Superheroes And RegularLifeHeroes (Part 1)
Title: Superheroes And RegularLifeHeroes
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Warning: Not-an-angel!Cas, general Supernatural horror ( nothing scary)
Rating: 18+
Spoilers: general season 1, AU,
Word count: 5, 647
Summary: It was yet another small town, settled in another flee bag motel, their dad gone on another job, and yet another high school for the boys. But, what Dean didn't know, two new experiences awaited there. His first hunt alone, and his first love.
It was yet another small town, settled in another flee bag motel, their dad gone on another job, and yet another high school for the boys.
Sam was 15 and he was having his first day of junior high for the third time. Dean felt sort of sad that, while Sam had his very first day of high school he was actually very happy and excited to try it out, but now, having to go over the motions he was just angry. Angry to his dad for making them do this, and angry at Dean for letting this happen.
So, now, all that Dean could do was to try to cheer up his brother and toughen him up a bit, turn that bitch face around to one of determination.
Still, Sam was if anything, highly stubborn more so than himself and nothing could really brighten that look on his face.
So Dean settled for just getting him there in the Impala his father left him, get him to class, and watch over him in the hallways make sure he doesn't get bullied. And maybe even score some hot chick, who knows. Hey, it was his fourth and last year of jumping from school to school, he was allowed to have some fun.
Change to Dean was never new.
Every school he changed looked exactly the same.
Had the same football field, different team, had the same building, different name, had the same chattering, laughing and squealing demented children, different names, had the same classes, different teachers, had the same chairs, different seat.
So walking to his designated classroom, Dean wasn't feeling nervous, instead he felt bold. If he was gonna have to go through a couple of days in this hellhole than he was gonna do it laughing all the way.
He didn't bother knocking on the door, and stepped in with a casual swagger, cutting the teacher mid sentence.
"Oh, I gather you are Mister Winchester? Decided to finally join us?" -The lady looked old enough to demand authority, but not old enough to receive it from Dean.
And hasn't he heard that line before. Really, do teachers like, have an internet forum where they all meat up and share their highly interesting, vivid stories of how they made the latest kid embarrassed?
"Well, I wouldn't wanna leave a sweetheart like you waitin'." -Dean retorted with a smirk. And yes, having to endure the same unoriginal lines sent by various teachers, he came with a load of original replies.
His statement arose a loud 'Ooooooh' from the crowd of children. He didn't bother with spearing them a glance, he had the idea of the arrangement they took. Geeks with braces front and center, blond bombshell trying to get good grades so her parents would 'like, stop bitching' somewhere behind them, a couple of douchebags around her, lonely stoner next to the window watching mindlessly at the trees seeing God knows what in them, and Dean himself probably out back next to the stoner or the ugly girl everybody avoids.
And by next class, said blond bombshell would grab his arm and pull him to sit next to her.
Yeah, so says the script.
"When you talk to me, Mister Winchester, you will talk with respect!" -She rose her voice, her eyes widening comically having not expected the disrespect.
"Ya know, people best start earnin' their respect, 'stead of demanding it, cause you'd be sure to get it then, Miss." -Dean said with a false tone of serious in-depth thoughtfulness.
This earned him an eruption of guffaws across the room.
"You, young man, have disrupted the education of these children, and if you don't want to learn than you can just leave, right now, and pay the principal a visit!" -The woman looked absolutely mad at his point, and dammit if Dean didn't find it hilarious. He was about to voice his opinion on the matter when he was stopped.
"Excuse me, Miss Trammel, but wouldn't you be disrupting his education by sending him off?" - A boy with very bright eyes, and messy hair, probably another stoner, spoke from the very back of the room. But, his gaze was too focused and voice too steady, expression too serious to be one. Although he did look like someone that just woke up.
"I've had it with your 'free will' hippie attitude, Castiel! And if you don't keep quiet in my class, you will be sent to the principal's too! Now, you! Out of my class! Now!" - The woman full out yelled at him and the boy, Castiel, and Dean really didn't like her by this point.
