Fanfic: Lightbulbs
Lightbulbs
By Marea67
About: Kevin, Scotty, and a couple more Walkers
Rate: G.
Disclaimer: Written with love, not for money
Summary: Of course it wasn't just because he changed the lightbulbs... Set between the end of 2.14 and the end of 2.15
*****
“No seriously, Kev, when are you going to make an honest man out of Scotty?” Tommy asks. The question comes so from out of nowhere that Kevin’s stops his fork halfway towards his mouth and lets it stay there for at least 4 seconds. Justin bows his head to hide his grin. He should have lunch with his two brothers more often.
“I thought we were discussing Mom’s plans to buy a house for families of sick children…?” Kevin tries to bring the subject back to their previous topic. Tommy shakes his head.
“No, I changed the subject.”
“I noticed.” Kevin says sourly.
“We are however curious for the answer.” Justin grins.
“Why? What have you heard?” Had Scotty said anything about the fact they had discussed domestic partnership? And that he had turned Kevin down?
“Should we have heard something?” Tommy immediately asks in return, leaning in with a suspicious look on his face.
“No. Just wondering why you brought it up.” Kevin shrugs, heart pounding.
“It’s nothing. It’s just that when we went surfing, I brought it up and…?” Justin leaves the question in the air, hoping for a response from Kevin. He can see by the way that Kevin moves on his chair that Kevin has something on his mind.
Justin looks at Tommy, who grins back at him. They both know Kevin so well.
“So, come on, spill.” Tommy encourages Kevin, though it does sound more like an order.
“I suggested it to him.” Kevin begrudgingly admits.
“You proposed?” Justin’s mouth drops open.
He had merely wanted to tease Kevin. This was not what he had expected. Tommy frowns.
“'Proposed' is a big word…” Kevin waves it away.
“What did you do then?” Tommy wants to know. He’s curious about how you can ‘suggest’ a proposal?
“I suggested that it would be a good idea. You know, insurance wise. It would cover so many things…. Medical, dental, vision, dependent life, accidental death and dismemberment…. It would….” Kevin can’t finish his sentence however. With a small thud, Justin hits his head on the table and then slowly lifts it again.
“No. Serious. Death and dismemberment?” Justin shakes his head and covers his face with his hands.
“Accidental death…” Tommy emphasizes, choking on his laughter.
“What?!” Kevin acts slightly annoyed.
“Did dad never give you that speech about how to get a girl?”
“Scotty is not a girl, Tommy.”
“Same thing. You want to marry him, woo him.” Tommy points out.
“I just wanted to be practical about this. It was the right solution for his problem.”
Kevin tries to explain himself, though he’s still annoyed. Tommy and Justin exchange looks. Kevin is really clueless.
“Except… Scotty doesn’t need a solution, he needs you.” Tommy points out, more seriously than either Kevin or Justin would have expected him to.
“Listen, Kev,.. " Tommy continues. ".. there’s no denying that I don’t know how this works with you guys, but I do know that you love Scotty… And that Scotty loves you. If you want to give him the security that he needs, if you want to be there for him and be a part of his life, you have to make an effort to make him feel that he’s everything you need in your life.”
“He is. He knows that.” Kevin says, wondering why anyone would doubt this. He’s never been more in love with anyone in his entire life. Every day, when he wakes up next to Scotty, he knows that he’s a lucky guy.
“Then show him. Tell him.” Tommy advices.
*****
“Well, I couldn’t very well say yes, now could I?” Scotty shakes his head. Jordan stares at his food, wondering whether to be brutally honest or lie…. Brutally honest would be the best, he supposes.
“Scotty Wandell, you’re a total idiot.” He therefore says.
“What?”
“Oh, come on! He proposes to you and you say ‘no’. Heck, I don’t know Kevin half as good as you do, but even I can see, that he loves you with everything he has and that you love him like crazy too… For - God only knows - what reason.”
“But…?”
