Fanfic: Just a quiet holiday 14/14
Jeezzz, it was easier to give birth to my kid than to get this story squeezed out of me! But here - FRAKKING FINALLY - is the last chapter....
Just a quiet holiday 14/14
THIS IS AN AU(=Alternate universe) so things will be most likely different from the original version. Read at your own risk. Don't blame me if you don't like what you read! Not set in any time/place in particular.
By Marea67
About: Kevin & Scotty ( with Chad & Jason dropping by occassionally)
Disclaimer: Merely borrowing the characters, no harm will come to them. (I think...) Written with love not for money.
Rate: I'm going for NC-17 eventually. :)
Summery: Scotty could use a vacation.... So could Kevin...
*****
RECAP:
So, where were we? Kevin/Scotty got quietely married, and the first persons they tell is - naturally - Chad and Jason. Unfortunately, Jason's reaction creates a fight between him and Chad, leaving K/S rather upset. And then the Walkers aren't responding well to their news either....
“Have you lost your mind, Kevin?” Tommy asks.
“Of all the stupid things you could have done.” Kitty adds.
“What were you thinking?!” Sarah wants to know. Kevin stares at his brothers and sisters and he feels in shock. How could they be so against him?
Scotty seems to make himself even smaller than before. Tears sting in his eyes, but he fights them off, not wanting to be seen as some drama-queen.
“Did you really think we would accept this?” Nora shakes her head.
“I can’t believe that you actually thought that you could get away with this.” Justin now puts in his two cents. And by now both Kevin and Scotty are starting to feel sick.
“I agree, this .... This is completely unacceptable.” William says. And he puts his spoon down. A sign that this is the last word spoken on the topic, as far as he is concerned.
*****
“Unacceptable.” William repeats his last word. Scotty is white as a sheet and Kevin is too shocked to say something. Then slowly a smile spreads over William’s face.
“Did you really think that we were going to let you get married with Scotty without a huge party?” He asks.
“Yes, what were you thinking?” Sarah repeats her earlier question. “We’re always looking for a good reason to get drunk and eat lots of food.”
“How could you deprive us of that? I mean, get married all you want, but not throwing a party?…. Unforgiveable!” Tommy adds.
“Then…. You don’t mind that we got married?” Scotty asks, his emotions are by now all over the place.
“Of course not. We’ve been hoping for this to happen since we met you, when you took over Saul’s restaurant.” Nora smiles.
“It was about time you did propose to him. He’s a gem…” Saul grins at Kevin.
“Sorry, if we startled you…” Justin says, the first to notice that Scotty in particular seems thrown over what just happened. “When dad told us this afternoon, we decided to play a little prank on you guys. We assumed that you wanted to tell us tonight, so we kept interrupting you. And then dad would go all ‘ Bad report-card, Justin’ on you and we would do as if we wouldn’t approve and….” J
ustin sees that Scotty is getting very upset and he adds sheepishly.
“… It was just a joke. Honestly.” By now, Scotty’s nerves are completely gone. He can’t stop the tears if he tried, and not even Kevin’s arms around him, can calm him down.
“… A joke that rather backfired, apparently.” Tommy concludes dryly and he gives Scotty the box of tissues, while Nora pours Scotty some water.
The entire family has now gathered around Scotty to offer some comfort, all a bit uncomfortable to see Scotty so upset over their joke.
“I’m so sorry…” Scotty finally manages to say… “It’s just that… after this afternoon… with Chad and Jason… I just…. I couldn’t ….”
William looks at Kevin, a question on his face.
“We went to tell them first. We figured that, because they are special to Scotty and me and because they actually brought us together, that we should tell them first…. We thought they’d be happy for us. Jason wasn’t and what he said made Chad angry and then Chad walked away. So they fought over what we did and …”
“It was no joke. Jason really didn’t approve….” Scotty manages to say. “I was afraid for how you would react, but Kevin was convinced that you would be happy for us… and then…”
“I’m sorry, honey, we didn’t know that.” Nora ruffles Scotty’s hair in a motherly way.
“I would never have wanted to come between Kevin and his family.” Scotty says.
“And his family will not come between you and Kevin.” William says, squeezing Scotty’s shoulder.
“We’re happy you’re a part of this family.” Kitty says and she hugs Scotty.
“Of course, we are, you silly.” Sarah copies her sister’s reaction.
“Yes, you’re more than welcome to the family.” Justin’s hug is tight and sincere and it reminds Scotty of how strong their friendship has grown over the last few months.
Tommy, always the man of few words, doesn’t say anything, but, the fact that he too hugs Scotty is all the ‘welcome to the family’ that Scotty needs to get from him.
“This however doesn’t alter the fact that it’s still unacceptable that there won’t be a big party….” William points out, with a nod at his son Kevin. “I understand your reasons for wishing to remain quiet. They are good reasons, but we’ve always played open card with everyone. Scotty’s past in prostitution is not a secret. We all knew about him and what he was, when we allowed him to be your company during your holiday.
If Scotty indeed had the clientele that Chad and Jason, be it in vague terms, told us about, then there are plenty of people who will want him to be happy in his marriage and they will keep their mouths shut about how well they know him. It will perhaps spike some interest and then it will go away.”
“I agree with dad. Scotty, we can all understand you hesitation, but the more casual we are about this, the less attention it will get. The harder we try to ignore its existence the bigger the expected scandal can get.” As a PR-agent Kitty knows better than anyone else how secrets can backfire once discovered. “So, I would suggest…. Party!!”
“Party! Party! Party!....” Tommy and Justin begin to chant and Sarah and Kitty add their voices quickly too and when finally Nora and Saul begin to chant as well, William gives his son and son-in-law a grin. He raises his eyebrows in question. Kevin looks at Scotty.
“Party it is…” Scotty surrenders with a smile on his face.
*****
THE NEXT MORNING
*****
“I’m so sorry to have bothered you. I’m sure that this was not the way you had intended to spend your wedding-night. I mean, with a guy sleeping on your couch in the room next door.” Chad apologizes, as he enters the kitchen-area, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, after he had had a long hot shower.
