An open letter to Tim Roth:
(after watching Virgin Territory)
AN OPEN LETTER TO TIM ROTH:
Dear Tim (can I call you Tim?)
You are brilliant. Seriously, I think you are one of the most overlooked and talented actors of my generation. That being said, please stop making shit movies. It makes me sad to see you, so talented, and I must admit, weirdly hot, in such pieces of celluloid crap as this film. Now, I think you probably did this movie as a favor to someone. Well, let me say, if you owed anyone a favor, it is well paid after this disaster. Either that, or one of those brainless boobie girls in the movie went to your house and drugged you with roofies and took you to Italy where she held you captive and forced you to make this awful film. The second scenario intrigues me more so let's stick with that. Now, two years later, perhaps some of the shame of violation has washed away and you can forgive that evil tart for slipping you roofies. But you know, you are not completely innocent in this fiasco, because I saw that Tupac Shakur movie you were in. Yeah, I saw it. A couple of other people saw it too, so you should know, there are witnesses. You bad, bad man. Spankings. Now behave.
AN OPEN LETTER TO TIM ROTH:
Dear Tim (can I call you Tim?)
You are brilliant. Seriously, I think you are one of the most overlooked and talented actors of my generation. That being said, please stop making shit movies. It makes me sad to see you, so talented, and I must admit, weirdly hot, in such pieces of celluloid crap as this film. Now, I think you probably did this movie as a favor to someone. Well, let me say, if you owed anyone a favor, it is well paid after this disaster. Either that, or one of those brainless boobie girls in the movie went to your house and drugged you with roofies and took you to Italy where she held you captive and forced you to make this awful film. The second scenario intrigues me more so let's stick with that. Now, two years later, perhaps some of the shame of violation has washed away and you can forgive that evil tart for slipping you roofies. But you know, you are not completely innocent in this fiasco, because I saw that Tupac Shakur movie you were in. Yeah, I saw it. A couple of other people saw it too, so you should know, there are witnesses. You bad, bad man. Spankings. Now behave.