"I'm going. But, lady, maybe you should tone down your 'respect me' nazi attitude, alright?" -Dean retorted with a grin and left the classroom as another set of laughs began, and as he descended through the hallways he could hear the teacher screaming at them to settle down.
Leave with a bang, as always.
-/-
By the time the school day was over, Sam was still sulking.
When Dean left the class he got into his car and just drove around, trying to find something fun for Sam and him.
Even back at the motel, Sam was still huffing and puffing. Dean tried asking him how was school, was he making friends, but Sam would just glare him. So he told him his story, expecting a laugh, but instead he got a scolding, how Dean was taking things too lightly, how he should watch his attitude, how this was his last year and he'd best not mess it up.
So seeing as talking with Sam wasn't gonna be productive in the least, he thought he'd take him to the comic book store, let him geek out for a bit.
He had some money of his own, besides the small amount John left them with and thought he'd be able to buy something he liked.
"Dean..." -Sam whined when he was where he was taken, letting out a long sigh.
"Come on, you know you love it." -Dean said with a chipper tone, trying to lighten up his brother.
"I know you mean well, but, come one, we don't even have money, I'm not some brat that you can just..." -But Sam trailed off, frustrated that Dean tried to cheer him up. Trust Sam to be a bitch about everything. Trust him.
"I have some of my own. Now I can either lock you up here, and have all the fun all by myself, or you can come and stop bitching." -Dean grinned into the rear-view mirror at Sam's upturned mouth.
"Jerk."
"Bitch"
And with that and a small, satisfied smile, Dean left the car followed by Sam.
-/-
The bell jingled as they stepped inside the small shop.
"Comic-Zone" was the, pretty unoriginal name of the shop, although you couldn't mistake it for a butcher's shop so that was a plus.
Dean looked around himself eyeing the stands with comics upon comics. He caught Sam running his eyes with hidden glee over the little books.
"Look around, and tell me what you want. And we'll get it." -Dean bent down to whisper to Sam. And even though it was almost in Sam's nature by now, to decline any offer on needless money spending, he gave Dean a grateful smile, slight dimples in his round cheeks.
In return Dean smiled fully, giving his shaggy hair a rumple, which extracted a yelp from Sam, but his smile still didn't falter.
While Sam craned his neck upwards the shelves, Dean trudged around slowly, seeing a bit of this and that.
His eyes finally landed on the cashier, who had his head bent down over, what Dean could see was Sandman 'Preludes and Nocturnes'. The cover looked like a really fancy book, maybe on art of the 12th century, but the pages he could see showed otherwise.
He walked towards the man, maybe try a bit of a small talk, ask him what's there to do in this town, maybe ask for the closest bar.
To receive a wink from Dean, would not only charm you into giving him a beer, it quite possibly might make you buy it for him.
"Hey, dude." -Dean said casually, and the head that snapped up surprised him with recognition.
It was the same boy from the school that, quite frankly stood up for him.
Up close Dean noted that, yeah, the guy had a hell of a set of eyes. He could probably pull of the wink and grin even better than him.
"Oh, you're that guy, from before, Castiel right?" -Dean said with a snap of his fingers, although the snap didn't arose any kind of reaction from the boy, just following his movements with a look of curiosity.
"I am. And you are?" -Wow and that voice. Puberty hit his Adam's apple hard, to come out with that kind of gravel.
"Dean. You already heard enough of my last name." -Dean said with a chuckle offered his hand for Castiel to shake.
The boy eyed his hand cautiously, and slowly took it into his own, but his grip was that of a sure man, just like John had taught him.
"Nice to meet you, Dean."
"Wow, you're hella polite." -Dean chuckled with a raised eyebrow. No kid his age should talk like that.
"I try." -Was Castiel's simple reply.
And since Dean really didn't have any witty retort to that except maybe for a very ineloquent whisper of the words 'The fuck?', he settled for changing the subject.
