Remembrance
Hi, Mom,
Yet another year has passed by without you, but not without many thoughts of you.
Like every year, there’s been changes around me. Your granddaughters continue to amaze me as they grow up in this crazy world. They’re now teenagers in a world vastly different from my own teen years. There is never a doubt in my mind that you would love each of them for who they are becoming and would support them wholeheartedly along the way, something that I make sure to tell them since you’re not here for them.
Longtime close friend C moved back home to be closer to her parents, which just gives me another reason to travel and visit - not that I needed more, of course. She and I still joke about the memories of Dad answering the door in his bathrobe and how she’s the only one who refused to open his can of pop for him. Right now, she’s helping another friend, S, acclimate to the new environment that is MN, making sure she gets her ‘first’s,’ including a visit to the state fair that you loved as well.
Brother C learned of new challenges of his own that are just starting now and expected to have some impact for the rest of his life, though exactly what isn’t known and probably, truly, never will be. Still, he has my support, even with the physical distance between us. Dad remains to be Dad, finding ways to keep himself active and a part of the world. I can imagine you watching him as he plays cards with his friends, half-exasperated and half-amused as he ‘discusses’ various things in his unique style that frustrates the other parties involved.
I know you’re smiling at seeing the new people I’m letting into my life, because you did worry about me being so shy and such a loner growing up. It’s a struggle at times, navigating the world of people when I’d rather just be left alone to get through things on my own, but I’m working on getting better about it.
Today is a work day for me, the last one for this week. I’ll go in and work as hard as I usually do, displaying the work ethic that both you and Dad created in me. I expect a busy day as usual, especially one where I lose track of time and the day speeds by. I’ll treat myself to the frozen coffee drink you loved (and I do, too, so really no hardship there) at the end of it, thinking of all the times you enjoyed one as well.
Tomorrow, I’ll buy some flowers to remind me of the random times that I brought you flowers to have around the house. I’ll get my errands done so I can spend time sewing using your machine and actually finish some projects. I’ll have a favorite of yours for dinner - not sure if it will be the chicken chow mein that was your standard order for Chinese, some form of fish or seafood for your tastes for lobster and walleye or even just plain old greasy fast food that Dad still eats today.
I love you, Mom, and I will always miss you.
Link to last year’s letter: https://marauderswolf.livejournal.com/151530.html