would tarnish my character. ..I choose 'two.' ..Why did I choose 'two,' you ask?"
Saki took it upon herself to voice the question Nanako wanted to ask.
"If I didn't choose 'two,' what sense would it make that I had had an affair?"
She wasn't defending infidelity. She was imply saying that if she had purposely chosen to do something so frowned upon, then she would have chosen her secret lover in a scenario where the world was ending the next day. She wasn't saying that it was the correct thing to do, just that it was her personal view.
♥ ..Hamlet ponders taking revenge, anguishing over whether to do it or not do it. Overtaken by greed, the uncle had poisoned his own brother, usurped the throne and made his brother's widow, Hamlet's mother, his consort. It was clear that the uncle in this story was totally evil. And if Hamlet, fully aware of that truth, had not hesitated and taken his revenge immediately, it wouldn't have caused unhappiness to anyone. Yet Hamlet was lost. What was he to do? Should he believe the words of a ghost? Would that be wrong? Did he really want to run headfirst into a fight? And could he live with himself if he did nothing? In other words, the guts of the story can be found in Hamlet's irresolute character.
While in that lost state of mind, he loses Ophelia, the woman he most dearly loves, he causes the death of innocent bystanders, his friends plot to murder him and his mother is poisoned. At the end of the story, both Hamlet and his uncle are dead and even the country is overthrown. The play is epically long, lasting over four hours. However, when you unravel the play to get to the heart of the issue, you could say it's about one individual wavering on the question of to do or not to do.
Of course, Nanako, Saki and the man weren't giving any thought to how One Hundred Questions successfully pushed the reader to make big fork-in-the-road decisions. They were just playing around with the concept of making one's final choice in the hypothetical scenario of the world ending.
"Indecisiveness is self-destructive," warned Sachi to the man in sunglasses, who was indecisive like Hamlet. Having read the entire words of Shakespeare, child prodigy Sachi was probably the only one among them who had some inkling that One Hundred Questions was more than a simple book for light entertainment.
♥ They had this conversation many times. Saki was no doubt sincere in her belief that Reiji would be better off forgoing his dream of becoming a comedian. However, Reiji took in what she was saying as words in jest. After all, to a man driven by his dreams, such words are like water off a duck's back.
♥ Burnout syndrome is considered by some to be a type of depression. But while depression begins with stress or fatigue or a large shock like an accident or a loss, burnout syndrome originates with the thought that all of one's efforts are in vain. It strikes right at a time when life is not turning out as expected, despite devotedly pouring one's soul into a certain activity, usually one's work.
However, the term is frequently used in Japan when talking about negative psychological states of elite athletes as an aftermath of major events. Such athletes experience a void-like emptiness in the face of achieving their lifetime's greatest goal, unable to identify that next great challenge.
♥ Crimson autumn leaves and navy blue sky. Melancholic, but beautiful.
♥ The tension in Todoroki's face as he headed for the vacant chair reminded Nagare of something.
That something was the hesitation of someone about to meet their... deceased sister, deceased friend, deceased mother or deceased wife.
The more precious those feelings, the stronger the sense of disorientation. The reason for that was simple. You can reverse time and meet the person you most dearly love, but you cannot reverse death. That was the rule. No matter how hard you try, you cannot change the present.
♥ "Stop pretending I never died."
Todoroki gulped.
"If I didn't die, you wouldn't have to be coming back to the past to tell me this news."
"No."
"It's okay. You can stop lying."
"I..."
"Look, I already know I'm sick. I've been told I haven't long to live..."
"Setsuko..."
"I was so happy when you proposed, but I was confused as what I should do. I couldn't consult with Mom and Dad. It would just upset them to hear about my situation. That's why I turned to Yukari..."
Todoroki remembered both their aghast expressions the moment he appeared here. While Yukari had started talking with Todoroki after that, Setsuko had kept her back turned to him for a while. It was at that time, she realized that she would die and accepted it.