He’s still great to look at. Something that doesn’t escape the attention of either Kevin or Scotty. But gorgeous as he is, the dark lines under his eyes betray that he hasn’t slept much last night. Scotty is sure though that he’ll feel better much better after a good breakfast.
He assumes correctly that Chad had spent most of his night drinking. He hands Chad his pants, but gives Chad one of his own t-shirts, because Chad’s is dirty.
“It’s alright, sweetie.” Scotty answers. “Kevin and I were too exhausted for ‘celebrating’ anyway.”
“I’m so sorry.” Chad says again. “I had been driving around, then got drunk, but then, when the cap was supposed to take me home… I just didn’t know where else to go.” Chad shakes his head.
“Scotty is right. We’re not upset or angry and I’m glad you came to us.” Kevin says.
Chad sits down on one of the kitchen-chairs and he rubs his temples as if he has a bad headache. Kevin thinks that he’s trying to not to cry. There’s nothing left of the usually so cheerful Chad. Kevin has always suspected that Chad’s childlike naivety is just an act and that his feelings run much deeper than everyone knows.
Chad had had a complicated life before he had met Jason and he had lost his innocence quite a long time ago. Yet, somehow he had always managed to continue to believe in the good in people, in giving people a second chance. Like Jason, Chad was a kind, generous and forgiving person.
And Chad and Jason had run into very few problems. They relationship had always been a calm one with very few fights. Jason was a firm believer of the idea that if you tried to hold someone too tight, then they’d want to break free, so he had always given Chad great freedom and Chad had done the same for Jason.
He had always believed that Jason loved him, despite his past. Whenever he had doubts if he was good enough for Jason, Jason had told him that he was. Which is why Jason’s words had hit Chad so hard the day before. It had felt as if the words directed at Kevin and about Scotty, had really Jason speaking his mind about Chad to himself. And he had been lying for many years.
The sound of a bell takes the attention of all three men.
“Who is it?” Scotty asks, immediately checking the security-system.
“It’s me, Jason. I want to talk to you.” Scotty looks at Kevin and Chad.
“I’m not here.” Chad says.
“Go in our bedroom and stay there.” Kevin orders Chad. They quickly gather all Chad’s belongings and the blanket he had used, while Scotty asks Jason for just a few seconds and pretends it so Kevin and he can get dressed. He presses the ‘open’ button and the front-door opens. It will still take Jason at least 2 minutes to get upstairs.
Scotty’s eyes scan the room for any evidence that Chad is here, but the only thing he sees is the extra cup, which he quickly puts in the micro-wave oven, so it’s out of sight. Kevin opens the door and he lets Jason in. They expect Jason’s first question to be the question if Chad is here, but instead Jason just raises his hands in a sign of helplessness.
“I came here to say ‘sorry’. I was very rude yesterday and neither of you deserved that… And just so you know. I love you both and I want you both to be happy. And … of course… If you choose to be with Scotty and you love him, then to hell with what anyone else thinks or says. You can’t fight love. If it’s there, it’s there.
I’ve loved Chad from the day we got introduced to each other… I’ve known from the first second that I could never love another man the way that I love him. So, I can imagine how you two must feel…. It’s clear that you love each other. And I’m so sorry. Can you please forgive me?”
Kevin looks at Scotty, whose face softens when he hears Jason’s apology. This is the open, vulnerable, gentle Jason he knows and loves.
“Of course, I can.” He says and he walks up to Jason to hug him. Jason immediately begins to cry and Kevin makes him sit down on the couch, while Scotty gets Jason some tea.
“Thank you.” Jason accepts the cup and he laughs cynically. “I’m sorry, I just to be such a drama-queen lately, crying for no reason, all the time.”
“Not exactly for no reason. These last few months must have been emotionally draining. Have you slept at all last night?”
Jason shakes his head at Scotty's question.
“I can’t reach Chad. He’s not picking up his phone. I have no idea where he could be and I didn’t want anyone to know that we had a fight, so I didn’t dare call anyone. But I’m worried about him. And about us. And if he’ll ever be able to forgive me.”
Kevin looks over Jason’s head towards the bedroom, where Chad stands, dressed by now, hands in his pockets, clearly not knowing what to do.
“Do you love him?” Scotty asks.
“Oh, yes! More than he’ll ever know.” Jason sighs.
Kevin makes a gesture with his head for Chad to come closer. It seems to break Chad’s indecisiveness.
“I’m here.” Chad says. “Kevin and Scotty were kind enough to give me their couch to sleep on last night. Not that I slept much either…”
“I’m sorry.” Jason whispers and there’s so much pain in his eyes, that Chad forgets everything else. He holds Jason as tightly as he can and he lets Jason cry out his pain. Scotty’s eyes meet Kevin’s. And it’s all clear to Scotty:
“I think this is more than we can handle on an empty stomach. We should eat.” He says dryly.
*****
“I truly am sorry for what I said.” Jason brings the conversation back on the topic they all tried to avoid during their breakfast together. But Scotty had been right. Coffee, a good meal and casual conversation, no matter how forced sometimes, had calmed all of them down. “And I think I owe you some explanation.”
“You don’t have to.” Scotty answers immediately.
“But I do… There are so many things in my head right now that I feel like it’s about to explode. All the therapy has unlocked so many feelings, thoughts and memories that may have nothing to do with what happened between Guy and me.
These last few months, I’ve lived through and dealt with so many hang-ups, issues, insecurities and pains that I’m so tired of it. It created so much anger, that I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I know there’s no one to blame but I desperately needed to rid of my anger….
My latest guilt-trip was about trying to find out where I had screwed up and, in doing so, I played all sort of scenarios in my head. If only I had done this, if only I hadn’t done that, what if I would have done something else instead, if I had been someplace else instead. And ….
And one of the things that kept playing in my head: If only Chad had been different, if only I wouldn’t have needed to go through the process of the new law without him. Then Guy wouldn’t have spoken to me, he wouldn’t have believed me to be interested in him and …”
Jason can’t bring himself to add that the rape wouldn’t have happened. He knows it’s not true.
“So… you blame me.” Chad deduces. Both Kevin and Scotty stay quiet, realizing that the conversation is between Chad and Jason.
