[pseuicide is painless. it brings on many changes.]
in the wake of the sv wank, the meme of the moment is proving that you are real? or that if you are not real, there are many, many other people lying with you? something like that. which, on one hand i have met roughly five bazillion people off of my flist (and spend time regularly with a whole whack of them & they have been to my apartment or my office or know where my parents live and all that), and if i -haven't- met them, i've met someone else who has. mostly. on the other hand... maybe you're all my sockpuppets and i just have a really amazing imagination and a shitload of free time. on a third hand, i have this post, which falls somewhere in between the... uh... first two hands.
1) My middle name is Ethel-Abyssinia-Amanda-Miranda-Rufus. Which has a sort of a ring to it, you must admit.
2) My first celeb-crush was Mr. Ed, when I was seven. I drew wedding invitations and sent them to all of the neighbors' My Little Ponies.
3) I live two giant steps to the north of first star to the right and straight on till morning. Except on Thursdays, when the answer is the Oslo branch of Kinko's.
4) I am afraid of radioactive dust mites, underwear, and bamboo flooring. But aren't we all?
5) I smoke a corncob pipe, and only after particularly intense episodes of Judge Judy.
6) I drink carrot juice through my eyelids.
7) I have one third of a sibling. She is all that remains of my conjoined twin.
8) I have one child, the love child of Alan Cumming. The others I took to Wal-Mart in a box and sold to fund my rock-and-roll lifestyle.
9) One of my favorite things to do is snort chalk dust and then throw pottery.
10) I have no piercings, due to a pledge made to my fifth-grade math teacher on her deathbed. I have one tattoo of the aforementioned fifth-grade math teacher (no, you cannot see where), and another of a wallaby behind my right ear. His name is Henry and he gives me advice. Sometimes I even take it.
11) My favorite type of music is Reggae Jesus Death Polka. Jesus, of course, pronounced with a Spanish accent.
12) My favorite TV show is Cribs. I've worn out the tape of the episode with Ice-T.
13) My favorite animal is Jian Ghomeshi.
14) I hate middling altitudes. Everything below 500 feet and above 2500 is fine, though. Also, I hate nailpolish and big pants.
15) A talent I have is being able to perform most typical daily tasks (brushing my teeth, putting on mascara, frying an egg) with my toes.
16) I have a pet iguana named Mortimer who mostly likes to lie really still on the back of my sofa and then move suddenly to startle guests. He likes to do this because I like it too, and then I praise him and give him cat food.
17) Right now I dating the Seattle Mariners. They keep me pretty busy, so that's another reason why I don't have time to invent sockpuppets.
18) I initially studied halibut in school, but now I am writing a doctorate in folk history based on analysis of "This Little Piggy".
19) My religion alternates between pudding and Scientology.
20) My superpower is the ability to win any ghetto dance-off. I am thinking of changing my middle name to "Bootylicious". Or "Twatwaffle".
(thanks to all who played. that was a lot of fun. and you are all nuts :) )
but seriously, when i die, shinyredtype will be the first to know, for she will be all "why you not on gchat, bitch? and whyfor do you ignore my texting? angst! woe! tragedy!"
yup. just like that. and then she'll send the remaining local stitchybitches & assorted significant others 'round to my apartment where they will find i choked on dinner a week ago and my rats are weeping into their litter. and you should send them all ipods and glitter pens, because that will not be a fun experience for anyone. especially for the rats.
but now, instead of choking to death, i am just going to to to bed.
ps new on threadless - rampaging robot inna suit! i think i want the long sleeve version. robots!
1) My middle name is Ethel-Abyssinia-Amanda-Miranda-Rufus. Which has a sort of a ring to it, you must admit.
2) My first celeb-crush was Mr. Ed, when I was seven. I drew wedding invitations and sent them to all of the neighbors' My Little Ponies.
3) I live two giant steps to the north of first star to the right and straight on till morning. Except on Thursdays, when the answer is the Oslo branch of Kinko's.
4) I am afraid of radioactive dust mites, underwear, and bamboo flooring. But aren't we all?
5) I smoke a corncob pipe, and only after particularly intense episodes of Judge Judy.
6) I drink carrot juice through my eyelids.
7) I have one third of a sibling. She is all that remains of my conjoined twin.
8) I have one child, the love child of Alan Cumming. The others I took to Wal-Mart in a box and sold to fund my rock-and-roll lifestyle.
9) One of my favorite things to do is snort chalk dust and then throw pottery.
10) I have no piercings, due to a pledge made to my fifth-grade math teacher on her deathbed. I have one tattoo of the aforementioned fifth-grade math teacher (no, you cannot see where), and another of a wallaby behind my right ear. His name is Henry and he gives me advice. Sometimes I even take it.
11) My favorite type of music is Reggae Jesus Death Polka. Jesus, of course, pronounced with a Spanish accent.
12) My favorite TV show is Cribs. I've worn out the tape of the episode with Ice-T.
13) My favorite animal is Jian Ghomeshi.
14) I hate middling altitudes. Everything below 500 feet and above 2500 is fine, though. Also, I hate nailpolish and big pants.
15) A talent I have is being able to perform most typical daily tasks (brushing my teeth, putting on mascara, frying an egg) with my toes.
16) I have a pet iguana named Mortimer who mostly likes to lie really still on the back of my sofa and then move suddenly to startle guests. He likes to do this because I like it too, and then I praise him and give him cat food.
17) Right now I dating the Seattle Mariners. They keep me pretty busy, so that's another reason why I don't have time to invent sockpuppets.
18) I initially studied halibut in school, but now I am writing a doctorate in folk history based on analysis of "This Little Piggy".
19) My religion alternates between pudding and Scientology.
20) My superpower is the ability to win any ghetto dance-off. I am thinking of changing my middle name to "Bootylicious". Or "Twatwaffle".
(thanks to all who played. that was a lot of fun. and you are all nuts :) )
but seriously, when i die, shinyredtype will be the first to know, for she will be all "why you not on gchat, bitch? and whyfor do you ignore my texting? angst! woe! tragedy!"
yup. just like that. and then she'll send the remaining local stitchybitches & assorted significant others 'round to my apartment where they will find i choked on dinner a week ago and my rats are weeping into their litter. and you should send them all ipods and glitter pens, because that will not be a fun experience for anyone. especially for the rats.
but now, instead of choking to death, i am just going to to to bed.
ps new on threadless - rampaging robot inna suit! i think i want the long sleeve version. robots!