One of those "can't sleep" impulses
It's funny how I always write about you on here... like I'm trying to be secretive or something. In reality, I know that you will eventually read this, just as well as you will know its relevance. Assuming that all of this is correct, you could probably call me a coward-- but a blatant coward, in a sense. So predictably, here it goes again.
I think of you a lot. Sometimes it makes the time go faster. Sometimes it gets me to sleep, keeping other thoughts at bay. I often lie to myself, pretend that I'm actually brave enough to try. (Try what?) Sometimes I pick up my phone, watch myself even dial your number. All I ever end up feeling is my own ridiculousness. I never thought I could be so weak, to be honest. You probably think I am, too. I disappoint myself.
Regardless, I fumble my words in the end, and all I can ever be is this coward. I may not be what you're looking for or ever will look for, but I'm here. Aren't I...?
I think of you a lot. Sometimes it makes the time go faster. Sometimes it gets me to sleep, keeping other thoughts at bay. I often lie to myself, pretend that I'm actually brave enough to try. (Try what?) Sometimes I pick up my phone, watch myself even dial your number. All I ever end up feeling is my own ridiculousness. I never thought I could be so weak, to be honest. You probably think I am, too. I disappoint myself.
Regardless, I fumble my words in the end, and all I can ever be is this coward. I may not be what you're looking for or ever will look for, but I'm here. Aren't I...?