schmod
so much in me wishes to issue in the form of words out of me and they come out in dribs and drabs not the way they usually do but it's just the way they do sometimes especially mostly most probably in times of sweet music an overactive mind a yearning desire what-to-call-it maybe addiction? to the need for someone to recognise my presence and maybe appreciate me love me caress me make me want to give myself without second-guessing myself and in these moments yes sweet sweet music makes me sick drunk even completely intoxicated i think i speak i believe like the very words that ride on the melody sad songs don't make me cry they just bring the tears right to the eyes and stop hold it back so my head feels heavy and if i even as much as tilt my head it falls to the side swish swosh yet still nothing comes out so i give up trying like how i give up trying or at least convince myself to give up but i never really do give up hope to know you more to actually get to be beside you to maybe fall in love with you without an erect penis maybe get into your pants because i really really like what's really really inside not just inside the pants but inside right inside you and well i don't even know who you is who is that you i'm talking about i don't even know not cause i ain't bovvered but i will never know will i i will never know and that makes me sick and so full of these words once again which wish to issue in the form of words out of me but still never manage to come as full complete comprehensible sentences they come in disjointed facebook personal messages or verbose streams like what you see now but still after all this i can't actually say it is all out or that everything i say is what i am feeling right now because after all really we are human aren't we and we can never simplify and thus insult ourselves by reducing the language of the heart never conquered never fully understood or written academically about into just plain words which make sense only because they stick together in phrases and sentences and paragraphs but who can really put a full-stop to all this so at the end of the day we all prefer to add a smiley face or the seductively and unfortunately appropriate question mark isn't it?