Agatha H. and the Fair Dinkum Blue, Pt 3

[maramcc]

Part two is here!

What: a fanfiction for Girl Genius, featuring my literary stand-in and stunt double Mara Mouseheart
Time: continuing (mostly) right after The Pauper Princess and the Way of the Trilobite.

The story so far!
--You'll believe a dragon can fly, but not land.
--Skifandrians are not prudes.

************************
Legal disclaimer stuff:
"This story is not approved by, sponsored by or affiliated with Studio Foglio LLC or Airship Entertainment."
************************

The Pauper Princess Fanfiction Theatre Presents:
Agatha H. and the Fair Dinkum Blue - Part 3!



The three Emperors clinked glasses, drained their drinks, and "ahhhed" at the same time. They blinked, then chuckled about the serendipity. A tension breaker! Agatha thought this to be a good time to bring up her talk with Zeetha.

Gil beat her to conversation. "I managed to convince Bohrlaikha to let me add a coating of the new steel to her outer shell," he said. "Just two millimeters. That's the thickest before it interferes with movement."

Tarvek rolled his eyes. "You and your belligerent clanks. Having to 'convince' one of anything? That's what failsafes are for."

"You're welcome to talk to her about that," said Gil. "Beside, Father built her. She was a Christmas gift before he retired. One of his 'tests' was that I had to convince her to work with me, not for me. It was a more challenging debate than I expected, but it worked out. Now I just have to convince her to let me run tests on the coating after it's applied."

"Failsafes," Tarvek muttered under his breath.

"That reminds me of a funny story," said Agatha. The men swiveled their heads her way. "Today... Do you happen to know what our dessert is?"

Gil only shrugged.

"Chocolate ganache cake, I think," said Tarvek. "But we could request anything we like."

Agatha propped her head on a hand and drummed her fingers. "Strawberries?"

Gil snapped his fingers for a minion. One was at his side immediately. "Her Ladyship will have strawberries for dessert."

"No," she said. "I'm not asking for strawberries!" She glanced at the puzzled minion. "Just some mixed nuts, please."

The minion bowed. "At once, Your Ladyship."

"And the cake!"

"...Of course, Your Ladyship."

The minion left the room after receiving all dessert orders. Agatha was pleased with her choice. Almonds with ganache would offer a lovely mix of smooth crunchiness and rich sweetness to-

"Agatha," said Gil. She snapped from her reverie. "You said something about a funny story?"

"Oh!" she said. "Right." She almost finished off her wine, then thought better of it. "Ah... Just before lunch... Franz's flight test went very well today. I think his aerial attacks will be quite formidable. Though it's the landings that need work."

"Kinks in the braking system?" said Tarvek.

"He has retro rockets," she said. "He just needs to get used to all the controls."

The men waited for something like a punchline, and when there was none, they assumed it was a "had to be there" story, and resumed eating and drinking in silence. Agatha poked at her food more than was proper for a royal personage, and caught herself drumming her fingers again.

"That's not really what I meant to talk about," she said, "Or yes, it was, but... See, Zeetha and I were talking, and... Oh, you know her. She says what's on her mind and doesn't pull punches. Literally doesn't pull them. We were sparring, too." She chuckled to herself, then looked up to see her co-rulers watching her with somewhat puzzled looks. "Anyway, she brought up how... tense we've all been for some time, and... had a funny suggestion-"

"Your Majesties!" two excited voices came from the corridor. An instant later, the Techmasters Professor Óriásifej and Doctor Kratzenschnupp were in the doorway, both trying to enter simultaneously. That bit of physical comedy ended when Óriásifej pushed in first.

"Your Majesties, we must speak with you!" he said.

"Gentlemen," said Agatha through gritted teeth, "This is not a good time."

"We beg forgiveness, Your Ladyship Most High," said Kratzenschnupp, bowing, "But your Majesties, is it not your mandate that we share all our technology for this venture?"

"That is the mandate, yes," said Tarvek.

"Then someone must explain it to that woman!" said Óriásifej.

Agatha cocked an eyebrow. "'That woman?'"

"Not Your Ladyship," said Kratzenschnupp. "Of course not. But are we or are we not entitled to the Heterodyne batteries? Your- Please don't destroy us where we stand- Your Princess refuses to provide the power sources we need for our own designs!"

"That's quite an accusation," said Tarvek. He looked her way. "Agatha?"

She did not meet his gaze, but continued glaring at the Techmasters. "I'm sure there are two sides. I will look into this."

"Please do, Your Ladyship," said Óriásifej. "It's bad enough that her own designs are so... tame. Absolutely ineffective! And she clearly has no academic credentials, but-!"

"Stop right there," said Gil.

Too late for him. Agatha had already slammed her fists on the table and was standing.

Tarvek held up both hands. "Look, we can work out these impediments-"

"How dare you," she growled, already in the Madness. "How dare you barge in like this and interrupt an important conversation, just to complain about my Techmistress?? Someone bring me a death ray! Now!"

