Non-Ulceric Dyspepsia!
Dear Livejournal/Everone else/Especially Caitlin,
Although I was really quite excited about starting an ulcer club with Emily, it seems my condition is non-ulceric, but by no means troublesomeless. It's also pretty vague. I believe the term "Dyspepsia" when roughly translated into english, means "stomach trouble". So what do I do about this trouble? Nothing fun, I can assure you, by which I mean I'm not allowed to:
-drink
-have caffine
-smoke
-wear tight clothing
-eat large meals
-eat fatty foods
-have mint, chocolate, dairy, tomatoes, citrus fruits, spices, mustard, garlic, or vinegar.
-eat within four hours of bedtime
And I'm supposed to take some pink and black pills (a colour combination I rather like; it reminds me fondly of electroclash) and lose 10-20 pounds, which I can't see being terribly difficult given the rules I'm working under, although I guess really, they're simply the things that we're all supposed to be doing anyhow.
On a lighter note, my blood sugar, heartrate, blood pressure, breasts and other ladyparts are all in perfect shape, and I'm free of many viral and bacterial infections. I have the test results to prove it.
Tonight, instead of my previous plans of going to the Cherry Bank, I'm going to stay home and work on my novel. I expect you'll be seeing a very different Margarita in the upcoming while. I don't know if I'm worried or relieved.
Although I was really quite excited about starting an ulcer club with Emily, it seems my condition is non-ulceric, but by no means troublesomeless. It's also pretty vague. I believe the term "Dyspepsia" when roughly translated into english, means "stomach trouble". So what do I do about this trouble? Nothing fun, I can assure you, by which I mean I'm not allowed to:
-drink
-have caffine
-smoke
-wear tight clothing
-eat large meals
-eat fatty foods
-have mint, chocolate, dairy, tomatoes, citrus fruits, spices, mustard, garlic, or vinegar.
-eat within four hours of bedtime
And I'm supposed to take some pink and black pills (a colour combination I rather like; it reminds me fondly of electroclash) and lose 10-20 pounds, which I can't see being terribly difficult given the rules I'm working under, although I guess really, they're simply the things that we're all supposed to be doing anyhow.
On a lighter note, my blood sugar, heartrate, blood pressure, breasts and other ladyparts are all in perfect shape, and I'm free of many viral and bacterial infections. I have the test results to prove it.
Tonight, instead of my previous plans of going to the Cherry Bank, I'm going to stay home and work on my novel. I expect you'll be seeing a very different Margarita in the upcoming while. I don't know if I'm worried or relieved.