“So, he didn’t say the right words, didn’t perhaps pull out the unicorns and the rainbows you’d hoped for, but… He proposed!”
“He offered me a deal.”
“He’s a lawyer. Making deals is what he does for a living. He probably just wants you to get the best deal there is…”
“He offered me insurance for death and dismemberment… Accidental death, but still,.. Death and dismemberment? …”
Jordan opens his mouth to say something, closes his mouth again and then hesitantly decides:
“Well… that’s …. Sweet? .. In a creepy… weird… way… rather morbid even. But still, it’s caring. For his standards… I suppose?”
Scotty sighs. He had wished that Jordan would laugh out loud and that he would agree with Scotty’s decision not to accept Kevin’s offer for domestic partnership. But, as he had told his story to Jordan, the feeling had crept up on Scotty that he had made a mistake and Jordan's reaction was confirming this.
******
Kevin couldn’t get Tommy’s words out of his mind. All day he had gone over his suggest-a-domestic-partnership-scene in his head. He had somehow pictured Scotty to be more grateful, but of course, as much as Kevin hated to admit it, Tommy had been right. Scotty is a romantic person, more bohemian, more casual, more laid-back.
Of course he wouldn’t decide for a domestic partnership based on financial and logical reasons and the chance for the right insurances. It had to be a romantic gesture, something done from the heart, based on emotions. And that’s where things get difficult. Kevin doesn’t do ‘romantic’, ‘heart’ and ‘emotions’ all that well.
*****
Scotty tried to ignore that sick feeling that he had made a mistake. In his heart he knows it had been the right choice. As sweet as Kevin’s offer had been, it hadn’t been a proposal. A proposal was about love and commitment and not about clauses in a document. Or at least that was his opinion.
But, after talking to Jordan, he could see why, for Kevin, the offer had been of great value. Of course, he’d want to provide the best care, attention and security for Scotty. Isn’t that what you do for you loved ones? Offer care and love? And that is exactly what Kevin had offered him… Protection. Even in case of dismemberment...
However, this is not what Scotty had wanted. Scotty had wanted some romantic gesture, for Kevin to go down on one knee, for Kevin to say the right words that Scotty wanted to hear. He had wanted to be swept off his feet…. And that is of course the problem. Kevin doesn’t do ‘romantic’, ‘the right words’ and ‘sweeping off one’s feet’ all that well.
*****
“You should really propose to Scotty again.” Justin decides.
“I won’t.” Kevin shakes his head.
“I hate to say it, but I agree with Justin.” Tommy nods at his youngest brother.
“Good for you. I still won’t.” Kevin answers curtly.
“He’s just waiting for you to do it right.” Justin tries to make Kevin more accessible to the topic.
“I never will. Scotty wants romance, the rainbow, the glitters, the whole show-stopping song and dance… I’m not that kinda guy. However I would propose, it would be either wrong to him or fake to me. We’re just not ready.”
Justin opens his mouth to go against Kevin, but Tommy puts his hand on Justin’s arm and he shakes his head. Tommy is suddenly aware that it hurts Kevin more than he’s letting on and that his stubbornness comes from not being able to get it right.
“Don’t worry, little brother, when the time is right, you’ll do it right.”
His words make Kevin look at Tommy with a watery smile.
“I hope so.” Kevin nods.
“You will.” Tommy says with confidence. Justin looks at his two brothers with a proud little smile, glad to see that Tommy can show his brotherly affection in such a positive way. Kevin will get it right, when the time is right.
*****
Scotty tries to put his annoyance aside. Every since Kevin had made him that offer,… proposal … whatever-you-wanna-call-it… the relationship between Kevin and him had somehow changed. As if Kevin had somehow taken the refusal as sign that he hadn’t been trying hard enough. Or that he hadn’t been loving enough.
Suddenly Kevin started calling him even more than ever. He got home as often as he could, even working at home if he had to, just to be with Scotty. Scotty doesn’t know why but the balance had somehow shifted and it’s making him a bit nervous. He loves Kevin and he’s fairly sure that Kevin loves him in return.