The two men cringed and covered their eyes, daring only to peek through their fingers. "Please don't disintegrate us, Your Ladyship!"

"Nobody is being disintegrated!" said Gil. "Yes, Agatha, that was out of line. But at least talk to her and sort this out!"

"That was my intention!" she said. "Then he had to add insults!"

A minion dutifully wheeled over a sampling of lovingly-crafted death rays for Her Ladyship to choose from. Gil angrily ordered him away, earning a glare from Agatha and gratitude from the Techmasters.

Kratzenschnupp's voice had become a squeak. "We meant only to serve our great cause! To-to bring any obstacles to your attention! Yes, your Majesty?" he added, appealing to his Storm King.

"Privately would have been best," muttered Tarvek.

"As I said," Agatha said, "I will speak with Mrs. Mouseheart and get this sorted out." She pointed at her co-rulers. "Please get them sorted out!"

"Agatha, wait," said Tarvek. "You needn't storm out now. Sit. Have some dessert. Finish your story. Then storm out."

Agatha considered his advice. At least her Madness seemed to have been calmed. She shook her head. "We need privacy for that, and now I've... Never mind; I'll finish it later. Dinner! See you at dinner, gentlemen."

With that, she moved with determination, rather than stormed, from the room, just passing a minion bringing in their desserts. He glanced her way, then thought better of trying to stop her. He continued bringing the tray to the remaining Emperors' table. Suddenly Agatha had returned to the room and was beside him. She quickly found her nuts and cake, took the plate, and then stormed out - moved with determination again.

******************

The talkboxes made finding each other simple. Mara was in the ship's laboratory, just as she said she was. Her back was to Agatha and by all appearances was quite engrossed in her work. Agatha was poised to knock, then listened a bit to her cousin's slightly-tuneful  humming. At one point Mara held a note - a perfectly ordinary one - then cut it short and followed it with a frustrated sigh. It occurred to Agatha that she had never heard Mara sing before. And because of this, did not know if Mara could heterodyne or not.

Agatha brought up her knuckles to knock-

"Come on in, hon," said Mara. She straightened up and turned around. She held a small soldering iron and wore triple-magnification goggles to aid in the delicate work. She flipped up the goggles. Her pupils were dilated - one of the few clues of Mara being in the Madness. She did not yell or gloat or make elaborate threats or monologue or gesture dramatically to the skies. It was almost like an unMadness. Hardly proper form for a Mad Scientist, to not behave madly. She often muttered to herself, though. That was a start.

"If you're here to talk," she said cheerfully, "I hope you don't mind if I continue working on this. It needs a bit of attention."

"And what is 'this?'" asked Agatha, already beside her.

"Adjustments to my suit," she said. "When on that pirate woman's ship - er, Captain Dundee-"

"Dupree."

"Really?" she said, and smacked her own forehead. "Oh, my goodness, you're right. Will I ever get her name right? Uh... er, anyway, at one point she threw flash grenades at me, and those did have the intended effect. So I'm adjusting the internal sensors to be able to detect and counter that sort of attack."

"For all of the suits, or just yours?"

"Assuming it works, all of them," said Mara. "And beyond. Do you want to help me test it?"

"Sure," said Agatha. "Just say when." Mara smiled and resumed her work. Agatha leaned in to watch, then saw something moving quickly on the cluttered worktable. She peered into the clutter to search for any other movement. The most likely cause was some random part acting up, or even one of her dingbots skittering about.

"Hey!" said Agatha, yanking back her hand as a small, humanoid clank suddenly appeared to her right. It had managed to sneak over and leap into the air. It held a tiny sword and was preparing to plunge it into her hand! Agatha reacted just in time for it to stab at the wooden table instead.

"What was-?" said Mara, and gasped. "Sturm!" The clank was dodging Agatha's attempts to grab it and was ducking behind other objects on the worktable. "Sturm, stop that this instant and get over here!" The clank stopped evading Agatha, who paused in her attempts to capture it to see how obedient it might be. Mara pointed firmly to a spot in between her and Agatha. After a second of hesitation, the clank let its head and sword droop, and it trudged over as contritely as a clank could.

"What was that?" said Mara, wagging her finger. "Did you just try to attack her?" It looked to Agatha, then shrugged. "Don't give me that! She is not a threat! In fact, she is our Empress and Commander of the Heterodyne fleet! Now you apologize immediately!"

"Sturm" the clank looked to Agatha, then dropped to its knees and held its hands together as if in supplication. It was now that Agatha could tell that, beside being painted in the Mouseheart colors - black, red, and yellow - its green face and hands had been further detailed to resemble-

Agatha chuckled. It even had a little hat. A nice little hat. "You're forgiven, Sturm," she said, and held out her hand. It stood up and allowed her to pick it up and examine it more closely. It stood about 22 centimeters high and was well-articulated. Other than resembling something that a baby Jäger might play with, it reminded her of a certain harlequin-like clank that Mara had made before.

