Flipped a switch
I think something in my brain has flipped a switch, because I'm now, for the first time, determined to work on the weight-loss thing for the long haul. I've been working on it for a while, but all of the impediments (2007's collapse and surgery, 2006's knee problems, 1998-2001's ankle surgeries, rough pregnancy in 2003, etc), it's been a rough haul. I'm feeling better than I have in a very long time, and have just about conquered my knee problems and torn muscle problem. I'm starting to time walking the dog and walking to/from the bus, and hopefully soon will be able to bike to daycare with Nate. I've dragged out the kitchen scale to weigh portions for myself (which only works so well if Nate steals requests politely half of what I eat and I'm still hungry), and I see food in a different light.
That's the big one - I seem to have changed how I see food. It's not something that I need to eat just because it's there, but instead it is something that I can choose to eat if I'm hungry, or not, if I'm not. It's not anything conscious on my part, but something I've become aware of in the past 2 days. On Monday, I went to a meeting where I knew there would be cookies, and I ate 2 of them, just because they were there. I justified to myself that they would be walked off because I had walked to and from that meeting halfway across campus, and that I got to eat the 2nd one because of how the first one had turned out to be oatmeal raisin instead of chocolate chip. At some point on my walk back, I realized how juvenile and childish that sounded, even just in my head, and decided that enough was enough, it's time to lose the weight.
That's the big one - I seem to have changed how I see food. It's not something that I need to eat just because it's there, but instead it is something that I can choose to eat if I'm hungry, or not, if I'm not. It's not anything conscious on my part, but something I've become aware of in the past 2 days. On Monday, I went to a meeting where I knew there would be cookies, and I ate 2 of them, just because they were there. I justified to myself that they would be walked off because I had walked to and from that meeting halfway across campus, and that I got to eat the 2nd one because of how the first one had turned out to be oatmeal raisin instead of chocolate chip. At some point on my walk back, I realized how juvenile and childish that sounded, even just in my head, and decided that enough was enough, it's time to lose the weight.