But Kevin is just trying too hard to please him. Who thought that he would ever say that? Too much loving… Scotty tries to ignore the pang of regret. He should have accepted the offer… he shouldn’t have acted like a little girl, who’d been reading to many fairy-tales about happily-ever-after…
*****
“Inconvenient moment?” Robert asks, as he enters Kevin’s office.
“You always.” Kevin answers, but his quick smile takes the sting out of his words, and he waves at the chairs, signaling Robert to sit down. “Did we have an appointment? ….” He asks, not sure why Robert is here, but he's fairly sure that Robert and he didn’t have anything scheduled.
“No. Just dropping in with two letters that Kitty wants you to have a look at.”
“Social call then.” Kevin deducts. Robert shrugs. Kevin takes the two letters from Robert’s hands and quickly looks through them. “I will answer them in her name. Will you tell her that?” He looks at Robert, who nods, but makes no effort to get up and leave.
“There’s a rumor going around…” Robert says.
“What rumor?” Kevin asks. He’s usually rather up to date with the latest political gossip, but it’s all been too hectic today with work.
“You proposed to Scotty and he turned you down?”
Kevin throws a quick look at Robert.
“Are you gloating over this, because you’re still angry about what happened between Jason and me?”
“No. I just want to know the truth. I know how stories can get ‘distorted’.”
“There’s nothing to it. I suggested a domestic partnership to him and he said ‘no’, no harm done. No stories. Just… nothing.” Kevin hopes that by now the death and dismemberment clause has been put to rest, seeing how people thought it was such a joke. A little smile plays around Robert’s mouth.
“I heard the ‘death and dismemberment’-clause wasn’t considered the most romantic offer to give a guy.” Robert asks with a little grin. Kevin rolls his eyes.
“No, it isn’t.” Kevin admits, slightly annoyed, slightly embarrassed, but somehow also slightly amused. “I was just trying to be practical.”
“And, logically speaking, it would have been a good decision. I’m sure that Scotty and you will be happy if you ever decide to really ask him.”
“I don’t think I ever will do that again.” Kevin waves Robert’s words away.
“I think you should.” Robert replies.
For a moment there’s a silence between the two men.
“What?” Kevin is not sure he heard it right.
“You should try again.”
“That’s what Justin said too.”
“Listen to your younger brother. He’s smarter than you think.”
“I wouldn’t know how. He wants romance and… it’s not me.”
“Maybe what Scotty wants is sincerity.”
“Sincerity?”
“I have to admit that I’ve only met Scotty a few times, so I’m not the best judge here, but I’m usually a good judge of character. And I think, that if he would have believed that the proposal came from heart, and not the head, then, regardless of how unromantic you’ll be, he’ll accept with both hands.”
Kevin doesn’t answer straightaway. No sharp reply, no nothing. He seems to think the words over, but then he sighs:
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Maybe he knew I wasn’t ready. I was never good at making these kind of commitments.” Unwillingly he thinks back on the relationship with Jason.
“Maybe you weren’t in the past. And…” Robert pauses, thinking of what Jason had told him about his breakup with Kevin. “…. And maybe you weren’t always with people who, deep in their heart, wanted that commitment as well…. But I have the feeling that you know what you want. And I think that if anyone is willing, to go for that commitment, it’s Scotty.”
"Still not going to do it." Kevin shakes his head.
*****
Scotty pulls the chair closer and grabs a light-bulb. He would have preferred to do this with Kevin. Or better, have Kevin do it for him. But Kevin had sounded so stressed out on the phone. Really? All he had eaten all day was just a few pretzels? How could he survive on that alone? Well, Scotty had a nice dinner ready for Kevin and once Kevin would be home, he'd make sure that he would pamper Kevin as much as he could.