"Thank you. I'm so happy that you came to tell me. I honestly didn't imagine I would ever experience this kind of happiness again. There's no need to cry," said Setsuko, lovingly wiping away the tears streaming from Todoroki's eyes. .."You really love me, don't you?"
As always, she was smiling without a care in the world.
"That's why you kept working at it even after I died?"
"Winning the Comedian Grand Prix was your dream..."
"Sure was."
"That's why I was just focused on winning the Comedian Grand Prix. It was all I was living for."
"And you can keep on fighting, can't you?"
Todoroki shook his head.
"Why not?"
"With you gone, there's no longer anything to live for."
He started bawling uncontrollably.
But Setsuko just smiled back fondly. He was precious to her.
"But I am still here," she reminded him gently.
"I'll always be by your side," she said without hesitation.
"Even though I die, as long as you don't forget me, I'll always be in your heart. The reason you kept working hard even after I died was that I was still in your heart, right?"
In my heart?
"I think it's wonderful if you carry on after I die. It would make me really happy. After all, only you can bring happiness to the dead me."
...to the dead you?
"I love you, Gen, with all my life."
I...
"I won't let you say it's over just because I'm gone."
...thought it was all over when you died.
"So, you can keep on doing it for me, right?"
Todoroki was sobbing like a child.
It doesn't end with death.
Come to think of it, how much of his life had he devoted to fulfilling Setsuko's wishes?
Ten percent? Perhaps it was only one percent.
He couldn't say it was with all his life.
He was intending to throw away that life midstream.
He was intending to throw away his life with Setsuko.
That's what she was trying to make him see.
And now he realized.
If he were to make his late wife happy, he would have to fight through this life.
♥ Nagare turned to Reiji with rather a serious expression. "I've been giving it a lot of thought..." he mumbled, as if he were talking to himself
"Thought about what?" Reiji cocked his head to one side.
"The reason why I never thought I'd like to see her..." He was referring to the conversation that evening that stemmed from Reiji's question. Reiji had asked him, "You had a chance to see her after fourteen years. Didn't you long to meet her?"
Although Reiji had originally asked, he had kind of moved on, considering the conversation ended. But Nagare had been continually mulling it over, having been unable to answer the question.
"It's like Todoroki said just before."
"Huh? What did he say?"
"She wouldn't let hims say it's over just because she's gone," Nagare muttered.
"Ah, yeah, right."
"I think that too," he muttered. "I've never thought that death was the end."
♥ People's true feelings are not in plain sight. The other person might not be thinking anything, but there is a tendency to just assume what the other is feeling without reaching out and asking.
♥ "In other words, you do care."
"No, caring about something and being curious about something are subtly different."
"Too subtle for me to understand."
"Fine, you don't have to."
♥ "Ten years old?"
This was Nanako. Sachi nodded slightly to confirm.
"That's rather a borderline age."
What Nanako meant by borderline was that it was an age where a child was still very much a child but now able to understand what adults were talking about. At age ten, a child is a technological expert, so it is no longer possible to explain things in a half-hearted manner.
♥ "Look, I'm saying this out of kindness. One day you'll be wanting to take it all back, and then what? It'll be too late for regrets."
"It will never be like that because I will never regret it."
Saki sighed. It was like water off a duck's back or pee off a frog's face!
♥ "Let me meet him."
"No way."
"Well, why not?"
"Where to start?"
They were enjoying the snappy back-and-forth.
"Is he too frivolous?"
"No."
"Ah, so he's a 3B?"
"What's that?"
"Guys who are charming but make terrible boyfriends-bartender, beautician and band member."
"No."
"So, he's a 3F!"
"3F?"
"Fitness instructor, fireman, fisherman."
♥ "But what's really strange is the thought of dying is not scary..."
That can't be true! Why are you crying then!
She couldn't say it though. In place of words, a flurry of tears poured from her eyes.
"What scares me..."
Yukika paused to take a big sniff.