"Hey, uh, thanks for stepping up back there, but, seriously, there's no need. You'd just land yourself in trouble. I'm good on my own" -Dean explained, feeling the need to stress how he really didn't need anyone stepping up for him. All his life he'd been stepping up for others, even helped save a life here and there, so a small tussle with the teacher wasn't really something he couldn't handle.
"I was merely pointing out the flaws in her reasoning. It's that kind of attitude that got us where we are now. Dismissing the problem and not solving it. " -Castiel spoke with unblinking eyes.
"Oh, so I'm a problem?" -Dean wasn't really offended, he just wanted to pique a reaction from this outspoken albeit quite person.
"Not to me you're not. But, to the teacher you were, at the time." -Castiel said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, come on, tell us how you really feel." -Dean said with a laugh, trying to see if he could get the serious boy to smile.
"I just did." -Which was fruitless. This guy really was a stone statue.
"What cha readin' there, Cas? You mind if I call you, Cas?" -Dean said with grin, as he propped himself on the counter, his chin resting on his palm. He really found this guy interesting, he thought he'd mess around with him.
"Uh, no, I guess not." -Castiel mumbled as his face seemed to grow hot with embarrassment from Dean's closeness.
"The book?" -Dean directed with a hand as Castiel seemed to stunned by looking at his face to remember to answer the next question.
Yep, embarrassing him was working.
"Oh, uh, the book. It's uh, it's Sandman from Neil Gaiman, if you've heard of him."
"No idea."
"... Nevertheless, he is a fantastic writer, and well, the story revolves around Dream, or Morpheus, Oneiros-"
"Oreos!"
"...No, Oneiors, and well, it tells the story of his adventures, and how he is trying to settle back his kingdom, kingdom of Dreams that is, he is the ruler, and after his long imprisonment the kingdom has fallen apart, and..." -And sure enough, Dean found a way to get Cas to smile. The boy's eyes were bright as he spoke, his features softening with enthusiasm.
Dean listened idly, not really catching his words, and when he did, he make a remark, which made Castiel stutter and made him speak more, and Dean was glad to listen to his voice. He had the voice of a story teller, one that would excite Sam, and send Dean to blissful sleep.
"Sounds real interesting, Cas." -Dean said with a smile as Castiel came to a halt. Even though Dean was known to be an all around ass, he wanted to give this to Cas, to not make him feel like his words were worthless.
"I-If you'd like, you may borrow it." -Castiel said with his head dipped down, an obvious blush adoring his cheeks. Damn if it wasn't cute, and Dean would forever pretend like he didn't think that thought.
"I'd love to." -Dean said with a smirk, causing Castiel's head to leap up, and a soft, almost relieved smile spread his lips.
"Hey, Dean, is this ok?" - Sam disrupted their little moment, as his gangly little frame came to stand beside Dean offering him a book.
Dean straightened his form from the bent he held over the table, and turned the comic around, catching the price. Twenty-five dollars. Shit.
He had the money, but still, damn, all for some 20 page sketches.
Turning to the cover to see what Sam picked out he let out a whistle.
Batman 'The Killing Joke'.
"Nice choice, Sammy." -So he could sacrifice some dough for Batman. Because come on, it was freakin' Batman!
"Here 'ya go, Mister." -Dean flopped the book on the counter, for which Castiel had to stand to run through the cash.
And now, when Dean saw his outfit, he couldn't help but laugh.
"Dude, really, I get that you work in a comic book store, but, Constantine, like, really?" -Dean said in between fits of laughter.
He couldn't really see the obviously embarrassed expression on Castiel's features, topped of with a slight glare.
"Don't worry, my brother's basically a James Hetfield ripoff." -This stopped Dean's laughter, and he instead turned to glare at Sam, but when he saw the sort of amused smile on Cas' face as he put the book in a plastic bag, he thought he'd best drop it.
"That will be 25 $." -Castiel said with a nod, and his smile still didn't falter.
Dean pulled the crunched up money from his pocket and onto the counter.
"See ya tomorrow, Cas." - Dean said with a wave as he and his brother left the shop.
-/-
Into the car, as he was driving back to the motel, halfway through Sam’s ‘investigation’-
‘Who was that guy, Dean?’