If anyone deserves some TLC, it's Kevin. He's already doing too much for everybody and trying to solve everyone else's problems. Scotty loves the Walkers like crazy, but sometimes he wishes them all to hell, because they expect the impossible from Kevin, leaving Kevin devastated when he can't deliver the impossible. Well, tonight would be all about Kevin, Scotty is going to make sure of that. And there goes light bulb number one.
*****
Sometimes Kevin wonders if his entire family is just bat-shit crazy and if he’s the only one who’s remotely sane. He had been through quite some weird days with that insane family of his, but today… Today had been just the worst, the weirdest, the most infuriating and the most shocking in all his life.
Somewhere between Justin’s confession about his feelings for Rebecca, Sarah’s inability to take charge of her life, Tommy’s flabbergasted outrage over Sarah’s foolish decision and Saul’s part in wrecking Ojai Foods and his subsequent coming out, Kevin feels like he’s been thrown into a maelstrom and he has no idea if he can ever come up again for some air.
It’s not like he can’t see Justin’s point. Of course Rebecca is pretty. She’s funny. And smart. And if there was a moment of doubt of whether she was a Walker or not, then Kevin could imagine Justin having feelings as well. Especially if you consider how well they get along. But… she’s still his sister.
And it’s not like he can’t understand Sarah. Of course she’s had a miserable divorce. And Graham is attractive and the deal had looked good on paper… But still, … why had she not talked to Nora first or even to Kevin, before taking such a drastic decision that could jeopardize their father’s company? Just to have a hot body in her bed?
And it’s not like Kevin can’t understand why Tommy called him and asked him if it was true that Sarah had put the family in incredible debt. Tommy had backed away from Ojai, believing it to be safe in Sarah’s hands, while he and Holly would focus on Walker’s Landing. But it had been Tommy’s own decision to leave.
And it’s not like he can’t understand Nora’s panic. But she can’t expect him to perform miracles. If he had known about the deal, he would have been against it. He could have at least tried to persuade Sarah to think twice. Now, the deal had been made without him knowing and his hands were tied as well.
And Saul…. Saul… Kevin shakes his head. Saul. He can’t even think about how he feels about the whole mess with Saul. At least he came out to him… But it’s all so heart-breaking. He has wasted so many good years of his life, hiding from who he is and what he is.
Kevin’s eyes fill with tears. Everyone is unhappy. Everyone is suffering. Most of it due to their own faults. He can’t fix everyone’s problems. He just can’t! Everyone seems to be pulling at him. Justin, Sarah, Nora, Tommy, Saul…. It feels as if no one can do anything without him. He’s supposed to be there for everybody and he’s not sure how much more he can take.
He’s tired of worrying for others and trying to solve other people’s problems. As the elevator takes him to the 5th floor, he feels tired, exhausted, on the verge of just wanting to shut the whole world out, hide under a blanket and never come from underneath it…. Or, rather, no. He’d rather snuggle up to Scotty and hold him close.
In front of the door he stops and straightens his back and he’s reminded of the fact that he had promised to fix the light-bulbs. See, people can’t even fix light-bulbs without him! He laughs cynically. Is there really no one can simply take care of their own shit? Just take responsibility and lift a problem from his shoulder?
He opens the door. The house is dark, when Scotty should have been home. For a few seconds some emotions get mixed in his mind. One side is upset that Scotty isn’t there, because he needs Scotty. One side wonders if Scotty is alright and if something has happened to him.
“Scotty?” He asks in the dark, hoping Scotty isn’t on the floor somewhere, wounded. Or worse… Death and dismemberment… But then he sees the light in the kitchen is on and he hears Scotty’s voice.
“Wait. Wait. Wait… Allow me…” He runs up to the light-switch and flicks it.
Slowly the eco-lights light up and Kevin feels a strange feeling of relief wash over him. Justin, Rebecca, Sarah, Ojai, Tommy, Walker’s Landing, Nora…. It all falls to the background. All that really matters is right here. Scotty.