“I know it’s completely ridiculous, because you are who you are. And I chose to be with you. As you are. You’ve never been interested in politics. You never pretended to be interested in it either. I knew this when I got involved in you. It’s ridiculous to be upset that someone isn’t something that they never pretended to be in the first place.”
“I hear you, baby… but … you blamed me?... That’s … that’s …” Chad can’t find the right word.
“It is foolish. Ignorant. Stupid. Irrelevant. And totally unfair!” Jason sums up, having already his own conclusions.
“You can say that again.” Scotty agrees.
“There’s just such a strong need to blame…. Someone. Anyone. Anyone but yourself. And that is stupid too, because I am to blame. Somehow, somewhere, I did something or reacted in a certain way, that made Guy believe he could get away with it. .. And don’t you all start telling me that I’m wrong…. You know I’m right. I did something to trigger him.”
“But it’s not your fault.” Kevin says. “If you need to blame someone, blame the right person. Blame Guy.”
“What’s the point? I can’t hurt him. I can’t get back at him. There’s nothing I can do… I feel so …. So…..”
“Powerless?” Chad offers. He gets on his knees in front of Jason and takes his hands. “You should have talked to me, tell me how you feel.”
“How can you explain what if feels like to fight a … a ….” Jason searches for the right word again, fist clenched in frustration.
“A ghost?” Kevin says. “You have to let him go, Jason. Let go of Guy. Whatever it was you did, you’ll never get an answer. He has done so much harm already. Let him go. Don’t let him ruin your life any further.”
“It’s stuck in my head like a broken record.” Jason’s eyes fill with tears again.
Kevin seems to hesitate, but then he sighs.
“I’m not sure if this will lead anywhere, .. and you didn’t hear this from me … but with everything I found out, I decided I wanted to know more about what Guy had done in the months prior to his death.
I found out that he had been visiting several doctors. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get any direct answers from them. But, being a lawyer, I know a few people who have less scruples. And so I had someone hack their computers and, completely illegal as it is, that is how I found out, that he had several scans done and all sorts of tests run on his blood.
From the medical files, I’ve managed to get access to, it would seem that Guy thought that he was going crazy. Said he heard voices, that he heard a constant whistling sound and that he had severe headaches… Which is something he had complained about prior to his death.” Kevin admits.
“You think that he was losing his mind?” Scotty asks. Kevin hesitates again. In the files he had read that Guy had also talked about thinking of killing his husband and Kevin wonders secretly if Guy had planned to kill him and then plea ‘temporary insanity’ with the results of the tests as ‘proof’ that there was something wrong with him.
Guy must have known that the rape of Jason wouldn’t remain a secret and that Kevin would be furious. If Guy would have played his cards right he could even have walked away from murder due to self-defense. Kevin shivers.
“I don’t know. I just know that Guy wasn’t himself. And maybe indeed losing his mind.”
There’s a moment of silence as the other men come to terms with Kevin’s words, until Jason asks:
“So, you think that is the reason why he did what he did to me?”
“I’m not looking for excuses…. What he did was horrible and unforgiveable.” Kevin answers.
“But you do think that.. .” Jason starts again. He needs an answer.
“ … that he was losing himself?... Yes, I think he did.” Kevin answers. “Which is when I could finally let go. Because I knew it wasn’t something that I had done, or not done.” Kevin explains.
Scotty senses that Jason is working through quite some emotions, so he pours another tea and hands it to Jason, who wraps his cold hands around the cup. He looks from Kevin to Chad to Scotty, seeing nothing but care and concern in their eyes.
“It won’t be easy…” He says softly.
“I’m here whenever you need me.” Chad answers.
“Really? Then you’ll forgive me?”
“Always, baby, always.”
Jason runs his fingers through Chad’s hair. Chad is still on his knees on the ground, in front of him and looks up at him, with so much love in his eyes, that Jason’s eyes fill with tears again.
“I love you.” Jason whispers. Chad kisses his hands.
“Love your too.”
“And I’m glad that you two got married. I really am. I couldn’t think of a more beautiful couple, that deserve each other more.”
“Well, it’s nice for now. Wait until the press finds out about it though…” Kevin sighs.
They all laugh, knowing that it will become difficult for Kevin and Scotty to keep their marriage a secret for long. Jason runs his fingers through Chad’s hair again and he begins to smile.
“Not if the press has other things to worry about.”
“Are you going to ask your brother to go to war with some foreign country?” Kevin jokes.
“Something slightly more peaceful..” Jason answers, smiling down on Chad. “What would you say, if we gave the press a wedding to concentrate on? “
Chad looks at Jason with disbelief on his face.
“What do you mean?”
“Since you’re already on your knees, there’s no point that I do the same,… Chad Barry, Will you marry me?” Chad’s eyes widen.
“Don’t joke with me on this topic. You know that I’d marry you yesterday…..”
“Well, yesterday I can’t do, but a month from now?” Jason offers.
“Seriously?” Chad’s eyes are wide open. Jason nods. “Oh, yes ! Yes ! Of course I will, I will….”
*****
A FEW MONTHS LATER
*****
“… Happy birthday dear Scotty, Happy birthday to you.” Scotty smiles. Nothing more charming than this Walker/McCallister/Barry choir, he supposes. A huge cake is brought in. The number ‘3’ and ‘0’ are sparkling bright. It must have taken Nora days to make this cake, Scotty absent-mindedly thinks.
He blows out all the candles and Kevin helps him to cut the cake. With everyone laughing and talking, Scotty finally manages to escape the noise and he sits down behind the bar and watches the people in the restaurant. It’s closed for tonight, for a private party. His 30th birthday.
He looks at the people around him. William and Nora have become ‘dad’ and ‘mom’. Somewhere just before Christmas it had slowly crept in into his talking whenever he was with Nora. And when she didn’t seem to mind, he had used it more often. It somehow felt so natural.
Then William had joked that he felt discriminated, because Nora was ‘mom’, but he wasn’t ‘dad’. But what had started as a casual tease back from Scotty, had become part of the daily way of talking for him. It was a process that had been slower than the one with Nora, but it doesn’t mean that his feelings for William are less sincere.
His fear of losing the Walkers had turned out to be unfounded, for the relationships with all of Kevin’s siblings only improved with time. Through Sarah he gained a nephew and a niece. And there’s another one on the way, judging by Julia’s growing belly. He’s glad the IVF program worked so fast with them. Even Tommy no longer kept his distance.