‘Kid from school.’
‘He seems nice.’
‘He is.’
‘Is he your friend?’
‘Shut up, Sam.’
‘Oh my God, he is!’
‘ ‘Said shut up.’
‘You actually have a friend!’
-Sam’s voice took a turn towards the ‘shrieking girl in horror movie’ kind of voice.
"Dean! What did I tell you about stealing?" -Sam basically yelled, and Dean had to quickly compose himself before he swiveled the car off the road.
"Dude, I didn't steal anything!" -Dean yelled back, angry because Sam might have potentially jeopardized them.
"Then where did this come from?" -Sam said with tone of a 'hah!' in his voice, though why catching your brother stealing something would ever bring that out in you was out of his understanding.
He looked into the rear-view mirror with furrowed eyebrows and yes, there was indeed another item there, they hadn't bought.
The word 'Sandman' stood out in the middle.
-/-
The next day, Sam was still moody as Dean drove them to school.
Their dad called them this morning to tell them he won't be coming back for at least a week.
Sam grabbed the phone from Dean's hand noting as his face faltered, and began screaming into the phone that he couldn't do this to them, that he couldn't keep leaving them alone, that they were running out of money, really anything his unnaturally ( even for a teenage boy ) angry mind could come up with. Though, Dean was quick to wrestle the phone from Sam's grip, apologized to his dad and shut the phone, before anyone made things worse.
It was his job to keep the crooked balance balanced.
As Dean left the car and helped Sam carry his backpack, -
'I'm not a baby, Dean!'
'You are to me.'
'I'm in High School! Kids'll laugh!'
'I'll shut 'em up.'
-He noticed Castiel. He sent off Sam with a thump on his back and made his way through the crowded yard to meet up with him, ask him where his first class was, maybe get a laugh or two out of the fella.
But as he gained proximity he noticed that Cas was not alone. Rather he kept stepping backwards, his back turned to Dean, and he could finally see what was having Cas rattled.
A guy, freakishly skinny, very tall, with a long face and hollowed cheekbones, greasy, blond, cow-licked hair, multiple acne, and dusty clothes kept pushing forward into Castiel's personal space.
Even though the guy was, nothing new, in fact he looked like most developing teens, it was his eyes that stood him out. He had a sort of hungry, desperate look in his brown eyes as he looked at Cas.
Dean gained speed and as he heard the awkward mumble of words from Cas-
"No, really, I'm busy tonight, seriously..."
-He felt Castiel's back collide with his chest, and as he turned his head with a startle to see who had he bumped in, Dean saw the look of fright in his eyes.
Whoever this guy was, he was not going to let him mess with Cas.
Dean was the only one entitled to that right.
"Hey, uh, Cas how you doin' buddy? You ready for class?" -Dean asked in a chipper tone, his voice loud to indicate that whatever this guy was trying it was over now. He threw and arm over Cas' shoulders, confirming 'the buddy system'.
"Y-Yes." -Castiel stuttered as his back was still pressed against Dean's chest, seemingly unable to move.
"Well let's go then!" -Dean said with a forced grin, and maneuvered Castiel in the opposite direction, and in that split second he made sure to send a death glare to the surprised agape expression of the acne commercial candidate.
"So, uh, what the hell was up with Freddy Krueger over there?" -Dean spoke into Castiel's ear as soon as they were out of ear shot. He made sure to guide Castiel with his slung arm, as Castiel's feet kept on locking.
"I-I'm sorry, Dean, that you had to intervene, I, really, I usually handle him quite well, today was just not..."-Castiel stumbled over his apologies, sending a deeply apologetic look to Dean, eyebrows upturned over deep blue eyes, filled with worry and anxiety. Wow, the situation really stressed him out.
"Dude, chill. It really wasn't a big deal, believe me." -Dean said with a chuckle trying to lighten up the mood, giving Cas' shoulder a grip, anything to relieve that tension that held between his hunched shoulders. Dean had dealt with enough post hunt survivors, and while his dad was doing the cleaning up, dumping the bodies and what not, it was Dean's job to condole the sobbing from-now-on widows.