“You changed the light-bulbs.” Kevin says quietly. And it changes everything…
THE END
By Marea67
About: Kevin, Scotty, and a couple more Walkers
Rate: G.
Disclaimer: Written with love, not for money
Summary: Of course it wasn't just because he changed the lightbulbs... Set between the end of 2.14 and the end of 2.15
*****
“No seriously, Kev, when are you going to make an honest man out of Scotty?” Tommy asks. The question comes so from out of nowhere that Kevin’s stops his fork halfway towards his mouth and lets it stay there for at least 4 seconds. Justin bows his head to hide his grin. He should have lunch with his two brothers more often.
“I thought we were discussing Mom’s plans to buy a house for families of sick children…?” Kevin tries to bring the subject back to their previous topic. Tommy shakes his head.
“No, I changed the subject.”
“I noticed.” Kevin says sourly.
“We are however curious for the answer.” Justin grins.
“Why? What have you heard?” Had Scotty said anything about the fact they had discussed domestic partnership? And that he had turned Kevin down?
“Should we have heard something?” Tommy immediately asks in return, leaning in with a suspicious look on his face.
“No. Just wondering why you brought it up.” Kevin shrugs, heart pounding.
“It’s nothing. It’s just that when we went surfing, I brought it up and…?” Justin leaves the question in the air, hoping for a response from Kevin. He can see by the way that Kevin moves on his chair that Kevin has something on his mind.
Justin looks at Tommy, who grins back at him. They both know Kevin so well.
“So, come on, spill.” Tommy encourages Kevin, though it does sound more like an order.
“I suggested it to him.” Kevin begrudgingly admits.
“You proposed?” Justin’s mouth drops open.
He had merely wanted to tease Kevin. This was not what he had expected. Tommy frowns.
“'Proposed' is a big word…” Kevin waves it away.
“What did you do then?” Tommy wants to know. He’s curious about how you can ‘suggest’ a proposal?
“I suggested that it would be a good idea. You know, insurance wise. It would cover so many things…. Medical, dental, vision, dependent life, accidental death and dismemberment…. It would….” Kevin can’t finish his sentence however. With a small thud, Justin hits his head on the table and then slowly lifts it again.
“No. Serious. Death and dismemberment?” Justin shakes his head and covers his face with his hands.
“Accidental death…” Tommy emphasizes, choking on his laughter.
“What?!” Kevin acts slightly annoyed.
“Did dad never give you that speech about how to get a girl?”
“Scotty is not a girl, Tommy.”
“Same thing. You want to marry him, woo him.” Tommy points out.
“I just wanted to be practical about this. It was the right solution for his problem.”
Kevin tries to explain himself, though he’s still annoyed. Tommy and Justin exchange looks. Kevin is really clueless.
“Except… Scotty doesn’t need a solution, he needs you.” Tommy points out, more seriously than either Kevin or Justin would have expected him to.
“Listen, Kev,.. " Tommy continues. ".. there’s no denying that I don’t know how this works with you guys, but I do know that you love Scotty… And that Scotty loves you. If you want to give him the security that he needs, if you want to be there for him and be a part of his life, you have to make an effort to make him feel that he’s everything you need in your life.”
“He is. He knows that.” Kevin says, wondering why anyone would doubt this. He’s never been more in love with anyone in his entire life. Every day, when he wakes up next to Scotty, he knows that he’s a lucky guy.
“Then show him. Tell him.” Tommy advices.
*****
“Well, I couldn’t very well say yes, now could I?” Scotty shakes his head. Jordan stares at his food, wondering whether to be brutally honest or lie…. Brutally honest would be the best, he supposes.
“Scotty Wandell, you’re a total idiot.” He therefore says.
“What?”
“Oh, come on! He proposes to you and you say ‘no’. Heck, I don’t know Kevin half as good as you do, but even I can see, that he loves you with everything he has and that you love him like crazy too… For - God only knows - what reason.”
“But…?”