Though Kitty is the most ‘distant’, Scotty has to recognize that the distance is more about not seeing each other that often, rather than a dislike for each other. His friendship with Justin improved from ‘good’ to ‘even better’ and Scotty is thrilled that Justin used his 30th birthday party to introduce his new girlfriend.
In the corner, Chad and Jason are stealing each other’s cake. They’re laughing and smiling, like a young couple, just in love. Their wedding had strengthened their relationship. Scotty knows that Jason is still fighting his ‘ghost’, but not as often as before.
Scotty, Kevin, Chad and Jason had only grown closer to each other and the ties between the Walkers and the McCallisters had become stronger too. He can see the families become more interwoven with each other and it all feels good. And then there’s Kevin of course, that beautiful man who walks up to him, a smile on his face.
“Enjoying yourself?” Kevin asks.
“Yes.” Scotty admits. Kevin takes the cake-dish out of Scotty’s hand and places it on the bar, so he can pull Scotty further behind the bar, out of sight of everyone else, to kiss him.
Kevin’s hands slip under his shirt and Scotty pushes his body closer to Kevin. How come that Kevin can still intoxicate him with one kiss? Shouldn’t he be over that by now? Kevin takes his hand.
“Come on, let’s go upstairs…” Kevin suggests.
“We can’t. We have guests.” Scotty points out between two kisses, contradicting himself by pulling Kevin even closer and making him feel how aroused Scotty is.
“They won’t miss us.” Kevin reasons and it sounds logical enough to Scotty’s mind, so he lets Kevin guide him up the small stairs and into their apartment, straight to the bedroom.
Kevin immediately starts to pull at Scotty’s clothes. All they can hear is their breathing getting increasingly more agitated as clothes come off. Kevin kisses Scotty wherever he can reach and on every available patch of skin that gets uncovered. He pushes Scotty down on the bed.
Though he begins by kissing Scotty’s lips, soon enough his mouth moves down to Scotty’s shoulders, his chest, his stomach. Scotty moves and moans underneath him. He knows where this is going and he enjoys it so much. After all these years, it’s nice that someone is now doing to him, what he had done for others so many times.
Kevin stops right underneath Scotty’s belly-button and teasingly lifts his head.
“Maybe I should leave the rest for later…?” He suggests, his finger sliding casually along Scotty’s swollen cock as if nothing is going on. Scotty smiles, lust in his eyes.
“You know that I hate you for this, right?” He laughs. But then he has to bite his lower lip to not scream out when Kevin, very slowly moves his mouth closer to the tip of Scotty’s cock. If at all possible, Scotty gets even harder, and just the mere thought of Kevin’s lips being only inches way from giving Scotty pleasure, makes Scotty squirm underneath his husband.
“Oh, please, stop playing.” Scotty begs and he pushes Kevin’s head down. The next moment he has to hold on to the sheets, because Kevin doesn’t tease any longer. He doesn’t even start slowly, like he usually does. This time the ‘attack’ is immediate and very direct and Scotty gasps with shock.
Kevin has never before taken him this deep in his mouth and the surprise is rather big on Scotty as well. He begs Kevin not to stop and his hands play with Kevin’s curls, partially wishing he could fuck Kevin’s mouth even deeper, at the same time, he’s aware that he should be careful.
Kevin is using his lips, his tongue and his fingers to drive Scotty crazy. Scotty has no idea if he wants to get closer to Kevin’s mouth, or move away from it. More arousal will drive him crazy with lust, but pulling away will drive him crazy with disappointment.
“Kev, … I’m gonna… I ….” He moans, trying to warn that his orgasm is close, but, Kevin doesn’t back away. “Kev! …” His body tightens and he’s no longer considering anything. His hands shove Kevin’s head down, while he comes, not caring if Kevin is choking or not. All control is lost….
*****
“That was a wonderful birthday gift.” Scotty jokes, running his fingers lazily through Kevin’s hair.
“There’s more to come.” Kevin promises.
“I sure hope so…… Shouldn’t we go back to our guests?” Scotty wonders.
“Just a few more minutes.” Kevin begs, his fingers drawing circles, big and small, on Scotty’s chest and belly. “I’m happy to be here with you. Just us..” Kevin’s voice sounds dreamy in the dark. Scotty smiles. It is indeed peaceful to just be here, in the dark, naked, on the bed.
The noise from downstairs is not that loud and it doesn’t disrupt the calm state of mind that Scotty is in.
“Are we going to our ranch house this weekend?” Scotty asks, the idea suddenly coming up in his head.
“If you wish to go, we’ll go.” Kevin answers. “Don’t you have to work?”
“Angie can take my place.” Scotty shrugs. Now that the house and it's land belongs to them, it gets more and more tempting to be there. Scotty can’t get enough of discovering the place and hearing Kevin’s stories from when he was little.
And it’s becoming increasingly hard to chose where he wants to be. Here at the restaurant, which was his own dream, or at the house, which seems to be the dream of both Kevin and him. He feels how Kevin places a kiss on his chest and he’s about to move in for a kiss on the lips, when a loud banging on the door makes them look up.
“Okay, guys, move up the speed a bit, because your guests are wondering where you guys are….?” They hear Justin yell.
“Yeah, get downstairs fast or we’ll send mom up to get you…” Tommy adds. Kevin rushes, naked, to the door. After checking that there’s only Tommy and Justin, he opens the door a bit.
“You know that I hate you both, right?”
“We know.” Tommy laughs.
“We’ll be right down.” Kevin sighs.
He closes the door and returns to the bedroom, where he finds Scotty, getting dressed again. Scotty laughs when he sees the frustrated and disappointed look on Kevin’s face.
“Hey, don’t worry. Now that I have received all the gifts, let‘s get them out the door, so I can enjoy the rest of what you have planned for me.” He suggests.
“Sounds like a good plan to me.” Kevin grins. Scotty waits for him to be ready as well, but just before they go downstairs, Kevin stops him. “This weekend? Maybe a few days more? Just you and me? Just a quiet little holiday?” He wants to make sure. Scotty nods and it earns him kiss and, with his back against the door, he realizes that they not going to join their guest any time soon….
