Sunday Bloody Sunday
The black flag of Michael, an Ode..
My body was shaking. The palm was sweating--the whole body was sweating. Yet still shivering and trembling. i hyperventilated, and was suffocating, silently where i was seated. I remembered the world revolved so slow around me. And my eyes were still transfixed on my TV screen. The actual reality on lap 37 that is the hardest I ever have to swallow. I couldn’t even say anything. I closed my eyes and only succeeded a whisper of “oh no…..God, please...”
The energy that needed to pump my tears out were drained some places else.
A surge of exasperation, anguish, torment, and frailty took over.
My body and mind had no room for other emotions.
I froze and was bleeding inside. Fried.
All this happened at the same time at a span of time I still can not fathom up till now.
What happened?
Then something caught on TV.
Michael Schumacher ended the long walk from his lifeless car to pit. There, came a view that would then bring me to honest tears.
We saw him shook hands, embraced, and consoled each and every one of the pitcrews.
We saw him motivating.
We saw him being there.
Corny? suit yourself.
This is the man people condemn as an arrogant bastard.
This is the man people take as “The cold-machine Ferrari produced and put at their racing cars”
I hope you’re not in a tight rush.
As I have a little story of how, previous to Suzuka 2006, I always saw michael as just being that exactly-cold and cagey..
This I never admit to anyone before, not even to my pillow.(or to the tiny Michael Schumacher inside my F399 car replica)
I adore the man completely, so I never hold back any accusations that I might have on him.
When i saw him as a dominating cheat, i don't deny.
but I am obsessed.
It’s very easy for me to be. Because from the very start, the distance I have between me and him I measure as a distance between a human being and a god. Not THE God. god, as in greek gods and goddess.
The lack of warmth and humanity I had suspected in his public appearances I had to forgive in a form of oblivion of how a person, an f1 driver should react when cornered with sharp statements from other drivers. Of how his personal life, were really his goddamn business.
Other people shrug and looked away, when they find cold truths about people they supposedly worship.
I, in the other hand, succumb to his detachment and ‘arrogance’.
I stayed, and swallowed any facts-good, bad, ugly, sweet, sordid or enigmatic- as bearable as I possibly could.
Thus, I also saw him as no-nonsense driver that gave it a go at any possible challenge, professionalism and focus, flat-out. He won’t stop, not until the only record he hadn’t broken is his own. Someone that makes comentators use the word ‘millimeter precission”.
That much, I believe.
I also believe that this ‘god’ makes all the obvious mistakes.
For years, I question his human side silently.
Why, Michael?
Why did you and rubens raced at Indy 2005?
Why let the team-order got that obvious at Austria 2002?
Why Indy 2002, hockenheim 2001, Nurburgring 2001?
Why shunted JV at Jerez 97?
What’s with Rascasse?
Why, the silence afterwards?
Why the silence every time?
Why you say nothing when they go right at you?
Why, if I didn’t know any better,
It would be dead easy to hate a Michael Schumacher?
So I thank the program Director of the F1 racing live broadcast, to make the decission to air the exact scene I mentioned earlier.
The image, without which I would never have seen the smile. The smile that obviously were rather painful to bend.
The smile that reminded me of what an F1 team should be like.
(i.e: No pointing fingers, when you know you’re off to other team next season)
The smile that brought me down to pieces...
Now I can see clear where he stands
He’s just another team mate.
In a team of more than 500 people to feed.
Just another bloke in a red fire-proof overall.
For the obvious reasons, Michael Schumacher’s 2006 title race is as much as over.
But for someone that maybe the most insignificant,-me, There’s a completion of faith.
That for me,
there isn’t a slightest doubt, on who’s the best, in the world, ever!!
Farewell Michael.
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