“So, he didn’t say the right words, didn’t perhaps pull out the unicorns and the rainbows you’d hoped for, but… He proposed!”
“He offered me a deal.”
“He’s a lawyer. Making deals is what he does for a living. He probably just wants you to get the best deal there is…”
“He offered me insurance for death and dismemberment… Accidental death, but still,.. Death and dismemberment? …”
Jordan opens his mouth to say something, closes his mouth again and then hesitantly decides:
“Well… that’s …. Sweet? .. In a creepy… weird… way… rather morbid even. But still, it’s caring. For his standards… I suppose?”
Scotty sighs. He had wished that Jordan would laugh out loud and that he would agree with Scotty’s decision not to accept Kevin’s offer for domestic partnership. But, as he had told his story to Jordan, the feeling had crept up on Scotty that he had made a mistake and Jordan's reaction was confirming this.
******
Kevin couldn’t get Tommy’s words out of his mind. All day he had gone over his suggest-a-domestic-partnership-scene in his head. He had somehow pictured Scotty to be more grateful, but of course, as much as Kevin hated to admit it, Tommy had been right. Scotty is a romantic person, more bohemian, more casual, more laid-back.
Of course he wouldn’t decide for a domestic partnership based on financial and logical reasons and the chance for the right insurances. It had to be a romantic gesture, something done from the heart, based on emotions. And that’s where things get difficult. Kevin doesn’t do ‘romantic’, ‘heart’ and ‘emotions’ all that well.
*****
Scotty tried to ignore that sick feeling that he had made a mistake. In his heart he knows it had been the right choice. As sweet as Kevin’s offer had been, it hadn’t been a proposal. A proposal was about love and commitment and not about clauses in a document. Or at least that was his opinion.
But, after talking to Jordan, he could see why, for Kevin, the offer had been of great value. Of course, he’d want to provide the best care, attention and security for Scotty. Isn’t that what you do for you loved ones? Offer care and love? And that is exactly what Kevin had offered him… Protection. Even in case of dismemberment...
However, this is not what Scotty had wanted. Scotty had wanted some romantic gesture, for Kevin to go down on one knee, for Kevin to say the right words that Scotty wanted to hear. He had wanted to be swept off his feet…. And that is of course the problem. Kevin doesn’t do ‘romantic’, ‘the right words’ and ‘sweeping off one’s feet’ all that well.
*****
“You should really propose to Scotty again.” Justin decides.
“I won’t.” Kevin shakes his head.
“I hate to say it, but I agree with Justin.” Tommy nods at his youngest brother.
“Good for you. I still won’t.” Kevin answers curtly.
“He’s just waiting for you to do it right.” Justin tries to make Kevin more accessible to the topic.
“I never will. Scotty wants romance, the rainbow, the glitters, the whole show-stopping song and dance… I’m not that kinda guy. However I would propose, it would be either wrong to him or fake to me. We’re just not ready.”
Justin opens his mouth to go against Kevin, but Tommy puts his hand on Justin’s arm and he shakes his head. Tommy is suddenly aware that it hurts Kevin more than he’s letting on and that his stubbornness comes from not being able to get it right.
“Don’t worry, little brother, when the time is right, you’ll do it right.”
His words make Kevin look at Tommy with a watery smile.
“I hope so.” Kevin nods.
“You will.” Tommy says with confidence. Justin looks at his two brothers with a proud little smile, glad to see that Tommy can show his brotherly affection in such a positive way. Kevin will get it right, when the time is right.
*****
Scotty tries to put his annoyance aside. Every since Kevin had made him that offer,… proposal … whatever-you-wanna-call-it… the relationship between Kevin and him had somehow changed. As if Kevin had somehow taken the refusal as sign that he hadn’t been trying hard enough. Or that he hadn’t been loving enough.
Suddenly Kevin started calling him even more than ever. He got home as often as he could, even working at home if he had to, just to be with Scotty. Scotty doesn’t know why but the balance had somehow shifted and it’s making him a bit nervous. He loves Kevin and he’s fairly sure that Kevin loves him in return.
