(no subject)
Things have been more up and down than ever. I don’t know why. What have I done to shift the stability I had attained? Constructing this life for myself over time and through dedication…one moment can shatter it all to bits. Right now I’m sitting in English class. I can’t work. As soon as I’m out of class I’m running over to get my film processed, then I’m off to math class, then afterwards I’m picking up my film, heading over to the darkroom, making contact sheets and printing. All I really want to do is sleep though, it’s all I can think about most of the time.
Making a list of all I have to do just stresses me out even more. Though my list appears small and fairly simple, each task is rather daunting and it going to eat up a huge amount of time. I’m hoping that after Thursday this stress will subside and I’ll be able to breathe again. I’m hoping it is just the stress that is bringing this side out of me again. If it’s not…well I don’t know what I’ll do.
Shawn, Max, Evan, and Devin start their lease today. It’s very exciting but kind of scary at the same time. I hope I don’t lose touch with them…I know I’ll see them, but I also know things just won’t be the same. Hopefully they will be different in a better way. It is exciting though, everyone is growing up and getting their own places. It’s weird to think this is my last year of being a teenager. I’m going to be 20 next year….20. That’s old…at least to me. I don’t feel as old as I am but I suppose I’m not alone in this. All the same, growing up is weird….so weird.
I just feel like I’m always one step behind...I can’t catch my breath. I know I’m not the only one but still…let me off of this speeding bike for just one second so I can fill my lungs and take off again…I promise I’ll peddle on.
Making a list of all I have to do just stresses me out even more. Though my list appears small and fairly simple, each task is rather daunting and it going to eat up a huge amount of time. I’m hoping that after Thursday this stress will subside and I’ll be able to breathe again. I’m hoping it is just the stress that is bringing this side out of me again. If it’s not…well I don’t know what I’ll do.
Shawn, Max, Evan, and Devin start their lease today. It’s very exciting but kind of scary at the same time. I hope I don’t lose touch with them…I know I’ll see them, but I also know things just won’t be the same. Hopefully they will be different in a better way. It is exciting though, everyone is growing up and getting their own places. It’s weird to think this is my last year of being a teenager. I’m going to be 20 next year….20. That’s old…at least to me. I don’t feel as old as I am but I suppose I’m not alone in this. All the same, growing up is weird….so weird.
I just feel like I’m always one step behind...I can’t catch my breath. I know I’m not the only one but still…let me off of this speeding bike for just one second so I can fill my lungs and take off again…I promise I’ll peddle on.