A letter to a dead man brings me to tears
oh dear, how severely lacking i have been. well, huzzah i am back after 3 days of nothing. lets see, what have we missed? well, for starters yesterday i have a technology induced breakdown. google mail was down, and so i couldn't, try as i might, get any computer in the house to receive any other type of email so i could print my homework. my laptop doesn't play well with others. so i broke down into tears, fell into bed, and refused to go to class and embarrass myself by being without assignment. i really hope that little episode doesn't bite me in the ass. monday was good. i was late to class, but i made a friend or two.
oh wait, nevermind. it wasn't good. i broke down in that class too! i forgot until just now. one of our assignments for that class is to a write a letter to our most professional teacher- one who taught is more than just a test, who was a real role model. the teacher starts to describe for us the kind of letter and whatnot, and i'm mulling around in the back of my mind which teacher i should pick. the best choice i have, and the one i want to write the most, is to Mr. Amand, my poor deceased french teacher from high school. i loved that man SO much, since he was a friend, a teacher, a role model, and a real hero in my opinion, having gone through so much (he was raised in Nazi occupied france for crying out loud!) and never once giving up on humanity and especially on his students. he taught me so much more than french words, but an unending love of life, and gave me a true picture of the kind of teacher i have decided i want to be. (even now i'm starting to cry, just thinking about it). well anyway, while sitting in class, i think about all that i want to tell monsieur, and i can't ever tell him. so i start to cry. it's all i can do from bawling. so i ask the question- can we send a letter to a deceased person? miraculously, we can, but we send it instead to an administrator. then i ask if we address the interior of the letter to the teacher or to the admin, letting them know they had hired a good teacher. he misunderstands me, thinking i mean the outside of the envelope, not the letter itself. so my classmates jump in, trying to help me out, since i'm actually sobbing at this point, which makes things worse. i finally get my answer and think, "whew, ok now stop looking at me everyone while i calm down" and the prof makes and example of me. "see, her reaction is exactly why i want you to do this- teachers can touch out lives so meaningfully... blah blah blah" now the ENTIRE class is staring, since he pointed out i was crying like a 5 year old. that REALLY helped the whole thing. when i got to my car, i finally broke down and let it all out, so i could drive without holding all that in and giving myself a stomach ache.
today was good. i made an inappropriate joke and someone thought i was serious. oops. there goes that friend. oh and the BIG NEWS
*drumroll*
ASHLEY GOT A NEW JOB!!! yay!! it has real money and health benefits and whatnot. that means that we can get married now, since he needed medical coverage, because a married woman can't be on her daddy's health insurance any longer... that and needing to be able to provide for two people.... but i should be done with school and supplementing the income with my own paycheck by the time we get married anyway.... but yes!! ash had an interview and got offered the job within 2 hours!! they liked him.... yay!!! i am so proud. i honestly didn't know if he could take a rejection.... he's not good with "thanks but no thanks" but of course, are any of us? it's a "no" any way you spin it, and who needs that slap to your self esteem? but i KNEW he could do and i put all those vibes out there, and i guess that gave ash the confidence this time an he wowed them and now he has a new job in the teen dept. and this job has room for growth, he says, so one day maybe he'll be running a library, or even a whole bunch of them. whatever he wants, he can do it, but now he has that confidence back, and i hope he likes his new job. go ash!
ok, now time for book and bed. oh, started a new book. Daughter of the Forest, the one nancy loaned me. i love it, but damn it it's part of a trilogy, so now i need to BUY the damn thing, and it's sequels!! GRR!!! sigh.... the never-ending plight of a self-declared bibliomanic. all well.
oh wait, nevermind. it wasn't good. i broke down in that class too! i forgot until just now. one of our assignments for that class is to a write a letter to our most professional teacher- one who taught is more than just a test, who was a real role model. the teacher starts to describe for us the kind of letter and whatnot, and i'm mulling around in the back of my mind which teacher i should pick. the best choice i have, and the one i want to write the most, is to Mr. Amand, my poor deceased french teacher from high school. i loved that man SO much, since he was a friend, a teacher, a role model, and a real hero in my opinion, having gone through so much (he was raised in Nazi occupied france for crying out loud!) and never once giving up on humanity and especially on his students. he taught me so much more than french words, but an unending love of life, and gave me a true picture of the kind of teacher i have decided i want to be. (even now i'm starting to cry, just thinking about it). well anyway, while sitting in class, i think about all that i want to tell monsieur, and i can't ever tell him. so i start to cry. it's all i can do from bawling. so i ask the question- can we send a letter to a deceased person? miraculously, we can, but we send it instead to an administrator. then i ask if we address the interior of the letter to the teacher or to the admin, letting them know they had hired a good teacher. he misunderstands me, thinking i mean the outside of the envelope, not the letter itself. so my classmates jump in, trying to help me out, since i'm actually sobbing at this point, which makes things worse. i finally get my answer and think, "whew, ok now stop looking at me everyone while i calm down" and the prof makes and example of me. "see, her reaction is exactly why i want you to do this- teachers can touch out lives so meaningfully... blah blah blah" now the ENTIRE class is staring, since he pointed out i was crying like a 5 year old. that REALLY helped the whole thing. when i got to my car, i finally broke down and let it all out, so i could drive without holding all that in and giving myself a stomach ache.
today was good. i made an inappropriate joke and someone thought i was serious. oops. there goes that friend. oh and the BIG NEWS
*drumroll*
ASHLEY GOT A NEW JOB!!! yay!! it has real money and health benefits and whatnot. that means that we can get married now, since he needed medical coverage, because a married woman can't be on her daddy's health insurance any longer... that and needing to be able to provide for two people.... but i should be done with school and supplementing the income with my own paycheck by the time we get married anyway.... but yes!! ash had an interview and got offered the job within 2 hours!! they liked him.... yay!!! i am so proud. i honestly didn't know if he could take a rejection.... he's not good with "thanks but no thanks" but of course, are any of us? it's a "no" any way you spin it, and who needs that slap to your self esteem? but i KNEW he could do and i put all those vibes out there, and i guess that gave ash the confidence this time an he wowed them and now he has a new job in the teen dept. and this job has room for growth, he says, so one day maybe he'll be running a library, or even a whole bunch of them. whatever he wants, he can do it, but now he has that confidence back, and i hope he likes his new job. go ash!
ok, now time for book and bed. oh, started a new book. Daughter of the Forest, the one nancy loaned me. i love it, but damn it it's part of a trilogy, so now i need to BUY the damn thing, and it's sequels!! GRR!!! sigh.... the never-ending plight of a self-declared bibliomanic. all well.