"...is just tat I'm worried that you will forget how to smile when I die..."
.."Yukika..."
It was then that Reiko realized...
I've been mistaken.
If the tables had been reversed...
I would not have been afraid of dying, but I definitely would not want Yukika to suffer over my death.
Reiko realized that Yukika was feeling exactly the same way.
I can't change the fact of Yukika's death...
But I can live in a way that won't cause Yukika sorrow!
A large tear fell from Reiko's eye.
Sisters with the same sentiment.
Then Reiko understood.
What if the tables were turned?
If I had died, and Yukika was mourning my death, the one in deepest despar... would be me.
I wouldn't have broken off my engagement with Mamoru, which had made Yukika so happy...
For Yukika's sake, I mustn't be unhappy...
♥ "Thank you for having me," Miki had told her mother, and these words of hers gave Kei an energy that we call hope.
Inside every person is an inherent capability to make it through any kind of difficulty. Everyone has that energy. But sometimes when that energy flows via our anxiety valve, the flow can be restricted. The greater that anxiety, the greater the strength needed to open the valve and release the energy.
That strength is empowered by hope. You could say that hope is the power to believe in the future.
Miki's words gave Kei that power. Her body gave our after giving birth, but Kei never lost her smile.
Likewise, Reiko was given the hope to live from Yukika. That hope came from the realization that the best way to make Yukika happy was for Reiko to work toward her own happiness.
♥ A night like this one was the best time to view the nightscape from the top of Mt. Hakodate.
There are several stories that are told about the nightscape from Mt. Hakodate. One tells of a jinx that "if you propose while looking at the nightscape from Mt. Hakodate, you will split up." Such jinx stories are told across Japan. In Tokyo, couples who ride a boat on the pond of the renowned Inokashira Park will not last long together; in Miyagi Prefecture, lovers who cross the Fukuura Bridge in Matsushima will break up. Other places with the jinx related to couples splitting up include the Tsurugaoka Hachimangu Shinto shrine in Kamakura, Kanagawa Prefecture, due to the tale of Lady Shizuka Gozen developing a grudge from getting torn from her lover, the military commander Yoshitsune, by the shogun Minamoto no Yoritomo according to one theory, and the jealousy of the shogun's wife, Hojo Masako, according to another. Mt. Hakodate falls into that category of place, perhaps reflecting its image as a sightseeing spot for tourists.
Another story is that when you view a nightscape from Mt. Hakodate, you can find hearts hidden in the nightscape. There are several versions of this story including, "if you find three hearts, you will find happiness," and "your wish will come true." Though of course, no evidence has come to light to support any of those stories.
♥ The colloquial term from windblown snow on a cloudless day is wind flowers. True to that description, the snowflakes fall like flower petals dancing in the wind.
♥ That's really great. He realized tat no matter how difficult life seemed, it could be completely turned around by a single epiphany.
♥ "Well, I'll be off..."
After another polite bow of the head Reiko left the café, with a look of sweet sorrow.
DA-DING-DONG... DA-DING
The bell seemed to ring a lonely chime for a long time.
♥ It was not that Saki had avoided Reiko because she didn't like her. In fact, Saki was probably feeling the saddest of them all about Reiko leaving Hakodate. But it was Reiko's decision. Saki wanted to see her off with a smile, but feeling unable to, she had hidden instead.
Taking a slurp of her now-cold coffee, she said, "By the way, how was Miki?" purposely changing the subject. She was also terrible with the awkward tension that follows after someone has parted.
♥ As soon as she made that comparison, she realized her feelings for Reiji.
That was why she changed her lipstick that day. She had decided to take a step forward in their relationship. But alas... bad timing sometimes causes life to skew off in a different direction. And that was exactly what had happened. Just at the moment Nanako was about to take the courageous step forward to confirm her own feelings, Reiji's phone chimed.