Cas was nothing he couldn't handle.
"Now, tell me, what was this guy's deal? Why's he bothering you?"- Dean asked for an explanation. Finally he decided to sit Cas down on a conveniently close bench, he himself taking a seat next to him, his slung arm falling by his side.
"He's uh... 'chuckle' It's sort of hard to explain." -Castiel surprised Dean with the morose chuckle. Cas wasn't the kind of guy that just chuckled. So, yeah, he might have just known him for one day ( two if you count this one) but, Dean thinks himself a good judge of character.
"Hey, don't let my good looks and charming personality fool you - I'm really actually smart." -Dean said with a playful tone, and Cas sent him a soft smile.
"It's just... His name is Harvey."
"Harvey?"
"Yes, Harvey. He's basically in every class I'm in. And, uh, I think he sort of has a crush on me. Well, I don't think, he's, uh, actually made it quite obvious."
"Sucks to be you dude."
"So I gather." -He said with a nod. "And as much as he's made it obvious that he was interested, I made it equally obvious I'm not. But, the gay rumors started this year, and, well, he's been more at it tha-"
"Are you?" -Dean couldn't help but butt in.
"Am I what?" -Castiel asked puzzled.
"Gay."- Dean said bluntly.
"I don't, I don't know, Dean. Bi, maybe... Is this going to be an issue?" -Castiel turned his eyes sharply with a hawked eyed stare at him.
"No, dude, seriously, like, it's not, really, it isn't." -Dean quickly stammered the words, as he caught where Castiel's train of thought probably went.
Cas was anything but a queen, and he said he didn't know for sure, and Dean was ok with that. He came to understand that sexuality was something you figured out in time, worked it out. He wasn't one to pressure Cas, or anyone for that matter.
"...Ok. So, anyway, he started pressuring me, coming up to the shop, having figured out my shifts. I took care of that, though, the other employees understand my situation... And well, he was asking me out on a date tonight... Said he'd take me some place really nice, he had it all planned out, that he deserves a chance, bringing up stuff like his home life, like how his mother was sick, like I could make it better, that I'm hurting him and... I don't want anyone to feel that way because of me." -Castiel's expression turned very tired and sad, and Dean was undeniably angry by now.
"You do know, he's tryna' manipulate you though, right? Bringin' out all that emotional baggage on you, makin' you feel responsible, so he could take advantage of you? You see that, right?" -Dean had seen a fair share of unhealthy relationships, even been in some, and manipulation was the key to those.
"I-I guess..."
"No, you don't 'guess'. You know. And he don't deserve your pity. Tell 'im to get some proactive and wash that grease out of his hair, and he'd be like the disco ball in a gay bar. Hell, I'll tell him myself if you want to." -Dean said firmly, and his hand again landed on Castiel's shoulder, gripping it with reassurance.
Castiel's gave a sad, though a somewhat warm smile, like Dean was a five year old that just asked him whether Santa was real.
"You're very kind, Dean. Although, I can't seem to understand why. Why to me." -Castiel said with a slight incline of his head.
"Because you're my friend, alright. And friends look out for each other, right?" -Dean said with a decisive nod.
So, yeah, Cas really did become somewhat of a friend to Dean.
And Dean never made friends. In every school they changed, he made sure to hang out with the douche-bags and jocks, mess around with the no-strings-attached girls. Because those were the kind of people who changed their friends like they changed their socks, who didn't let themselves get close to anyone in fear that that person might be exactly like them. That they will use and abuse them emotionally.
And Dean was fine with that. Because developing relationships in a place he was bound to leave in a month or less, never worked out well. He still remembers that kid James from second grade, and how he thought he was his bestest best friend at the time. And then they had to leave.
He sometimes wonders if James turned out well, is he working on his smarts or maybe he turned to weed.
"Correct." -Cas said with a full on smile this time, gums peaking out over his teeth. Huh, he had a gummy smile.
