the boat
so last evening i had the pleasure of going to 'the boat' in kensington market, and i now feel that my ultra hip and coolness rating has skyrocketed. for all of you who are so unhip that you don't know what the boat is, it's a dance club that is tucked away above a dingy hardware store that plays do-wop music from the '50s and '60s, and has a very nautical theme to it (ships windows lining the walls, etc.). so why is this place so popular? well, i've heard rumours that dan akroyd owns it, so how could it not be. apparently dan akroyd is there all the time, he's a major coke head, he has really bad breath, and will hit on anything. yes, dan akroyd, the guy who won our hearts as Elwood Blues, and made us fall in love with him allover again with his inspiring piece 'christmas with the kranks'. i kept my eye out, but unfortunately didn't spot him last night. anyways, we got there around 11something, and there was a nice lineup outside, filled with girls in polka dot dresses and guys saying 'daddy-o' and snapping their fingers. they kept us standing in the same spot for about half an hour. i was about ready to go home when the door guy made our night and allowed us to enter. by that point i really wanted to see what all the buzz was about. i go up and realize that there is a $5 cover, in my drunken, and somehow incredibly rational state, i felt that a $5 cover charge so that i can go listen to some dude put cds in a cd player and buy overpriced beer was unacceptable, so instead of stopping at the cover table i just walked on by and was lost in the crowd. the cover charge guys did notice me, but fortunately there were enough people just dying to pay cover, so they were too busy to stop me, and maybe just didn't really care. i proceeded to get more drunk on crappy expensive beer. at one point i was standing in line at the bar, and some girl was pushing her way to the front. at that point in time, i felt like the most appropriate thing to do would be to stick out my elbow and give her a good little jab as she was pushing me. well, turns out that she was a waitress there, and it was her right to go to the front of the bar. on her way back, she gave me a good little push. based on this experience, i believe that bar staff should get a designated pathway to the bar. i also discovered how fun pushing can be. so i danced a bit to songs like "who wrote the book of love" and other oldies but goodies, talked to some boring people, pushed a few more people just for fun, and then we headed out to get some chinese food. the food was tastey. i just ate the leftovers. they feel good in my woozy stomach. i think from now on i'm going to avoid dance clubs, except for ones that dan akroyd is part owner of.