THE END
Just a quiet holiday 14/14
THIS IS AN AU(=Alternate universe) so things will be most likely different from the original version. Read at your own risk. Don't blame me if you don't like what you read! Not set in any time/place in particular.
By Marea67
About: Kevin & Scotty ( with Chad & Jason dropping by occassionally)
Disclaimer: Merely borrowing the characters, no harm will come to them. (I think...) Written with love not for money.
Rate: I'm going for NC-17 eventually. :)
Summery: Scotty could use a vacation.... So could Kevin...
*****
RECAP:
So, where were we? Kevin/Scotty got quietely married, and the first persons they tell is - naturally - Chad and Jason. Unfortunately, Jason's reaction creates a fight between him and Chad, leaving K/S rather upset. And then the Walkers aren't responding well to their news either....
“Have you lost your mind, Kevin?” Tommy asks.
“Of all the stupid things you could have done.” Kitty adds.
“What were you thinking?!” Sarah wants to know. Kevin stares at his brothers and sisters and he feels in shock. How could they be so against him?
Scotty seems to make himself even smaller than before. Tears sting in his eyes, but he fights them off, not wanting to be seen as some drama-queen.
“Did you really think we would accept this?” Nora shakes her head.
“I can’t believe that you actually thought that you could get away with this.” Justin now puts in his two cents. And by now both Kevin and Scotty are starting to feel sick.
“I agree, this .... This is completely unacceptable.” William says. And he puts his spoon down. A sign that this is the last word spoken on the topic, as far as he is concerned.
*****
“Unacceptable.” William repeats his last word. Scotty is white as a sheet and Kevin is too shocked to say something. Then slowly a smile spreads over William’s face.
“Did you really think that we were going to let you get married with Scotty without a huge party?” He asks.
“Yes, what were you thinking?” Sarah repeats her earlier question. “We’re always looking for a good reason to get drunk and eat lots of food.”
“How could you deprive us of that? I mean, get married all you want, but not throwing a party?…. Unforgiveable!” Tommy adds.
“Then…. You don’t mind that we got married?” Scotty asks, his emotions are by now all over the place.
“Of course not. We’ve been hoping for this to happen since we met you, when you took over Saul’s restaurant.” Nora smiles.
“It was about time you did propose to him. He’s a gem…” Saul grins at Kevin.
“Sorry, if we startled you…” Justin says, the first to notice that Scotty in particular seems thrown over what just happened. “When dad told us this afternoon, we decided to play a little prank on you guys. We assumed that you wanted to tell us tonight, so we kept interrupting you. And then dad would go all ‘ Bad report-card, Justin’ on you and we would do as if we wouldn’t approve and….” J
ustin sees that Scotty is getting very upset and he adds sheepishly.
“… It was just a joke. Honestly.” By now, Scotty’s nerves are completely gone. He can’t stop the tears if he tried, and not even Kevin’s arms around him, can calm him down.
“… A joke that rather backfired, apparently.” Tommy concludes dryly and he gives Scotty the box of tissues, while Nora pours Scotty some water.
The entire family has now gathered around Scotty to offer some comfort, all a bit uncomfortable to see Scotty so upset over their joke.
“I’m so sorry…” Scotty finally manages to say… “It’s just that… after this afternoon… with Chad and Jason… I just…. I couldn’t ….”
William looks at Kevin, a question on his face.
“We went to tell them first. We figured that, because they are special to Scotty and me and because they actually brought us together, that we should tell them first…. We thought they’d be happy for us. Jason wasn’t and what he said made Chad angry and then Chad walked away. So they fought over what we did and …”
“It was no joke. Jason really didn’t approve….” Scotty manages to say. “I was afraid for how you would react, but Kevin was convinced that you would be happy for us… and then…”
“I’m sorry, honey, we didn’t know that.” Nora ruffles Scotty’s hair in a motherly way.
“I would never have wanted to come between Kevin and his family.” Scotty says.
“And his family will not come between you and Kevin.” William says, squeezing Scotty’s shoulder.
“We’re happy you’re a part of this family.” Kitty says and she hugs Scotty.
“Of course, we are, you silly.” Sarah copies her sister’s reaction.
“Yes, you’re more than welcome to the family.” Justin’s hug is tight and sincere and it reminds Scotty of how strong their friendship has grown over the last few months.
Tommy, always the man of few words, doesn’t say anything, but, the fact that he too hugs Scotty is all the ‘welcome to the family’ that Scotty needs to get from him.
“This however doesn’t alter the fact that it’s still unacceptable that there won’t be a big party….” William points out, with a nod at his son Kevin. “I understand your reasons for wishing to remain quiet. They are good reasons, but we’ve always played open card with everyone. Scotty’s past in prostitution is not a secret. We all knew about him and what he was, when we allowed him to be your company during your holiday.
If Scotty indeed had the clientele that Chad and Jason, be it in vague terms, told us about, then there are plenty of people who will want him to be happy in his marriage and they will keep their mouths shut about how well they know him. It will perhaps spike some interest and then it will go away.”
“I agree with dad. Scotty, we can all understand you hesitation, but the more casual we are about this, the less attention it will get. The harder we try to ignore its existence the bigger the expected scandal can get.” As a PR-agent Kitty knows better than anyone else how secrets can backfire once discovered. “So, I would suggest…. Party!!”
“Party! Party! Party!....” Tommy and Justin begin to chant and Sarah and Kitty add their voices quickly too and when finally Nora and Saul begin to chant as well, William gives his son and son-in-law a grin. He raises his eyebrows in question. Kevin looks at Scotty.
“Party it is…” Scotty surrenders with a smile on his face.
*****
THE NEXT MORNING
*****
“I’m so sorry to have bothered you. I’m sure that this was not the way you had intended to spend your wedding-night. I mean, with a guy sleeping on your couch in the room next door.” Chad apologizes, as he enters the kitchen-area, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, after he had had a long hot shower.
He’s still great to look at. Something that doesn’t escape the attention of either Kevin or Scotty. But gorgeous as he is, the dark lines under his eyes betray that he hasn’t slept much last night. Scotty is sure though that he’ll feel better much better after a good breakfast.
