i cant stop thinking about him!
These last few days havent been the easiest on me...all i can do is think about bailey and wat he would be doin if he were here...It hurts my heart so much to know that he is really gone...and to tell u the truth i still dont think i have fully grasped the idea that he isnt here nemore...i find my self looking at my phone constantly to make sure i dont have ne missed calls from him, i find myself looking outside at his apartment to see if i see him or his car, i find myself goin to the meat department of rouses just to see if its all a big joke and he was just messing with us...even tho i know its not really all that possible...Yesterday was really hard for me...I saw his family come to his apartment and move everything out of it...and his dad was in his car...it looked so much like him...i just broke down...i saw that and fell to my knees and began to cry hysterically...its like no matter what i do i cant ease my mind of his death...because everytime i look outside my house i see his apartment...its like so terrible...today kiela,sara,mandi and i were in the band room and mr shepherd started to talk about him...i had to fight back the tears...adn i fel so bad for crystal...i cant even imagine goin thru wat she must be goin thru right now...but the thing is i cry cuz hes gone...but not as much as i cry about the fun times we had with bailey...everytime i think about him it just brings a smile on my face and then its like thats never goin to happen again...and i cry...So i just think about all the good things like when he was goin like 100 to get me home on time and freakin out the whole way because he didnt wanna get stopped and his parents to get mad but he didnt want my dad not to trust him if i wasnt home on time...he was so sweet...put himself on the line for me...i didnt think as much of it then as i do now...Or the time him and ryan came here and drank all my milk like usual and ate all my cookies...lol i had so much fun with him...and how he would laugh like kiela said was truly unique...so fun loving and happy...like he had not a care in the world...no matter wat ill never forget him or his laugh...its so funny because everyone keeps coimin up to me and telin me how lucky i was to be around him cuz he was sexy...it just made me laugh when i read kielas entry and she said how he was confident and he knew people wanted him around because when ppl told him he was hot he was like i know huh! and it just brought a smile on my face...And ill never forget the time we went to get ryan a porno for his birthday and bailey was so scared to go into digglers because he didnt want ne1 to see him there that new him mom or dad...and to see his face so scared but wanting to go at the same was the cutest thing ever...his little nervous laugh...it was so sexy...ill so miss him! well i gtg i need to stop talkin about him it make me sad...luv u guys!