Title: Origins
Gift: Fic and Fic Song
Recipient:
afrakadayPairing/Characters: Sharon O'Dwyer, Andrea Hobbs, Andrea/Sharon, Andy Flynn and Jackson Raydor as minor supporting characters
Rating: K for all chapters except for Chapter 3, which is MA
Word Count: 42,000 total (divided among 7 Chapters and an Epilogue)
Synopsis: Sharon O'Dwyer and Andrea Hobbs' challenging childhoods prepare them for meeting one another in college. Growing together and apart, they mature and age, up to present day.
Trigger Warning: PTSD and gun violence in Chapter 5
Disclaimer: Not my characters or television show
A/N: This was written for the 3rd Annual Gift Exchange at
majorcrimes. Thank you
defyingnormalcy for her beta and for shepherding me through the process of writing and posting my first ever fanfic. This gift is primarily a fic, but in the Epilogue, there's a link to an original song that one character writes for the other.
afrakaday, based on your requests, this is backstory, AU romantic history, and Andrea/Sharon. Happy holidays and happy new year!
EPILOGUE
It had been over two years since Andrea had reentered her life, and Sharon couldn't have been happier.
They didn't live together, but any daytime or nighttime moment that their stressful jobs could spare, they spent in one another's company.
Andrea's lease was up soon and they'd talked about the possibility of having her move in with Sharon. After all, Sharon's kids were grown and her condo had more than enough space for two people who relished each other's company so much.
"Besides..." Sharon had cooed into Andrea's ear one night when Andrea wished she could stay over but didn't want to risk driving home in morning traffic before work. "...It'll be like the old days." Sharon had her arms wrapped around Andrea, from behind. As she talked, her breath warmed the back of Andrea's neck, pleasantly reminding Andrea of their physical proximity. "We'd share this bedroom, but we could also turn my spare bedroom into a shared space."
"Where we do our homework and studying?"
Sharon snorted softly, then realized Andrea's nostalgic joke wasn't that far from what Sharon intended. "Actually, yes. We could set up a little home office in there. It'll be a lot more fun to do late night paperwork if we can play footsie under the table."
"Agreed," Andrea chuckled, fondly remembering their youth and now imagining a never-ending study date with Sharon O'Dwyer.
✢✢✢✢✢
After thirty years of service, Sharon was ready to hang up her uniform.
She walked into Chief Pope's office to tell him she was moving on. Sure, part of it was her distaste for having to be the unpopular babysitter for Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson and her unruly Major Crimes department, but the part she didn’t plan to share explicitly was that if she had a private sector job, her hours could become more predictable, and she'd be able to spend more off-duty time with a certain DDA.
As it was, since crimes and cases never happened on a schedule, they each had unexpected late nights, or entire weeks of great intensity. Unless they happened to be working on the same case, this left them, all too often, passing like ships in the night. So, Sharon had sent her resume out. The most attractive offer that had come back was as Director of Internal Threats and Corporate Security at the LA Convention Center.
Now, as Sharon stood in Chief Pope's office, she informed him and Commander Taylor that she was leaving.
Chief Pope tried to convince her that she was appreciated.
Sharon explained, "I walk into a room, it goes silent. I can’t say hello to anyone outside the Professional Standards Bureau without provoking a defensive response. Between that and a few things in my personal life…" Sharon remained oblique about the details. "I feel that it’s time."
✢✢✢✢✢
Andrea suggested that they go to Andrea's storage unit together, so she could show Sharon what kinds of furniture she still had, and they could identify whether Andrea should sell it all or keep some for Sharon's condo. They had a couple of months until Andrea would be moving in, but they were both excited to take steps forward in the meantime.
Andrea told Sharon the punch code and Sharon leaned out her drivers' side window to enter it. They drove slowly into the complex and parked in front of Andrea's unit. Andrea twisted the dial on her padlock, then reached down to the bottom of the metal roll-up door. "Ready?" Andrea asked nervously, looking back over her shoulder at Sharon, who was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, in case they needed to move boxes to access some of the pieces.
Sharon nodded, squinting her eyes at Andrea curiously, surmising that Andrea must have some shocking furniture pieces if she was nervous about revealing them.
Andrea pushed up on the metal door.