He assumes correctly that Chad had spent most of his night drinking. He hands Chad his pants, but gives Chad one of his own t-shirts, because Chad’s is dirty.
“It’s alright, sweetie.” Scotty answers. “Kevin and I were too exhausted for ‘celebrating’ anyway.”
“I’m so sorry.” Chad says again. “I had been driving around, then got drunk, but then, when the cap was supposed to take me home… I just didn’t know where else to go.” Chad shakes his head.
“Scotty is right. We’re not upset or angry and I’m glad you came to us.” Kevin says.
Chad sits down on one of the kitchen-chairs and he rubs his temples as if he has a bad headache. Kevin thinks that he’s trying to not to cry. There’s nothing left of the usually so cheerful Chad. Kevin has always suspected that Chad’s childlike naivety is just an act and that his feelings run much deeper than everyone knows.
Chad had had a complicated life before he had met Jason and he had lost his innocence quite a long time ago. Yet, somehow he had always managed to continue to believe in the good in people, in giving people a second chance. Like Jason, Chad was a kind, generous and forgiving person.
And Chad and Jason had run into very few problems. They relationship had always been a calm one with very few fights. Jason was a firm believer of the idea that if you tried to hold someone too tight, then they’d want to break free, so he had always given Chad great freedom and Chad had done the same for Jason.
He had always believed that Jason loved him, despite his past. Whenever he had doubts if he was good enough for Jason, Jason had told him that he was. Which is why Jason’s words had hit Chad so hard the day before. It had felt as if the words directed at Kevin and about Scotty, had really Jason speaking his mind about Chad to himself. And he had been lying for many years.
The sound of a bell takes the attention of all three men.
“Who is it?” Scotty asks, immediately checking the security-system.
“It’s me, Jason. I want to talk to you.” Scotty looks at Kevin and Chad.
“I’m not here.” Chad says.
“Go in our bedroom and stay there.” Kevin orders Chad. They quickly gather all Chad’s belongings and the blanket he had used, while Scotty asks Jason for just a few seconds and pretends it so Kevin and he can get dressed. He presses the ‘open’ button and the front-door opens. It will still take Jason at least 2 minutes to get upstairs.
Scotty’s eyes scan the room for any evidence that Chad is here, but the only thing he sees is the extra cup, which he quickly puts in the micro-wave oven, so it’s out of sight. Kevin opens the door and he lets Jason in. They expect Jason’s first question to be the question if Chad is here, but instead Jason just raises his hands in a sign of helplessness.
“I came here to say ‘sorry’. I was very rude yesterday and neither of you deserved that… And just so you know. I love you both and I want you both to be happy. And … of course… If you choose to be with Scotty and you love him, then to hell with what anyone else thinks or says. You can’t fight love. If it’s there, it’s there.
I’ve loved Chad from the day we got introduced to each other… I’ve known from the first second that I could never love another man the way that I love him. So, I can imagine how you two must feel…. It’s clear that you love each other. And I’m so sorry. Can you please forgive me?”
Kevin looks at Scotty, whose face softens when he hears Jason’s apology. This is the open, vulnerable, gentle Jason he knows and loves.
“Of course, I can.” He says and he walks up to Jason to hug him. Jason immediately begins to cry and Kevin makes him sit down on the couch, while Scotty gets Jason some tea.
“Thank you.” Jason accepts the cup and he laughs cynically. “I’m sorry, I just to be such a drama-queen lately, crying for no reason, all the time.”
“Not exactly for no reason. These last few months must have been emotionally draining. Have you slept at all last night?”
Jason shakes his head at Scotty's question.
“I can’t reach Chad. He’s not picking up his phone. I have no idea where he could be and I didn’t want anyone to know that we had a fight, so I didn’t dare call anyone. But I’m worried about him. And about us. And if he’ll ever be able to forgive me.”
Kevin looks over Jason’s head towards the bedroom, where Chad stands, dressed by now, hands in his pockets, clearly not knowing what to do.
“Do you love him?” Scotty asks.
“Oh, yes! More than he’ll ever know.” Jason sighs.
Kevin makes a gesture with his head for Chad to come closer. It seems to break Chad’s indecisiveness.
“I’m here.” Chad says. “Kevin and Scotty were kind enough to give me their couch to sleep on last night. Not that I slept much either…”
“I’m sorry.” Jason whispers and there’s so much pain in his eyes, that Chad forgets everything else. He holds Jason as tightly as he can and he lets Jason cry out his pain. Scotty’s eyes meet Kevin’s. And it’s all clear to Scotty:
“I think this is more than we can handle on an empty stomach. We should eat.” He says dryly.
*****
“I truly am sorry for what I said.” Jason brings the conversation back on the topic they all tried to avoid during their breakfast together. But Scotty had been right. Coffee, a good meal and casual conversation, no matter how forced sometimes, had calmed all of them down. “And I think I owe you some explanation.”
“You don’t have to.” Scotty answers immediately.
“But I do… There are so many things in my head right now that I feel like it’s about to explode. All the therapy has unlocked so many feelings, thoughts and memories that may have nothing to do with what happened between Guy and me.
These last few months, I’ve lived through and dealt with so many hang-ups, issues, insecurities and pains that I’m so tired of it. It created so much anger, that I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I know there’s no one to blame but I desperately needed to rid of my anger….
My latest guilt-trip was about trying to find out where I had screwed up and, in doing so, I played all sort of scenarios in my head. If only I had done this, if only I hadn’t done that, what if I would have done something else instead, if I had been someplace else instead. And ….
And one of the things that kept playing in my head: If only Chad had been different, if only I wouldn’t have needed to go through the process of the new law without him. Then Guy wouldn’t have spoken to me, he wouldn’t have believed me to be interested in him and …”
Jason can’t bring himself to add that the rape wouldn’t have happened. He knows it’s not true.
“So… you blame me.” Chad deduces. Both Kevin and Scotty stay quiet, realizing that the conversation is between Chad and Jason.
“I know it’s completely ridiculous, because you are who you are. And I chose to be with you. As you are. You’ve never been interested in politics. You never pretended to be interested in it either. I knew this when I got involved in you. It’s ridiculous to be upset that someone isn’t something that they never pretended to be in the first place.”
