No sleep
Tired... and not feeling good.
SO much winding down. So much happening... can't breathe :)) (ok that was an allusion to an old movie moment, where the hero has to tell the audience why his facial expression is a grimace)
I can't believe I still have 2 classes left? Two! TWO.
Then the slow spiral into nothing. I have a month to relax but after the 14th, I think I will really need to re-consider some things. I haven't really said this aloud but I am wondering if this is the right program for me. It seems I am an extra appendage. I think they usually accept 7-9 people with the intent of only having 3-5 students. Seven of us accepted this year. Most of the others have some kind of system in place for help. I do not. I did not have anything. It makes me think I am just an appendage.
I sometimes think I just want to walk away...
I have one person advocating for me but that's it. I mean on the other side, I have met a lot of people, become involved in a few things, attended a number of functions. But I have a sense of not belonging.
I think I have to ponder this during the summer. What are my expectations of this program? Of me? Do I belong here? I think if I look hard, I may find I do not like the answers.
In other news... Im hungry.
SO much winding down. So much happening... can't breathe :)) (ok that was an allusion to an old movie moment, where the hero has to tell the audience why his facial expression is a grimace)
I can't believe I still have 2 classes left? Two! TWO.
Then the slow spiral into nothing. I have a month to relax but after the 14th, I think I will really need to re-consider some things. I haven't really said this aloud but I am wondering if this is the right program for me. It seems I am an extra appendage. I think they usually accept 7-9 people with the intent of only having 3-5 students. Seven of us accepted this year. Most of the others have some kind of system in place for help. I do not. I did not have anything. It makes me think I am just an appendage.
I sometimes think I just want to walk away...
I have one person advocating for me but that's it. I mean on the other side, I have met a lot of people, become involved in a few things, attended a number of functions. But I have a sense of not belonging.
I think I have to ponder this during the summer. What are my expectations of this program? Of me? Do I belong here? I think if I look hard, I may find I do not like the answers.
In other news... Im hungry.