Calling all women, friends of women, women-to-be, children of women...
Oh, let's start this debate up again. I've been pregnant, I have a child, and I had several scares when I was younger. We have surgicaly reduced the risk of pregnancy to near zero, but that's for my husband, not for me. It is easy enough to imagine a violent incident which might make me pregnant. So believe me when I say I've thought a LOT about this.
While I was trying to get pregnant, and while I was pregnant, I wondered if my stance on abortion would change at all after the baby was born. I found that I reached a decision point where I had to pick which way I would go on this argument. It was a very interesting process. On the one hand, I loved and adored my baby more than I thought possible (and still do), but a part of me recognized at the time that it was distinctly a biological drive in me to protect the baby. It was a great deal of work taking care of him on an hour-to-hour basis, and I had a rough and miserable pregnancy, so I realized that anyone who was unprepared to take care of a child shouldn't have one.
This is subtle stuff - most of the people who are on the pro-life side of the debate seem, to me, to be oriented more toward the "love and adore babies" stance, and because of that feeling, that biological drive, are willing to do whatever they feel is necessary to take care of any baby. They also seem to be unable (or maybe unwilling) to put themselves in anyone else's position (ex: single, broke, in low-paying job with no support network), and can't understand that there are people who are NOT willing and/or able to drop everything else in their lives and take care of a baby. Then there's the personal-history side of it - many people DID make that sacrifice, and DID drop everything else in order to take care of a baby, and they want that choice to be seen as valid (i.e. that they made the right choice).
From the pro-choice side, many people on that side of the argument are looking at other factors than that biological drive to love and protect babies, and can't understand people who can't (or won't) do that. I'm sure that in me, at least, this particular skill involves elements of intelligence, education, willpower, and selfishness. I also know that most new mothers re-evaluate this mindset at least subconsciously upon motherhood. Some change their position completely, some strengthen their conviction in their prior position, and some people become deeply ambivalent about the whole issue.
Parenthood is NOT easy. It really is the hardest job around, and you have to start at the hardest end of it with little or no skill. Beautiful, wonderful, tiny, helpless babies have TREMENDOUS power- just looking at babies causes endorphin release, hormone release, and a raft of emotional responses. Instincts are awoken, focus is narrowed, responses are exaggerated, and anxieties raised every time a mother looks at her new baby.
I've run out of steam at the moment - too many work interruptions.
http://msmagazine.com/fall2006/abortionmag.asp
While I was trying to get pregnant, and while I was pregnant, I wondered if my stance on abortion would change at all after the baby was born. I found that I reached a decision point where I had to pick which way I would go on this argument. It was a very interesting process. On the one hand, I loved and adored my baby more than I thought possible (and still do), but a part of me recognized at the time that it was distinctly a biological drive in me to protect the baby. It was a great deal of work taking care of him on an hour-to-hour basis, and I had a rough and miserable pregnancy, so I realized that anyone who was unprepared to take care of a child shouldn't have one.
This is subtle stuff - most of the people who are on the pro-life side of the debate seem, to me, to be oriented more toward the "love and adore babies" stance, and because of that feeling, that biological drive, are willing to do whatever they feel is necessary to take care of any baby. They also seem to be unable (or maybe unwilling) to put themselves in anyone else's position (ex: single, broke, in low-paying job with no support network), and can't understand that there are people who are NOT willing and/or able to drop everything else in their lives and take care of a baby. Then there's the personal-history side of it - many people DID make that sacrifice, and DID drop everything else in order to take care of a baby, and they want that choice to be seen as valid (i.e. that they made the right choice).
From the pro-choice side, many people on that side of the argument are looking at other factors than that biological drive to love and protect babies, and can't understand people who can't (or won't) do that. I'm sure that in me, at least, this particular skill involves elements of intelligence, education, willpower, and selfishness. I also know that most new mothers re-evaluate this mindset at least subconsciously upon motherhood. Some change their position completely, some strengthen their conviction in their prior position, and some people become deeply ambivalent about the whole issue.
Parenthood is NOT easy. It really is the hardest job around, and you have to start at the hardest end of it with little or no skill. Beautiful, wonderful, tiny, helpless babies have TREMENDOUS power- just looking at babies causes endorphin release, hormone release, and a raft of emotional responses. Instincts are awoken, focus is narrowed, responses are exaggerated, and anxieties raised every time a mother looks at her new baby.
I've run out of steam at the moment - too many work interruptions.
http://msmagazine.com/fall2006/abortionmag.asp