Bullying
I've been reading about the rash of suicides that have occurred due to bullying as of late. In fact, it really got my attention when the North Dakota suicide occurred.
I think the most surprising thing about this is that people seem surprised. This isn't something new...both Mike and I have talked about our experiences being brutally teased and harassed in school. So I have seen it on a very personal level.
I've seen my son go through it. In fact, it got to the point where I had to go with him to the counselor and effectively complain about sexual harassment on the part of another student. Nothing happened to that student. The student reduced the bullying, but it never did stop. My son was often targeted in sixth grade to be picked on while the teachers turned their backs. When they started paying attention, the other kids would snap to and my son would be left steaming and frustrated. When he said something, he was the one that ended up in detention, not the other kids.
After that year of school, when he went into a full-time gifted program at a new school, he was so defensive that he would lash out at the teachers and other students. He thought they were all out to get him. It took him nearly a year to realize that the people at this school really did want to help him. Then he had another year where he was finally treated kindly and no one mistreated him because of his quirks. Were it not for those people's kindness and patience, I think he would be an angry and potentially violent kid.
Which makes me think of Columbine...have we forgotten that already? How many times have people talked about school shooters often being the victims of bullying and mistreatment?
When I have told people that I homeschool and they say kids ought to go to school for "proper socialization", I guffaw in their face. Are people just waking up to the fact that "proper socialization" usually entails some group of kids mistreating another group, and neither group has the emotional maturity or skills to deal with the problem? I'm sorry, but schools don't and generally can't do much about it, but it is rampant. It has always been a problem. It never stopped.
Primarily, however, I'm disgusted by the example being set by adults, by the media, by every place that tries to polarize people against each other. Our national conversation is one of anger and derision of anyone who disagrees with us. We can't compromise or try to see the other side. We can't respect that people have good reasons for their beliefs, even when they differ from ours.
We can't have a conversation where people respect differences of opinion or differences in people, so how can we expect our kids to?
I think the most surprising thing about this is that people seem surprised. This isn't something new...both Mike and I have talked about our experiences being brutally teased and harassed in school. So I have seen it on a very personal level.
I've seen my son go through it. In fact, it got to the point where I had to go with him to the counselor and effectively complain about sexual harassment on the part of another student. Nothing happened to that student. The student reduced the bullying, but it never did stop. My son was often targeted in sixth grade to be picked on while the teachers turned their backs. When they started paying attention, the other kids would snap to and my son would be left steaming and frustrated. When he said something, he was the one that ended up in detention, not the other kids.
After that year of school, when he went into a full-time gifted program at a new school, he was so defensive that he would lash out at the teachers and other students. He thought they were all out to get him. It took him nearly a year to realize that the people at this school really did want to help him. Then he had another year where he was finally treated kindly and no one mistreated him because of his quirks. Were it not for those people's kindness and patience, I think he would be an angry and potentially violent kid.
Which makes me think of Columbine...have we forgotten that already? How many times have people talked about school shooters often being the victims of bullying and mistreatment?
When I have told people that I homeschool and they say kids ought to go to school for "proper socialization", I guffaw in their face. Are people just waking up to the fact that "proper socialization" usually entails some group of kids mistreating another group, and neither group has the emotional maturity or skills to deal with the problem? I'm sorry, but schools don't and generally can't do much about it, but it is rampant. It has always been a problem. It never stopped.
Primarily, however, I'm disgusted by the example being set by adults, by the media, by every place that tries to polarize people against each other. Our national conversation is one of anger and derision of anyone who disagrees with us. We can't compromise or try to see the other side. We can't respect that people have good reasons for their beliefs, even when they differ from ours.
We can't have a conversation where people respect differences of opinion or differences in people, so how can we expect our kids to?