Steve's brother sent a birthday card.
So, apparently I should be ashamed of myself.
According to my toxic brother in law, anyhow.
Backstory: This brother was a massive alcoholic for decades. I've seen him be violent to humans and pets. A week after I had a miscarriage he said it was my fault because I had been cheating on Steve. Which, no... And what kind of asshole even says that to someone who is grieving? He has been sober for the past ten years or so, but his personality is still paranoid, misogynistic, arrogant, and ignorant. And that's sugar coating it.
When my husband was first diagnosed with dementia five years ago this brother wanted to have my husband come visit him.
O.... Kay... First off, this guy refuses to give me any contact information for him. I don't know his phone number, or even if he lives in Washington or Idaho. (we have guessed Idaho) And, of course, Steve doesn't remember his brother's phone number or address.
So, when his A-hole brother wanted to have my husband visit him right after the dementia diagnosis, I said I needed to accompany Steve. Nope. The brother refused that. So I suggested that Martin go along instead. Because - #1 my husband even back then couldn't safely do his own meds, and #2 HOLY COW is it ever SKETCH AS HELL to insist your brother with dementia MUST come ALONE to a secret location for an undetermined amount of time .... especially since that brother had recently been awarded VA disability and SSDI that totaled almost 4K per month, and the toxic brother has always lived on welfare and charity.
Oh yeah.... Nothing suspicious about that.
The last conversation they had, where his brother was INSISTING on having my husband come visit alone, and I was holding the line that SOMEONE who knew my husband's meds and other medical issues HAD to accompany him (sooo unreasonable, right?) ended with my husband taking my side and saying I needed to come too, and the brother screaming into the phone that he was never going to contact him again and he could forget that they were even brothers! (Nice guy, right?)
Fast forward to today. Five years later. My husband got a birthday card from this piece of work. It is the second card we've gotten from him in all this time. Neither with a return address on them, of course.
In the card he says I won't give the card to Steve (true, because toxic as hell needs to stay away from my husband) Then he goes on to say I should be ashamed of myself and that GOD WILL JUDGE ME and I will go to hell. Because of what I have done.
Aside from caring for Steve and keeping him safe, I have "done" nothing. I have no idea what he's accusing me of, but I'm sure he's made up a ton of stuff that he's been telling others on that side of the family. Especially since we have heard zero, zilch, nada from any of them for a couple of years.
After ripping me apart, the brother's letter addresses my husband. He says Steve should email him. The brother does say that Steve "isn't good with computers" so he should get someone to help him. LOL Yeah, Steve needs help with the TV remote. There will be no email. Not from Steve, anyhow.
I am half tempted to create an email account in Steve's name and emailing the brother from there pretending to be Steve. Just to see what kind of shit that brother has been saying about me. But I will only dream about that. I won't actually do it.
And no. I'm not giving Steve that card. He never mentions that brother these days, and the things that the brother wrote will only stir up trouble. So I'm going to just ignore it.
According to my toxic brother in law, anyhow.
Backstory: This brother was a massive alcoholic for decades. I've seen him be violent to humans and pets. A week after I had a miscarriage he said it was my fault because I had been cheating on Steve. Which, no... And what kind of asshole even says that to someone who is grieving? He has been sober for the past ten years or so, but his personality is still paranoid, misogynistic, arrogant, and ignorant. And that's sugar coating it.
When my husband was first diagnosed with dementia five years ago this brother wanted to have my husband come visit him.
O.... Kay... First off, this guy refuses to give me any contact information for him. I don't know his phone number, or even if he lives in Washington or Idaho. (we have guessed Idaho) And, of course, Steve doesn't remember his brother's phone number or address.
So, when his A-hole brother wanted to have my husband visit him right after the dementia diagnosis, I said I needed to accompany Steve. Nope. The brother refused that. So I suggested that Martin go along instead. Because - #1 my husband even back then couldn't safely do his own meds, and #2 HOLY COW is it ever SKETCH AS HELL to insist your brother with dementia MUST come ALONE to a secret location for an undetermined amount of time .... especially since that brother had recently been awarded VA disability and SSDI that totaled almost 4K per month, and the toxic brother has always lived on welfare and charity.
Oh yeah.... Nothing suspicious about that.
The last conversation they had, where his brother was INSISTING on having my husband come visit alone, and I was holding the line that SOMEONE who knew my husband's meds and other medical issues HAD to accompany him (sooo unreasonable, right?) ended with my husband taking my side and saying I needed to come too, and the brother screaming into the phone that he was never going to contact him again and he could forget that they were even brothers! (Nice guy, right?)
Fast forward to today. Five years later. My husband got a birthday card from this piece of work. It is the second card we've gotten from him in all this time. Neither with a return address on them, of course.
In the card he says I won't give the card to Steve (true, because toxic as hell needs to stay away from my husband) Then he goes on to say I should be ashamed of myself and that GOD WILL JUDGE ME and I will go to hell. Because of what I have done.
Aside from caring for Steve and keeping him safe, I have "done" nothing. I have no idea what he's accusing me of, but I'm sure he's made up a ton of stuff that he's been telling others on that side of the family. Especially since we have heard zero, zilch, nada from any of them for a couple of years.
After ripping me apart, the brother's letter addresses my husband. He says Steve should email him. The brother does say that Steve "isn't good with computers" so he should get someone to help him. LOL Yeah, Steve needs help with the TV remote. There will be no email. Not from Steve, anyhow.
I am half tempted to create an email account in Steve's name and emailing the brother from there pretending to be Steve. Just to see what kind of shit that brother has been saying about me. But I will only dream about that. I won't actually do it.
And no. I'm not giving Steve that card. He never mentions that brother these days, and the things that the brother wrote will only stir up trouble. So I'm going to just ignore it.