(no subject)
I am disintegrating. I can feel it. I'm becoming less. I'm becoming lighter.
Maybe I will go to the grocery. Buy an apple. Fuji or red delicious? Red delicious. I could go to the thrift store afterwards. Scan the wares, but not buy anything, unless I come across a must-have, like an old book, one I have already read and loved but forgotten about. I would come home and put the book on the shelf, and forget.
I could clip coupons. Even if I won't use them, I would enjoy the act. I would be precise at first, cutting along the spaced black lines, then less so as I become impatient. I would split them into categories of "use", "not use", and "possibly use". They will end up on the shelf, along with the forgotten book, and expire. I don't use coupons. I should though. Every penny, etc.
I could see a matinee. I would sit in the back, like a creeper, but I'm not: only slightly embarrassed to be alone. When the movie is over I could have lunch at the City Cafe. I would order the veggie club (the only dish worth ordering there) and watch the light dim outside.
I need to do these things, to feel less, less. To feel heavier, more real. I could do these things. I would. I won't.
Maybe I will go to the grocery. Buy an apple. Fuji or red delicious? Red delicious. I could go to the thrift store afterwards. Scan the wares, but not buy anything, unless I come across a must-have, like an old book, one I have already read and loved but forgotten about. I would come home and put the book on the shelf, and forget.
I could clip coupons. Even if I won't use them, I would enjoy the act. I would be precise at first, cutting along the spaced black lines, then less so as I become impatient. I would split them into categories of "use", "not use", and "possibly use". They will end up on the shelf, along with the forgotten book, and expire. I don't use coupons. I should though. Every penny, etc.
I could see a matinee. I would sit in the back, like a creeper, but I'm not: only slightly embarrassed to be alone. When the movie is over I could have lunch at the City Cafe. I would order the veggie club (the only dish worth ordering there) and watch the light dim outside.
I need to do these things, to feel less, less. To feel heavier, more real. I could do these things. I would. I won't.