Conflicting priorities
A lot of people think its a bad idea for me to be in Minneapolis going to school while my husband is in Fargo. Aside from some of the practicalities of this arrangement (he has steady employment in a crappy economy and we own a house in Fargo), there are some other intangible things that also led us to this decision.
A major issue is the fact that, like most women, I am often one who does a lot of the running around. Being a student for the last few years has lead to this arrangement fairly naturally. It is a lot easier for me to pick kids up, run kids to activities, take cats to the gates of hell veterinarian between classes than it is for my husband to leave work for such activities. He does do it quite often, but if I didn't have a class, it made more sense for me to do it than for him to whittle his vacation into nothing.
Being back in Fargo, I am working part-time. The other half of my day, however, is quickly filled up with other appointments. For instance, a trip to the vet today took at least half of my afternoon (and a chunk of my wallet). Later, I had to pick up the younger son and go to Target to get some items. That sucked up most of the evening. A couple days ago involved a day-long visit to the doctor.
Whether or not I like it, kids and cats take up a lot of time. Part of the reason we decided on our arrangement was to make sure that I would not be dealing with the constant interruptions that kids usually present. If I had only one kid, that would cut my running to at least 1/2. (Given the older one is considerably more self-sufficient than the younger, I would say it's closer to 1/3.)
It's also the hardest part. Running your kids around is a big part of being involved in their life. I guess that if I had a nanny or something similar, I probably would see my kids a bit more, but I would rather that we find a way as parents to spend time with our kids. We already rely on daycare an awful lot. So the solution was for me to be gone during the week and then make sure I have time on weekends to spend together. I feel less guilty about not doing work when I'm with my kids in that situation. It's not an ideal solution, but given all the other issues we were dealing with, it has made the most sense and seems to be working okay. The quicker we get through it, though, the easier it will hopefully be on everyone.
A major issue is the fact that, like most women, I am often one who does a lot of the running around. Being a student for the last few years has lead to this arrangement fairly naturally. It is a lot easier for me to pick kids up, run kids to activities, take cats to the gates of hell veterinarian between classes than it is for my husband to leave work for such activities. He does do it quite often, but if I didn't have a class, it made more sense for me to do it than for him to whittle his vacation into nothing.
Being back in Fargo, I am working part-time. The other half of my day, however, is quickly filled up with other appointments. For instance, a trip to the vet today took at least half of my afternoon (and a chunk of my wallet). Later, I had to pick up the younger son and go to Target to get some items. That sucked up most of the evening. A couple days ago involved a day-long visit to the doctor.
Whether or not I like it, kids and cats take up a lot of time. Part of the reason we decided on our arrangement was to make sure that I would not be dealing with the constant interruptions that kids usually present. If I had only one kid, that would cut my running to at least 1/2. (Given the older one is considerably more self-sufficient than the younger, I would say it's closer to 1/3.)
It's also the hardest part. Running your kids around is a big part of being involved in their life. I guess that if I had a nanny or something similar, I probably would see my kids a bit more, but I would rather that we find a way as parents to spend time with our kids. We already rely on daycare an awful lot. So the solution was for me to be gone during the week and then make sure I have time on weekends to spend together. I feel less guilty about not doing work when I'm with my kids in that situation. It's not an ideal solution, but given all the other issues we were dealing with, it has made the most sense and seems to be working okay. The quicker we get through it, though, the easier it will hopefully be on everyone.