"It didn't hurt you, did it?" said Mara. Agatha shook her head. "Isabel made it for me. To... protect me, don't you know. Perhaps a little bit too enthusiastically. It even harassed Heather before I set it straight."

"Isabel made this?" said Agatha. "Well! That explains the Jäger look. Is this her first full clank?"

"Yes," said Mara proudly. "And at such a young age! Not even five. And yes, I see it, too, that her design is similar to my other clank. In which case, I'll understand if you don't trust it and want it stored safely away somewhere. You'll let me know? I would have left it in Guildern, but she insisted that I take it with me, you see."

Agatha gave the clank another once-over. "Keep it out for now. But don't make me regret that."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Both women were quiet. Mara resumed her soldering. Agatha set down Sturm, which did not skitter away or make any threatening moves this time, but stood near the women. Agatha watched her cousin work while speaking. "How did your meeting with the Techmasters go?"

"Oh... Some philosophical differences to work through," said Mara, "But we'll be a well-oiled machine yet."

"Hm," said Agatha, nodding. "What sort of 'differences' need to be worked through?"

"Oh... Nothing unexpected," said Mara. "They adhere to the general philosophy of 'All weapons must kill.' That sort of thinking. I happen not to."

"Mara..." said Agatha, "You can't argue that nothing you've made won't kill anyone."

"A pen can kill someone if you stab them in the right place with it," said Mara. "Or choke them, or poison them slowly and painfully by injecting them with its ink. Everything I make can be used to kill. But it won't be their primary purpose. You know this already. You've seen my designs and specs from the start. You offered me the position, knowing that I will destroy their soldiers' equipment, their weapons, their clanks... everything except the soldiers themselves. Except those devices meant to stop them in their tracks. But I will never intend to kill anyone." She glowered and dropped the pitch in her voice. "Or are you here to tell me otherwise?"

"Whoa," said Agatha, holding up her hands. "Slow down. Calm down. Look... It's true that the Techmasters made some claims. I'm here to investigate them. What happened in your meeting?"

Mara set aside her equipment, including the goggles. She sighed and rubbed her face. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Um... We reviewed each other's work. Traded notes. They'll take my designs and make them lethal, I'm sure. Just as I'm adapting theirs to make them nonlethal, but no less effective. Whatever wins the war, yes? Also, they somehow got the impression that we - as in, the Heterodynes - are responsible for supplying the entire fleet with our power source."

"The batteries."

"Yes," said Mara. "Look, how the rest of the fleet wants to power their devices is their business. They have my specs. If they want our batteries, they know how to make them! Or... or was there an order given that I didn't hear, or misunderstood? Have I supposed to have been making them all this while?"

"No," said Agatha. She added a pat to the shoulder with her second "No." It was her turn to sigh. "There's a saying that poor communication kills."

"Ironic," said Mara, "Given that we have standard-issue, instantaneous communicators." She gestured to her talkbox lying nearby.

"Great," said Agatha. "Another meeting, then. Emperors and Techmasters. As soon as possible, I should think. Before dinner. I reserve that time for talking to the boys privately."

"Just let me know when and where," said Mara. "Speaking of communication... Just for curiosity's sake... Is there anything else they said that I should know about?"

Agatha thought a moment. Then: "I'll put that same question to you."

After her usual bit of fidgeting, Mara shrugged. "Nothing that really bothers me, per se. A smidgen of questioning my eligibility for my role. My 'credentials.' You know how academics are; they want to examine your diplomas. But I'm not really concerned for my own sake. I know what I can do, and... and who I am. My hope is that none of any of this... hoo-ha... washes onto you." Agatha seemed puzzled. "Ah, questioning you, I mean. Your choices. That sort of thing. I don't want people questioning you, because of me. The nobody Spark that runs an amusement park."

"That's how you see yourself?"

"Nooo," said Mara. "Not anymore. But I don't want any backlash about my lack of 'credentials' - or my 'tame' devices - to fall on you. That's all."

Agatha lowered her eyes in thought. "You're a dear for worrying about me," she said. "But you don't have to. I've got big shoulders. And big fists!" It was meant to get a smile out of Mara, but got a raised eyebrow instead. Agatha leaned in close and lowered her voice. "Also, this is a... I wouldn't say a secret. Just not common knowledge. Technically, I have no 'credentials,' either. I never did properly graduate from TPU. Oh, they quickly cobbled together an honorary degree for me, and some other universities have, too, but you see my point. They're welcome to question my eligibility." She grinned and winked. Now Mara responded positively, and smiled back.

Mara chided herself inwardly for any doubts about Agatha or her shoulders. The Heterodyne Girls would have each other's backs, come hell or high water. That was a certainty.

Part four is here!