“I hear you, baby… but … you blamed me?... That’s … that’s …” Chad can’t find the right word.
“It is foolish. Ignorant. Stupid. Irrelevant. And totally unfair!” Jason sums up, having already his own conclusions.
“You can say that again.” Scotty agrees.
“There’s just such a strong need to blame…. Someone. Anyone. Anyone but yourself. And that is stupid too, because I am to blame. Somehow, somewhere, I did something or reacted in a certain way, that made Guy believe he could get away with it. .. And don’t you all start telling me that I’m wrong…. You know I’m right. I did something to trigger him.”
“But it’s not your fault.” Kevin says. “If you need to blame someone, blame the right person. Blame Guy.”
“What’s the point? I can’t hurt him. I can’t get back at him. There’s nothing I can do… I feel so …. So…..”
“Powerless?” Chad offers. He gets on his knees in front of Jason and takes his hands. “You should have talked to me, tell me how you feel.”
“How can you explain what if feels like to fight a … a ….” Jason searches for the right word again, fist clenched in frustration.
“A ghost?” Kevin says. “You have to let him go, Jason. Let go of Guy. Whatever it was you did, you’ll never get an answer. He has done so much harm already. Let him go. Don’t let him ruin your life any further.”
“It’s stuck in my head like a broken record.” Jason’s eyes fill with tears again.
Kevin seems to hesitate, but then he sighs.
“I’m not sure if this will lead anywhere, .. and you didn’t hear this from me … but with everything I found out, I decided I wanted to know more about what Guy had done in the months prior to his death.
I found out that he had been visiting several doctors. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get any direct answers from them. But, being a lawyer, I know a few people who have less scruples. And so I had someone hack their computers and, completely illegal as it is, that is how I found out, that he had several scans done and all sorts of tests run on his blood.
From the medical files, I’ve managed to get access to, it would seem that Guy thought that he was going crazy. Said he heard voices, that he heard a constant whistling sound and that he had severe headaches… Which is something he had complained about prior to his death.” Kevin admits.
“You think that he was losing his mind?” Scotty asks. Kevin hesitates again. In the files he had read that Guy had also talked about thinking of killing his husband and Kevin wonders secretly if Guy had planned to kill him and then plea ‘temporary insanity’ with the results of the tests as ‘proof’ that there was something wrong with him.
Guy must have known that the rape of Jason wouldn’t remain a secret and that Kevin would be furious. If Guy would have played his cards right he could even have walked away from murder due to self-defense. Kevin shivers.
“I don’t know. I just know that Guy wasn’t himself. And maybe indeed losing his mind.”
There’s a moment of silence as the other men come to terms with Kevin’s words, until Jason asks:
“So, you think that is the reason why he did what he did to me?”
“I’m not looking for excuses…. What he did was horrible and unforgiveable.” Kevin answers.
“But you do think that.. .” Jason starts again. He needs an answer.
“ … that he was losing himself?... Yes, I think he did.” Kevin answers. “Which is when I could finally let go. Because I knew it wasn’t something that I had done, or not done.” Kevin explains.
Scotty senses that Jason is working through quite some emotions, so he pours another tea and hands it to Jason, who wraps his cold hands around the cup. He looks from Kevin to Chad to Scotty, seeing nothing but care and concern in their eyes.
“It won’t be easy…” He says softly.
“I’m here whenever you need me.” Chad answers.
“Really? Then you’ll forgive me?”
“Always, baby, always.”
Jason runs his fingers through Chad’s hair. Chad is still on his knees on the ground, in front of him and looks up at him, with so much love in his eyes, that Jason’s eyes fill with tears again.
“I love you.” Jason whispers. Chad kisses his hands.
“Love your too.”
“And I’m glad that you two got married. I really am. I couldn’t think of a more beautiful couple, that deserve each other more.”
“Well, it’s nice for now. Wait until the press finds out about it though…” Kevin sighs.
They all laugh, knowing that it will become difficult for Kevin and Scotty to keep their marriage a secret for long. Jason runs his fingers through Chad’s hair again and he begins to smile.
“Not if the press has other things to worry about.”
“Are you going to ask your brother to go to war with some foreign country?” Kevin jokes.
“Something slightly more peaceful..” Jason answers, smiling down on Chad. “What would you say, if we gave the press a wedding to concentrate on? “
Chad looks at Jason with disbelief on his face.
“What do you mean?”
“Since you’re already on your knees, there’s no point that I do the same,… Chad Barry, Will you marry me?” Chad’s eyes widen.
“Don’t joke with me on this topic. You know that I’d marry you yesterday…..”
“Well, yesterday I can’t do, but a month from now?” Jason offers.
“Seriously?” Chad’s eyes are wide open. Jason nods. “Oh, yes ! Yes ! Of course I will, I will….”
*****
A FEW MONTHS LATER
*****
“… Happy birthday dear Scotty, Happy birthday to you.” Scotty smiles. Nothing more charming than this Walker/McCallister/Barry choir, he supposes. A huge cake is brought in. The number ‘3’ and ‘0’ are sparkling bright. It must have taken Nora days to make this cake, Scotty absent-mindedly thinks.
He blows out all the candles and Kevin helps him to cut the cake. With everyone laughing and talking, Scotty finally manages to escape the noise and he sits down behind the bar and watches the people in the restaurant. It’s closed for tonight, for a private party. His 30th birthday.
He looks at the people around him. William and Nora have become ‘dad’ and ‘mom’. Somewhere just before Christmas it had slowly crept in into his talking whenever he was with Nora. And when she didn’t seem to mind, he had used it more often. It somehow felt so natural.
Then William had joked that he felt discriminated, because Nora was ‘mom’, but he wasn’t ‘dad’. But what had started as a casual tease back from Scotty, had become part of the daily way of talking for him. It was a process that had been slower than the one with Nora, but it doesn’t mean that his feelings for William are less sincere.
His fear of losing the Walkers had turned out to be unfounded, for the relationships with all of Kevin’s siblings only improved with time. Through Sarah he gained a nephew and a niece. And there’s another one on the way, judging by Julia’s growing belly. He’s glad the IVF program worked so fast with them. Even Tommy no longer kept his distance.