"Then 'at's settled. Oh, wait." -Dean remembered as he grabbed his backpack from his shoulder and began rummaging through it.
"Here." -He said as he handed the borrowed comic Sandman back to Cas.
"Oh, you read it already?" -Castiel asked with an amused smile, taking the comic back.
"Hell, yeah! Honestly, I was surprised, I really liked it! It had this, like, another dimension vibe to it, like it all really exists only we don' see it, or some shit." -Dean explained with gesturing hands, trying to find the right words for it.
"Oh. What'd you like best?" -Castiel spoke with a soft tone of interest.
"Well, I guess I liked the brothers best... Cain and Abel right, like from the bible?"
"They were inspired by the biblical characters, yes."
"Well, I liked how in the end, you know, Abel sits there, with the slit eye, and tells the story of the brothers that, 'loved each other' and 'never hurt each other'. And it sort of put a perspective to who Abel was and what he wanted, and it's sort of like, bittersweet you know? His older brother hurt him and when he killed him, after all that torment, he still cried for him. Sad, but it was a good scene." -Dean finished his little ramble and he turned his eyes to Castiel, who's smile seemed to grow warmer and warmer. Dean blushed as he realized he spoke his thoughts openly to Castiel, which was something he never did, not even with Sam. There was always something worth hiding. There had to be.
"It is a very thought provoking scene, even though they were mostly used as comic relief, albeit a scary one. Did Sam read it?"
"No, uh, he tends to get nightmares, so uh, no."
"I'd be happy to lend you the second installment, if you're interested."
"Cas. You're awesome."
-/-
Dean was driving in his car, his destination: "Comic-Zone".
Cas had told him he took the shift from 6 pm to 10 pm, as he only worked as a part-time worker. He told him to come over so he could give him the other comic.
Dean felt unnaturally giddy, which he prescribed to finally getting to know what happens next, rather than on getting to see Cas again, even though he practically spent the whole day by his side.
He came to the understanding that while Cas was an all around friendly guy, people rarely talked to him, like they felt intimidated by him. He could understand them really, when you got pierced with those sharp eyes, the only natural reaction was to take a step back. But then, Dean was always lulled by trouble.
And trouble seemed to right in front of the shop.
Three police cars sat parked in front of the shop, and the ambulance’s horn was booming through the street where spectators where gathered.
Dean parked with a sharp turn, and ran out and into the shop with a cry of Castiel’s name.
-/-
"Cas! Le' go of me! I said let go!" -Dean screamed as he fought his way through the police officers, running up the stairs and cutting the line of barrier tape.
Everything indicated that a murder had occurred.
Dean didn't think what experience told him had happened. That another friend died.
Finally he arrived at the scene. A pool of blood, crimson red pooling around a body that lay limp on hardwood floor, some men in uniform taking picture, others shaking their head in defiance and finally a tall figure in an oversized trench coat stood hovering above it all.
"Cas!" -Dean sighed the words in relief. Castiel turned his head sharply in the direction of the familiar voice, and Dean saw the puffy, bloodshot, once bright and blue eyes of Cas staring at him with utter sadness.
"Dean..." -Castiel croaked the words, and in an instant Dean was beside his side enveloping him in a tight hug.
Hugging was not his thing, never was. But, the shaking shoulders of Castiel, and the desperate way his fingers clung to his leather jacket, told him that he needed this. And Dean could give that much.
"Dean, I'm so sorry you had to see this." -Castiel raised his head with a startle, as if protecting Dean's (nonexistent) innocence was of grave importance.
"Don't worry 'bout it. Let's get you outta here." -Dean would probably chuckle at Cas' ignorance if it weren't for the given situation.
It was probably very unhealthy that the dead body didn't startle him as much as Cas' crying did.
-/-
"I'm a minor, Dean, I'm not allowed to drink." -And, really, Cas had to be a helluva strong character to deny booze at a time like this.
"Dude, a minor isn't allowed to see a dead body. And we already did that, so, beer is second." -Dean pushed the bottle into Cas' hand and took a seat next to him on the concrete parking lot opposite the liquor store.
