In Remembrance
Hi, Mom
Another year flew by, making it nine years - they’re starting to blur together, but it doesn’t dull my thoughts of you, especially on this day. While life has moved on and all of us have moved with it, you’re still in our memories and our conversations.
I write this while back in California, here for some temporary work yet again and holding out hope that something permanent will come my way. It’s time I made a home for myself, a place just for me where I can be who I am without the demands of others. I’ve struggled so much this past year - losing the trust I had in people I considered my friends as well as my family once again, moving once again (my poor car is holding out, but not by much) and facing new challenges to once again find my solid foundation to build upon - that I know it must hurt both you and Dad to watch me, your daughter. I’m trying, Mom. It’s not enough - it’s never enough - but it’s all I can say. I’m trying.
It’s Labor Day weekend, the last days of the Minnesota State Fair and a place of lots of memories. I still make sure your niece and nephew, as well as your granddaughters now, get their Christmas ornaments every year. I haven’t heard much from your niece and nephew this past year, so I can only hope everything is going well. Your granddaughters are growing, too - one is starting kindergarten this year, something I know you would have been proud to see. They are good kids, but also very much the sports fan like their father. I think you and I would have balanced that out with other stuff, like making cookies at Christmas and getting them involved in sewing and being creative.
I kept a few of the patterns you had - the doll clothes for Barbies and Cabbage Patch Kids and the Raggedy Ann & Andy ones - and I’m hoping Dad will be able to find them amongst my boxes of stuff in storage there. I know those patterns still exist and I can go out and get ‘new’ ones, but I want to use yours. You made Raggedy Ann & Andy and a lot of doll clothes that I gave to Aunt J years ago using those patterns. Perhaps it’s overly sentimental, but I want your granddaughters to have them as well. They will only know you from stories and pictures, but they will know about their Grandma Bonnie and how much she loves them.
I love you, Mom. That will never change. And I miss you.
Link to last year’s letter: http://marauderswolf.livejournal.com/144795.html
Another year flew by, making it nine years - they’re starting to blur together, but it doesn’t dull my thoughts of you, especially on this day. While life has moved on and all of us have moved with it, you’re still in our memories and our conversations.
I write this while back in California, here for some temporary work yet again and holding out hope that something permanent will come my way. It’s time I made a home for myself, a place just for me where I can be who I am without the demands of others. I’ve struggled so much this past year - losing the trust I had in people I considered my friends as well as my family once again, moving once again (my poor car is holding out, but not by much) and facing new challenges to once again find my solid foundation to build upon - that I know it must hurt both you and Dad to watch me, your daughter. I’m trying, Mom. It’s not enough - it’s never enough - but it’s all I can say. I’m trying.
It’s Labor Day weekend, the last days of the Minnesota State Fair and a place of lots of memories. I still make sure your niece and nephew, as well as your granddaughters now, get their Christmas ornaments every year. I haven’t heard much from your niece and nephew this past year, so I can only hope everything is going well. Your granddaughters are growing, too - one is starting kindergarten this year, something I know you would have been proud to see. They are good kids, but also very much the sports fan like their father. I think you and I would have balanced that out with other stuff, like making cookies at Christmas and getting them involved in sewing and being creative.
I kept a few of the patterns you had - the doll clothes for Barbies and Cabbage Patch Kids and the Raggedy Ann & Andy ones - and I’m hoping Dad will be able to find them amongst my boxes of stuff in storage there. I know those patterns still exist and I can go out and get ‘new’ ones, but I want to use yours. You made Raggedy Ann & Andy and a lot of doll clothes that I gave to Aunt J years ago using those patterns. Perhaps it’s overly sentimental, but I want your granddaughters to have them as well. They will only know you from stories and pictures, but they will know about their Grandma Bonnie and how much she loves them.
I love you, Mom. That will never change. And I miss you.
Link to last year’s letter: http://marauderswolf.livejournal.com/144795.html