Leaning against a stack of cardboard boxes were two familiar sights: two old but well-kept bicycles, happily nestled against one another.
Sharon gasped, staring at the bikes.
Andrea smiled, staring at Sharon.
"How did you...Why did you..."
Andrea moved to stand beside Sharon, holding Sharon's hand, and joining her in staring at the time-capsuled objects. "When you left school, you left so hurriedly. We packed one night and you were gone by dawn..."
"I remember." Sharon spoke over Andrea’s words, somberly.
"...You didn't mention what to do with your bike, and I didn't want to say anything. Why should they have to break up, just because we were?"
"So you kept them?"
"Mmmhmm. All these years. They stayed in Montreal in Grandma's garage while I was in Europe. But then I kept them with me in every garage or storage unit I ever had. Avery encouraged me to get rid of them, more than once, but I just couldn't. They were a memory of you. A memory of us."
"Did you ever ride them?" Sharon remembered seeing Andrea's high-end road bike, hanging on ceiling pegs just inside the entrance to Andrea's current apartment.
"Not once."
"Shall we see if they still work?" Sharon chirped playfully, lifting her shoulders in a shrug of curiosity and adventure.
✢✢✢✢✢
Just days before Andrea's move-in date and weeks before Sharon’s scheduled job transition to the private sector, Sharon was offered an unexpected position: head of the Major Crimes division. For someone who had spent the last decades of her career in Internal Affairs, it was unusual - and an honor - to be given the opportunity to manage a field-based operation.
She'd be replacing the outgoing Brenda Leigh Johnson, who had left the force in a flaming blaze of glory. Carnage remained: lawsuits against the city and the LAPD, assaults both given and received, and an orphan who was a key witness in an upcoming trial.
Andrea had worked on too many officer involved shootings to unthinkingly sign-off on Sharon returning to a non-internal department.
With a playful dramatism, Sharon crossed her arms, raised her eyebrows, and reminded Andrea, "no one has even tried to shoot me in decades. Although…” she bobbed her head to one side, with a teasing acquiescence, “...there were probably more than a few disgruntled subjects of FID investigations who would have jumped at the chance if they'd still had their sidearms." Sharon uncrossed her arms and reached for Andrea’s hips with both hands. Sharon’s eyes revealed a penetrating affection, and a cheeky righteousness. "You, my love, were shot at much more recently than me."
Enough time had passed that Andrea and Sharon were able to lightly reference the incident. Of course, Sharon still shuddered at the memory, and Andrea still had PTSD she was working through with a therapist. Sharon couldn't bear the thought of Andrea being in mortal danger, ever again. That's why she could sympathize with Andrea's feelings now. If their positions were reversed and Andrea had wanted to take a more dangerous job, Sharon would protest, just as strongly, calling on every lawyerly instinct left in her body.
Andrea could tell Sharon wanted to take the job. It was clear that after years of being on the inside, but being treated like she was on the outside, Sharon had a pent up desire to get her hands dirty and finally do things the way she saw fit. She had some novel ideas about how to partner with the DA’s office to make deals with suspects before ever going to court. Sharon hated the way the justice system put an emotional burden on the witnesses and victims; the process was also incredibly costly to the city. And sometimes, even after a lengthy trial that required victims to put themselves and their trauma on the stand, the prosecuted party would go free or receive a slap on the wrist instead of a true consequence. All of that was why Sharon wanted to take control of Major Crimes and start instituting new procedures that could save money for the city, and save victims from the indignity and retraumatization of testifying. Also, Sharon seemed to think that a Commandership might even be in her future.
So, after multiple late night discussions, after lots of scenario-planning around how they could spend more quality time together despite what was certain to be a more demanding job, and after many assurances from Sharon that her team would be on the front lines and she'd really just be the supervisor who administered and brought up the rear, Andrea agreed to Sharon taking the job, but on one condition. "If you ever do go out in the field, you have to bring your beanbag gun." They both laughed.
They decided to put Andrea's move on pause until Sharon got through the work transition. They figured that after a week or maybe two, Sharon would get a free weekend and they'd take the time to move Andrea's stuff in. In the meantime, Andrea brought over a small load of possessions, each evening she came over. It was a symbolic gesture of their ever entwining worlds.