Though Kitty is the most ‘distant’, Scotty has to recognize that the distance is more about not seeing each other that often, rather than a dislike for each other. His friendship with Justin improved from ‘good’ to ‘even better’ and Scotty is thrilled that Justin used his 30th birthday party to introduce his new girlfriend.
In the corner, Chad and Jason are stealing each other’s cake. They’re laughing and smiling, like a young couple, just in love. Their wedding had strengthened their relationship. Scotty knows that Jason is still fighting his ‘ghost’, but not as often as before.
Scotty, Kevin, Chad and Jason had only grown closer to each other and the ties between the Walkers and the McCallisters had become stronger too. He can see the families become more interwoven with each other and it all feels good. And then there’s Kevin of course, that beautiful man who walks up to him, a smile on his face.
“Enjoying yourself?” Kevin asks.
“Yes.” Scotty admits. Kevin takes the cake-dish out of Scotty’s hand and places it on the bar, so he can pull Scotty further behind the bar, out of sight of everyone else, to kiss him.
Kevin’s hands slip under his shirt and Scotty pushes his body closer to Kevin. How come that Kevin can still intoxicate him with one kiss? Shouldn’t he be over that by now? Kevin takes his hand.
“Come on, let’s go upstairs…” Kevin suggests.
“We can’t. We have guests.” Scotty points out between two kisses, contradicting himself by pulling Kevin even closer and making him feel how aroused Scotty is.
“They won’t miss us.” Kevin reasons and it sounds logical enough to Scotty’s mind, so he lets Kevin guide him up the small stairs and into their apartment, straight to the bedroom.
Kevin immediately starts to pull at Scotty’s clothes. All they can hear is their breathing getting increasingly more agitated as clothes come off. Kevin kisses Scotty wherever he can reach and on every available patch of skin that gets uncovered. He pushes Scotty down on the bed.
Though he begins by kissing Scotty’s lips, soon enough his mouth moves down to Scotty’s shoulders, his chest, his stomach. Scotty moves and moans underneath him. He knows where this is going and he enjoys it so much. After all these years, it’s nice that someone is now doing to him, what he had done for others so many times.
Kevin stops right underneath Scotty’s belly-button and teasingly lifts his head.
“Maybe I should leave the rest for later…?” He suggests, his finger sliding casually along Scotty’s swollen cock as if nothing is going on. Scotty smiles, lust in his eyes.
“You know that I hate you for this, right?” He laughs. But then he has to bite his lower lip to not scream out when Kevin, very slowly moves his mouth closer to the tip of Scotty’s cock. If at all possible, Scotty gets even harder, and just the mere thought of Kevin’s lips being only inches way from giving Scotty pleasure, makes Scotty squirm underneath his husband.
“Oh, please, stop playing.” Scotty begs and he pushes Kevin’s head down. The next moment he has to hold on to the sheets, because Kevin doesn’t tease any longer. He doesn’t even start slowly, like he usually does. This time the ‘attack’ is immediate and very direct and Scotty gasps with shock.
Kevin has never before taken him this deep in his mouth and the surprise is rather big on Scotty as well. He begs Kevin not to stop and his hands play with Kevin’s curls, partially wishing he could fuck Kevin’s mouth even deeper, at the same time, he’s aware that he should be careful.
Kevin is using his lips, his tongue and his fingers to drive Scotty crazy. Scotty has no idea if he wants to get closer to Kevin’s mouth, or move away from it. More arousal will drive him crazy with lust, but pulling away will drive him crazy with disappointment.
“Kev, … I’m gonna… I ….” He moans, trying to warn that his orgasm is close, but, Kevin doesn’t back away. “Kev! …” His body tightens and he’s no longer considering anything. His hands shove Kevin’s head down, while he comes, not caring if Kevin is choking or not. All control is lost….
*****
“That was a wonderful birthday gift.” Scotty jokes, running his fingers lazily through Kevin’s hair.
“There’s more to come.” Kevin promises.
“I sure hope so…… Shouldn’t we go back to our guests?” Scotty wonders.
“Just a few more minutes.” Kevin begs, his fingers drawing circles, big and small, on Scotty’s chest and belly. “I’m happy to be here with you. Just us..” Kevin’s voice sounds dreamy in the dark. Scotty smiles. It is indeed peaceful to just be here, in the dark, naked, on the bed.
The noise from downstairs is not that loud and it doesn’t disrupt the calm state of mind that Scotty is in.
“Are we going to our ranch house this weekend?” Scotty asks, the idea suddenly coming up in his head.
“If you wish to go, we’ll go.” Kevin answers. “Don’t you have to work?”
“Angie can take my place.” Scotty shrugs. Now that the house and it's land belongs to them, it gets more and more tempting to be there. Scotty can’t get enough of discovering the place and hearing Kevin’s stories from when he was little.
And it’s becoming increasingly hard to chose where he wants to be. Here at the restaurant, which was his own dream, or at the house, which seems to be the dream of both Kevin and him. He feels how Kevin places a kiss on his chest and he’s about to move in for a kiss on the lips, when a loud banging on the door makes them look up.
“Okay, guys, move up the speed a bit, because your guests are wondering where you guys are….?” They hear Justin yell.
“Yeah, get downstairs fast or we’ll send mom up to get you…” Tommy adds. Kevin rushes, naked, to the door. After checking that there’s only Tommy and Justin, he opens the door a bit.
“You know that I hate you both, right?”
“We know.” Tommy laughs.
“We’ll be right down.” Kevin sighs.
He closes the door and returns to the bedroom, where he finds Scotty, getting dressed again. Scotty laughs when he sees the frustrated and disappointed look on Kevin’s face.
“Hey, don’t worry. Now that I have received all the gifts, let‘s get them out the door, so I can enjoy the rest of what you have planned for me.” He suggests.
“Sounds like a good plan to me.” Kevin grins. Scotty waits for him to be ready as well, but just before they go downstairs, Kevin stops him. “This weekend? Maybe a few days more? Just you and me? Just a quiet little holiday?” He wants to make sure. Scotty nods and it earns him kiss and, with his back against the door, he realizes that they not going to join their guest any time soon….
THE END