It was the email saying that he had passed the audition. If only that email had arrived an hour later, even maybe several minutes later, the two might now be in a different relationship. As soon as he had read it, it drowned out whatever was buzzing in his heart that day.
It was merely bad timing. Without confirming their feelings for each other, one had left for Tokyo while the other, for America. They were too far apart.
♥ "Um, is it really true that while back in the past, you can't change the present, no matter how hard you try?" Reiji asked Yukari after the customer had left. He had been beside them while she had explained the rules. Until that day, he had never heard a proper telling.
"That's right."
"What use is that chair if you can't change the present? I cannot see the point," he opined candidly. In fact, he suspected the customer who had just given up on traveling to the past and left had done so upon hearing that rule.
"Hmm, it might be pointless, I guess." Yukari didn't argue. "But some things can change, even if the present reality doesn't."
"What can change when nothing changes?" Reiji asked in return. Just saying the words clearly sounded like a contradiction. "What do you mean?"
..Reiji thought about it logically. Something had changed, but if the "reality" that Yukari was talking about referred to the relationship between them, it was as she said, unchanged.
"No, the reality hasn't changed."
"Then, what has changed?"
"Are you talking about feelings?"
A stirring of the heart is a fact.
♥ "This." She held out the book to Reiji. "Nanako asked me to return to you."
"Ah."
As Reiji took the book, he remembered. Indeed, it had been Reiji's book originally. He had lent it to Nanako and ever since, Sachi had been using it. Reiji had forgotten such details, but Nanako wanted to make sure what she had borrowed was returned. It was not at all out of character for someone as diligent as Nanako to want to do this, but Reiji thought there was more to it. Into that simple action of returning a borrowed item, he read a message: I may never see you again. He couldn't help thinking that had been on Nanako's mind.
♥ Reiji spent the entire time traveling back in time thinking about One Hundred Questions.
He thought of the many questions it asked.
Whether you would return something borrowed.
Whether you would cash in the ten-million-yen lottery ticket you won.
Whether you would go ahead and hold the wedding ceremony.
The more he thought about the questions, he found them to be realistic scenarios that could occur in anyone's life.
What caused a sense of urgency about the questions was the unrealistic premise of if the world were to end tomorrow added to each question.
It made Reiji ponder.
People never know when they are going to die. In fact, Yayoi Seto's parents were killed in a car crash, Setsuko had died from illness. Even Yukika, whom he'd worked with, had left this world just a month after being hospitalized.
Nobody can really be certain that they'll see tomorrow.
Reiji was now realizing how important the ordinary life that we take for granted is and how much happiness can be experienced from having someone you care about by your side.
Things that you put off saying until tomorrow are sometimes never said.
After coming back from Tokyo, Reiji realized how important Nanako's presence in his life was-he had been taking her for granted.
Reiji's tomorrow had still not passed.
Nanako was still alive.
It would be too late tomorrow, when the world ended.
But in this world that was not going to end, maybe what he needed to do now was to be honest about his feelings. He needed to forget everyone else and just tell the person who was important to him what needed to be said.
Perhaps that book is meant to remind us of those things that should be obvious?
Nanako was still alive. He, fortunately, had this café in his life. Even if the reality back in the present could not be changed, there was till something he could do now.
There are feelings that should be conveyed regardless of the future. That was why Reiji thought that he would go back to see Nanako even if the world were to end tomorrow.
♥ We've been together ever since I can remember.
We went to the same preschool, the same kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, high school and now university.
Being together was normal-I've just taken it for granted.
I've never even questioned why we were together...
When did I develop these feelings for her?
When did she develop feelings for me?
Come to think of it, I've never heard about her ever having a boyfriend.
Even though some of my male friends considered Nanako to be attractive, I always thought of her differently.
Becoming a comedian was something I have dreamed of for a long, long time.
I had already decided on going to Tokyo in middle school when I first thought of becoming a comedian.
But hang on a sec.
Was I planning on going to Tokyo alone?
Was I going to live away from Nanako?
