Something else...
... I had planned on writing a Christmas-fic. Was quite well on my way with it too, but then I got a phone-call (halfway December) that one of my cousins had died.
I didn't know her well. My father and her mother (brother and sister) had some argument at a certain point which meant that I didn't see my cousins for many years and by the time that my dad and his sister patched things up, the distance between me and my cousins had grown rather wide. We don't hate each other or something. When/if we see each other we get along great, and we tell each other that we should meet up more often, but then... nothing happens and we all we lead our own lives. And time goes on.
Now, her death shocked me, not so much because of her, because I didn't really know her all that well, but she was bit older than me, obese like me, fighting inner demons like me and her death made me quite aware of my own mortality. My obesity will kill me if I don't stop. And I KNOW it.
She probably died of heart-failure, but at the same time, she didn't really take good care of herself. (I'm just as stubborn, I fear) She had had a medical procedure, but didn't follow the medical advice to help herself get well again. She apparently sabotaged herself (that would be me too).
Her death killed my Christmas mood (well, that, and my hubby and daughter complaining that I always go overboard with Christmas. Which I do. Because it used to be my favorite holiday/party. )
I no longer 'felt' the story. It will stay on my computer, I fear. Along with a few other stories, that just don't move along either. The positive is: I now have a full 11 months to finish it for next year. :D
So, that was the reason why, despite my earlier optimism, there was no Christmas story for B&S this (last) year.
I didn't know her well. My father and her mother (brother and sister) had some argument at a certain point which meant that I didn't see my cousins for many years and by the time that my dad and his sister patched things up, the distance between me and my cousins had grown rather wide. We don't hate each other or something. When/if we see each other we get along great, and we tell each other that we should meet up more often, but then... nothing happens and we all we lead our own lives. And time goes on.
Now, her death shocked me, not so much because of her, because I didn't really know her all that well, but she was bit older than me, obese like me, fighting inner demons like me and her death made me quite aware of my own mortality. My obesity will kill me if I don't stop. And I KNOW it.
She probably died of heart-failure, but at the same time, she didn't really take good care of herself. (I'm just as stubborn, I fear) She had had a medical procedure, but didn't follow the medical advice to help herself get well again. She apparently sabotaged herself (that would be me too).
Her death killed my Christmas mood (well, that, and my hubby and daughter complaining that I always go overboard with Christmas. Which I do. Because it used to be my favorite holiday/party. )
I no longer 'felt' the story. It will stay on my computer, I fear. Along with a few other stories, that just don't move along either. The positive is: I now have a full 11 months to finish it for next year. :D
So, that was the reason why, despite my earlier optimism, there was no Christmas story for B&S this (last) year.