✢✢✢✢✢
It was Sharon's last night leading FID. In the morning, she would officially start as the head of Major Crimes, with a department of personnel who were predisposed to dislike and resent her after her multi-year feud with their beloved former leader. Sharon was realistic and trepidatious, yet determined to earn the respect of the team.
As Sharon and Andrea made dinner in Sharon’s kitchen, Sharon brainstormed management strategies and Andrea made suggestions. Realizing she was as prepared as she possibly could be, Sharon vowed to stop thinking and talking about work for the rest of the night. Just like when she’d been a precocious school kid, she took comfort in the fact that she’d done all the prepping she could, and now, she just needed to eat well and sleep well before the big test.
After dinner, they sat on the couch, curled together, sharing silence. Sharon’s eyes passed lazily over Andrea's possessions, tucked neatly under Sharon's living room desk. Sharon said softly, her eyes resting on Andrea’s guitar case, "You know, you've still never let me hear you play."
“I’ve never let anyone hear me.”
“Isn’t the point of musical expression to be able to share it with others?”
“Not necessarily. For me, it’s about connecting with myself.”
“Like writing?”
“Yes, exactly. It’s introspective. It’s a way of talking to my soul.”
“I understand. And I respect how deeply personal it is,” Sharon smiled gently, letting her lips brush Andrea’s shoulder. “I was always honored when you chose to share snippets of your art with me. Remember our Art Dates in the backyard? I’d let you see my sketches sometimes, even though I was shy. And I was grateful each time you read me your poetry.”
“I do remember,” Andrea mused reflectively, stroking Sharon’s forearm with her thumb. “You’re the only person in the world, before or since, who I’ve ever been that vulnerable with.”
“I know what you mean,” Sharon whispered, leaning the side of her head against the back of the couch, letting herself relax into their loving eye contact.
Andrea sighed with resolve, “I want to share a song with you now.”
"Really?" Sharon lifted her head, genuinely shocked. She tried to hide her delight, not wanting to make Andrea more nervous.
"I’ve never sung for a lover before. And I've warned you, I don't play well. I just strum a few chords." Despite Andrea's qualifications and attempts to lower expectations, she got up from the couch, opened her case, and returned, perching the instrument on her knee.
"What are you going to play?" Sharon sat up, as eager as a child about to be given candy.
"No song you've ever heard before," Andrea smiled, cryptically. "But you know the story."
Andrea cleared her throat, strummed, and sang.
Click to view
“We were young, we were lonely
We came together slowly
Slowly for us, I should say
We fell fast, we did it our way
You had it rough, it shaped you
The burdens placed upon you
I wanted nothing more
Than to help you leave that bitter shore
In turn I’d had my losses
I felt the violent forces
Tragedy, tears, and trauma
Thanks to you, I left the drama
I’d never felt so heard
You said I understood
We saw each other and
Loved what we saw, so we held hands
We loved books, we loved to read
We quickly learned to believe
We’d share a life ahead
So we shared our stories, shared a bed
Da-da Da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da Da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
The winter that you left me
I knew it wasn’t about me
Our hearts they parted kindly
You went back to tend your family
I kept our memories in mind
With careful tending and time
I trained myself to move on
Writing my new rhythms and songs
Life hasn’t been some hardship
Where I’ve stayed sad and heartsick
Honestly I learned to be
Relatively happy and free
That said I’ve always wondered
Where you’ve been, where you’ve wandered
I asked the universe
To help you learn to put yourself first
Da-da Da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da Da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Thirty years pass, you call me
I answered shocked, and oddly
Fragments of my own soul
Came rushing back, filled hidden holes
I hadn’t known I missed you
Missed who I am when with you
It only took one hug
To ‘member how it felt to love
My soul had hibernated
Biding its time, it waited
Those first reunion days
The fog it lifted, cleared the haze
I don’t regret my own life
But now I see sacrifice
In having been apart
I lived in only half of my heart
So now I hope you don’t mind
Let’s make the most of our time
You seem to feel the same way
I will treasure every day
Da-da Da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da Da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da”
Sharon had tears in her eyes when Andrea finished her last soothing strum.
"I treasure every day, every moment, too." Sharon nodded. She leaned forward and embraced Andrea, knowing that this time, she'd never let her go.