Dean sipped his beer in silence, as Cas' joined in soon, popping the cap open with a sizzle.
The night was cold, breeze enveloping Dean through his jacket, while Castiel's trench coat flapped with the air.
But, Dean felt the cold in a different way. He didn't know what to say to condole Castiel, didn't know what to do to make the situation better for him.
He thought alcohol would do it, but, maybe that's just his juvenile way of coping with things.
The first time he saw a dead body was at the age of 4, when his mother died in the fire.
And sharing that story with Cas wouldn't bring any good.
"My mother died while giving birth to me." -Castiel cut his train of thought.
And Dean was left with an even bigger loss of words.
"My father left me and Jimmy at the age of 7. We're living with our aunt now..." -Castiel looked down at his shoes as he spoke, fiddling with the trench coat's sleeve.
"He always blamed me for what happened. I killed my mother. And I broke my brother's heart. And now, when I was supposed to be the one doing the inventory check, Josh got killed." -Castiel let out another depressed chuckle that sent shivers up Dean's spine.
"And then you, you had to see a dead body. I hurt everybody that gets close to me, Dean. I'm so sorry..." -Castiel raised a hand to his face, holding it there, while his shoulders began shaking again.
"Cas..." -Was the only word Dean was capable of speaking, as he wrapped an arm around Castiel's shoulder, while the other took his head and maneuvered it to rest on his own shoulder.
Cas didn't protest, instead he sobbed against Dean's shoulder, and Dean felt the moisture running through his shirt, but he couldn't pick up the nerve to care.
He felt every word Cas said. None of it was said in seeking pity, rather in seeking relief. A way to vent out years and years of frustration.
He wanted to tell Cas, that he shouldn't worry about him, that he'd seen enough dead bodies and monsters to keep the 'Saw' saga running for 50 more movies.
But, he couldn't.
Any truth he had to offer would only rattle Castiel even more. Except for maybe one.
"My mother died when I was four." -Dean uttered the words in a shameful voice. To this Castiel slowly raised his head, and stared at Dean with puzzled eyes.
"After that me and my brother... My dad started traveling a lot. He started changing jobs. We don't go back there anymore..."- Dean found it hard to speak while being looked with those eyes that seemed to urge him to speak more and more.
"Sammy didn't get a chance to remember mom. But, from what I remember, she loved 'im, and me. And, it's... It's nobody's fault, Cas. You have to know this, it ain't." -Dean's voice came down to a whisper as his voice threatened to quiver.
"Dean..." -Castiel whispered the words, and soon he was the one being hugged.
And for the first time in a long time, he didn't mind having a non-family person's hands on him.
In fact he found he relished in it, burying himself in Castiel's shoulders, inhaling the acceptance he found there.
He never realized how much he needed a stranger's support. Somebody that wasn't family, somebody that wasn't pushed into their life, somebody that instead, opened up to the information Dean had to give. Somebody that took in his words without judgment.
And Dean found he could tell these things to Cas without remorse, without fright, without question.
He didn't have to pretend to be strong, to pretend things didn't bother him, that his past was just that.
Cas had his own issues, and Dean had his.
And it was ok.
They were ok.
-/-
Dean came to the motel late that night.
He spent the whole evening with Castiel. Even after their chick-flick moment, Dean still found he needed Castiel's presence, as did Cas need his. It was unorthodox for two people to bond over death, but that's exactly what happened.
Dean turned the keys slowly, careful not to make any noise, as he slowly stepped into the room, and with a quiet squeak shut the door behind him.
The little room was enveloped with darkness, and Sam's light snoring was the only sound.
Dean quickly undid his laces, tugged out of his shoes, and dropped in bed with the jacket and jeans on.
He felt sort of emotionally drained, but like he was refreshed, like the toxins of years of bottling up his emotions came flooding down.
Exhaustion took him quickly, and soon he fell asleep.
But, the silence of the room was soon disturbed as the rapid fluttering of pages promised nothing good was coming their way.