Christmas visit
Well, I screwed up my courage and took Steve, some medlar candy, and a frozen cockerel to my inlaws this evening.
It's been weighing on me. Steve does like to see family. And, unfortunately, I don't exactly trust pretty much everyone on his side of the family anymore. But, it's Christmas, and we haven't seen Steve's brother and wife in a very long time.
The visit was nice enough. But I know that both of these people are completely capable of being nice to your face and trashing you behind your back.
I brought a card that was specific to "Brother's family" and how much we think of them all year long, and wish them well every day. I'm sure that's close enough to true for Steve.
His brother's first words to Steve were "You look perfectly cogent!" LOL. Yes. He looks cogent.
We settled in the living room for a visit that lasted about an hour. Captain D'Bag kept overspeaking his wife, and dominating the conversation. Oh well. That's just what he does. Eventually Sister-in-law and I just split the conversation and D'bag and Steve went off in a different vein. After a few minutes, however, Steve was confused about something, and was insisting on his point, and D'bag was practically turning himself inside out trying to convince Steve he was mistaken. And yes, Steve was mistaken. It was a small point. Not something someone who wasn't compromised would ever be confused about. Steve was unshakable, however. And his brother had to just drop it.
Steve also repeated the same points about a mutual friend a couple of times. And was obviously confused about the marital status of another mutual friend who happens to be in Steve's band. Maybe brother and sister-in-law will recognize these things as symptoms of dementia? Maybe not.
Anyhow, the visit itself went well enough.
I told sister-in-law that it's hard for me to socialize but that I wanted to put more effort into it for Steve's sake. And I specifically requested that Brother-in-Law and Steve have lunch together every couple of months. Or some other social activity. Perhaps share a beer? That sort of thing. Sister-In-Law said I would have to pester Brother-In-Law more directly for that. Which, in one way, really sucks. But, it's true. If it's what I'd like to try, then the ball is absolutely in my court.
It's been weighing on me. Steve does like to see family. And, unfortunately, I don't exactly trust pretty much everyone on his side of the family anymore. But, it's Christmas, and we haven't seen Steve's brother and wife in a very long time.
The visit was nice enough. But I know that both of these people are completely capable of being nice to your face and trashing you behind your back.
I brought a card that was specific to "Brother's family" and how much we think of them all year long, and wish them well every day. I'm sure that's close enough to true for Steve.
His brother's first words to Steve were "You look perfectly cogent!" LOL. Yes. He looks cogent.
We settled in the living room for a visit that lasted about an hour. Captain D'Bag kept overspeaking his wife, and dominating the conversation. Oh well. That's just what he does. Eventually Sister-in-law and I just split the conversation and D'bag and Steve went off in a different vein. After a few minutes, however, Steve was confused about something, and was insisting on his point, and D'bag was practically turning himself inside out trying to convince Steve he was mistaken. And yes, Steve was mistaken. It was a small point. Not something someone who wasn't compromised would ever be confused about. Steve was unshakable, however. And his brother had to just drop it.
Steve also repeated the same points about a mutual friend a couple of times. And was obviously confused about the marital status of another mutual friend who happens to be in Steve's band. Maybe brother and sister-in-law will recognize these things as symptoms of dementia? Maybe not.
Anyhow, the visit itself went well enough.
I told sister-in-law that it's hard for me to socialize but that I wanted to put more effort into it for Steve's sake. And I specifically requested that Brother-in-Law and Steve have lunch together every couple of months. Or some other social activity. Perhaps share a beer? That sort of thing. Sister-In-Law said I would have to pester Brother-In-Law more directly for that. Which, in one way, really sucks. But, it's true. If it's what I'd like to try, then the ball is absolutely in my court.