We have been together forever...
We went to the same preschool...
The same kindergarten...elementary school...middle school...high school...university...and then Tokyo...
I've always taken it for granted that we have been together.
I've never once thought it was odd that we were always together.
Hang on...
Perhaps I've always liked Nanako. I've just always taken it for granted and simply never questioned it. Maybe my dream ad Nanako are inseparable.
I never thought anything of it... I never thought to question it...
Well, I'm going to fix that...
♥ "You..."
"I don't want to hear."
"You became my wife."
"Shut up!"
As she was yelling with hands on her ears, Nanako's eyes reduced to dots.
"Huh?"
"You, become, my, wife."
Reiji repeated himself, purposely articulating each word separately.
"That's a lie, right?"
"Why would I lie about that?
But I am...
"What about my disease?"
"What disease?"
"I found a donor."
"You go to America."
No one knows the future.
"I go, and?"
"You go, come back and become my wife."
After all...
"Huh?"
"Congratulations."
I'm free to say anything. Because my future, our future is ahead of us.
"Why?"
"Why? I want to ask that too."
And because...
"What do you want to ask?"
"Well, you're the one who insisted we get married, you see?"
...whatever I say is not going to change reality back in the present.
"I never said anything of the sort!"
"But you do! In the future!"
"Oh, no way would I say that!"
"But you did!"
"You're absolutely lying!"
"Would anyone say something so embarrassing in a lie!"
Would anyone say anything so embarrassing unless they were lying!
"I'm not laughing."
"I'm used to that."
"What?"
"But in spite of that, I'm not going to discard my dream. I'll never throw it away. So, I'll go to Tokyo. Life without enough food might continue. But unfortunately for you, you become my wife. I'm saying it happens, so it will happen!"
After saying all this in one burst, Reiji stopped to take a breath.
"That's why..." he continued.
"Just quit it, already!"
I want to do my best and always be with you, is basically what he said.
♥ "What's your answer to the last question, Reiji?"
Reiji remembered. It was the question Nanako chose number two for her answer because "dying is scary." Reiji gave his reply while his consciousness was fading.
"I choose 'one.' I'd go ahead and be born."
"Number one? Why?"
"I'd be happy to be born, even for only one day if one day was all I had."
Reiji's body became shrouded in steam.
"If I get born, then who knows what the future will be? No one really knows. Maybe the world doesn't end at all. That's why I choose number one."
"Oh, okay," said Nanako. "Well, I do too."
♥ Sachi had chosen to give her most favorite book as a going-away gift for Reiji.
"Are you sure?"
"Uh-huh," Sachi responded with a smile.
Reiji flicked through several pages of the book. It being her very favorite, she had no doubt taken good care of it. But nevertheless, the pages were a little dirty around the edges from being read over and over. It clearly was a book that she loved and cherished.
"That was the book that led to Sachi's love of books, wasn't it, Sachi?" interjected Kazu.
"Yes," Sachi replied joyfully.
"But this book is so precious to you..." Reiji said, looking at her directly.
Sachi looked directly back at Reiji.
"Well, I read that when you give a gift to someone who is striving to achieve their dreams, you have to give them the most cherished thing you have. Some days, that person who is chasing their dreams will not be able to find the strength to keep going. It will be bitter and painful, and they will have to weigh up their dreams and reality to make a choice. When that happens, the person gifted with the most precious thing will be able to fight on a little more. It apparently helps them to feel they are not alone. So, I'm giving you this book because I want you to fight for your dream."
♥ The afterword on the last page of What if the World Were Ending Tomorrow? One Hundred Questions that Reiji had read until it had become old and tattered said as follows:
Something I strongly believe is that we mustn't allow the death of a person to be the cause of unhappiness. The reason for that is simple: if we let everyone who dies be a cause for unhappiness, that would mean people are being born to become unhappy. But the opposite in fact is true. People are always born to the sake of happiness.
Yukari Tokita, Author.