But Kevin is just trying too hard to please him. Who thought that he would ever say that? Too much loving… Scotty tries to ignore the pang of regret. He should have accepted the offer… he shouldn’t have acted like a little girl, who’d been reading to many fairy-tales about happily-ever-after…
*****
“Inconvenient moment?” Robert asks, as he enters Kevin’s office.
“You always.” Kevin answers, but his quick smile takes the sting out of his words, and he waves at the chairs, signaling Robert to sit down. “Did we have an appointment? ….” He asks, not sure why Robert is here, but he's fairly sure that Robert and he didn’t have anything scheduled.
“No. Just dropping in with two letters that Kitty wants you to have a look at.”
“Social call then.” Kevin deducts. Robert shrugs. Kevin takes the two letters from Robert’s hands and quickly looks through them. “I will answer them in her name. Will you tell her that?” He looks at Robert, who nods, but makes no effort to get up and leave.
“There’s a rumor going around…” Robert says.
“What rumor?” Kevin asks. He’s usually rather up to date with the latest political gossip, but it’s all been too hectic today with work.
“You proposed to Scotty and he turned you down?”
Kevin throws a quick look at Robert.
“Are you gloating over this, because you’re still angry about what happened between Jason and me?”
“No. I just want to know the truth. I know how stories can get ‘distorted’.”
“There’s nothing to it. I suggested a domestic partnership to him and he said ‘no’, no harm done. No stories. Just… nothing.” Kevin hopes that by now the death and dismemberment clause has been put to rest, seeing how people thought it was such a joke. A little smile plays around Robert’s mouth.
“I heard the ‘death and dismemberment’-clause wasn’t considered the most romantic offer to give a guy.” Robert asks with a little grin. Kevin rolls his eyes.
“No, it isn’t.” Kevin admits, slightly annoyed, slightly embarrassed, but somehow also slightly amused. “I was just trying to be practical.”
“And, logically speaking, it would have been a good decision. I’m sure that Scotty and you will be happy if you ever decide to really ask him.”
“I don’t think I ever will do that again.” Kevin waves Robert’s words away.
“I think you should.” Robert replies.
For a moment there’s a silence between the two men.
“What?” Kevin is not sure he heard it right.
“You should try again.”
“That’s what Justin said too.”
“Listen to your younger brother. He’s smarter than you think.”
“I wouldn’t know how. He wants romance and… it’s not me.”
“Maybe what Scotty wants is sincerity.”
“Sincerity?”
“I have to admit that I’ve only met Scotty a few times, so I’m not the best judge here, but I’m usually a good judge of character. And I think, that if he would have believed that the proposal came from heart, and not the head, then, regardless of how unromantic you’ll be, he’ll accept with both hands.”
Kevin doesn’t answer straightaway. No sharp reply, no nothing. He seems to think the words over, but then he sighs:
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Maybe he knew I wasn’t ready. I was never good at making these kind of commitments.” Unwillingly he thinks back on the relationship with Jason.
“Maybe you weren’t in the past. And…” Robert pauses, thinking of what Jason had told him about his breakup with Kevin. “…. And maybe you weren’t always with people who, deep in their heart, wanted that commitment as well…. But I have the feeling that you know what you want. And I think that if anyone is willing, to go for that commitment, it’s Scotty.”
"Still not going to do it." Kevin shakes his head.
*****
Scotty pulls the chair closer and grabs a light-bulb. He would have preferred to do this with Kevin. Or better, have Kevin do it for him. But Kevin had sounded so stressed out on the phone. Really? All he had eaten all day was just a few pretzels? How could he survive on that alone? Well, Scotty had a nice dinner ready for Kevin and once Kevin would be home, he'd make sure that he would pamper Kevin as much as he could.
If anyone deserves some TLC, it's Kevin. He's already doing too much for everybody and trying to solve everyone else's problems. Scotty loves the Walkers like crazy, but sometimes he wishes them all to hell, because they expect the impossible from Kevin, leaving Kevin devastated when he can't deliver the impossible. Well, tonight would be all about Kevin, Scotty is going to make sure of that. And there goes light bulb number one.
*****
Sometimes Kevin wonders if his entire family is just bat-shit crazy and if he’s the only one who’s remotely sane. He had been through quite some weird days with that insane family of his, but today… Today had been just the worst, the weirdest, the most infuriating and the most shocking in all his life.
Somewhere between Justin’s confession about his feelings for Rebecca, Sarah’s inability to take charge of her life, Tommy’s flabbergasted outrage over Sarah’s foolish decision and Saul’s part in wrecking Ojai Foods and his subsequent coming out, Kevin feels like he’s been thrown into a maelstrom and he has no idea if he can ever come up again for some air.
It’s not like he can’t see Justin’s point. Of course Rebecca is pretty. She’s funny. And smart. And if there was a moment of doubt of whether she was a Walker or not, then Kevin could imagine Justin having feelings as well. Especially if you consider how well they get along. But… she’s still his sister.
And it’s not like he can’t understand Sarah. Of course she’s had a miserable divorce. And Graham is attractive and the deal had looked good on paper… But still, … why had she not talked to Nora first or even to Kevin, before taking such a drastic decision that could jeopardize their father’s company? Just to have a hot body in her bed?
And it’s not like Kevin can’t understand why Tommy called him and asked him if it was true that Sarah had put the family in incredible debt. Tommy had backed away from Ojai, believing it to be safe in Sarah’s hands, while he and Holly would focus on Walker’s Landing. But it had been Tommy’s own decision to leave.
And it’s not like he can’t understand Nora’s panic. But she can’t expect him to perform miracles. If he had known about the deal, he would have been against it. He could have at least tried to persuade Sarah to think twice. Now, the deal had been made without him knowing and his hands were tied as well.
And Saul…. Saul… Kevin shakes his head. Saul. He can’t even think about how he feels about the whole mess with Saul. At least he came out to him… But it’s all so heart-breaking. He has wasted so many good years of his life, hiding from who he is and what he is.
Kevin’s eyes fill with tears. Everyone is unhappy. Everyone is suffering. Most of it due to their own faults. He can’t fix everyone’s problems. He just can’t! Everyone seems to be pulling at him. Justin, Sarah, Nora, Tommy, Saul…. It feels as if no one can do anything without him. He’s supposed to be there for everybody and he’s not sure how much more he can take.
He’s tired of worrying for others and trying to solve other people’s problems. As the elevator takes him to the 5th floor, he feels tired, exhausted, on the verge of just wanting to shut the whole world out, hide under a blanket and never come from underneath it…. Or, rather, no. He’d rather snuggle up to Scotty and hold him close.
In front of the door he stops and straightens his back and he’s reminded of the fact that he had promised to fix the light-bulbs. See, people can’t even fix light-bulbs without him! He laughs cynically. Is there really no one can simply take care of their own shit? Just take responsibility and lift a problem from his shoulder?
He opens the door. The house is dark, when Scotty should have been home. For a few seconds some emotions get mixed in his mind. One side is upset that Scotty isn’t there, because he needs Scotty. One side wonders if Scotty is alright and if something has happened to him.
“Scotty?” He asks in the dark, hoping Scotty isn’t on the floor somewhere, wounded. Or worse… Death and dismemberment… But then he sees the light in the kitchen is on and he hears Scotty’s voice.
“Wait. Wait. Wait… Allow me…” He runs up to the light-switch and flicks it.
Slowly the eco-lights light up and Kevin feels a strange feeling of relief wash over him. Justin, Rebecca, Sarah, Ojai, Tommy, Walker’s Landing, Nora…. It all falls to the background. All that really matters is right here. Scotty.
“You changed the light-bulbs.” Kevin says quietly. And it changes everything…
THE END