Miles To Go
I have to begin to organize my student visa for going to the US.
I have been putting it off so I can get a few other things organized. But I need to get that Visa or everything else means nothing. I went to see my MPP today to see if there was any funding available to me. He was very nice but I'm not too sure he can help me. Here's to hoping.
Time is moving quickly toward me leaving Toronto (again). I think I always knew that I would be going away again. But still, I did not expect it. I felt I was holding Mom back from doing what she wanted and now I am sad that I will be so far away from Dad. But closer than Japan. The way I see it, I am 5 hours from New York, door to door.
I have been in touch with the Prof from NYU and two of the Grad students. Just thinking about it makes me nervous. Not a bad nervous, just a little scared kind of nervous. LMH loaned me a book on applying for Grad school. I admittedly did not read it as closely as I should have but I did glean some important things from it. Now I am reading about what the first year is like and how best to succeed. I usually am a slow starter in somethings, thinking it is better to ease myself into something than to dive in. I think perhaps it is all about having a healthy attitude. Some things do worry me. I read that I am expected to publish... Publish????? Yikes!!!
This leads to an interesting event that occurred when I was in my last year of Uni at York. I was taking a 4th year seminar course on 'Jacksonian America' taught by this Prof. Ginsburg. The course was tough and I had some issues with it. As my final paper, I decided to research something unusual and I thought avant-garde. I looked at the Suffargists' movement origins from Seneca Falls onward and then applied Barach and Baratz's model about decision making and specifically about how not making a decision, is also decision making.
Needless to say, I wrote a 45 page essay on this. It was a decent paper. But I got a failing grade and was told I could not write...(yeah-hold your horses). My reaction was of extreme distress. I was devastated not only because of that but because I had 4 more 4th year major papers due and they were written in the same style as the one for Ginsburg. I thought for sure I was going to fail my last year and not get my degree.
With great apprehension, I collected the other 4 papers...'B+, B+, A, B'. I wrote 4 papers and each of these other Profs thought I wrote clearly and defended my thesis properly. Each of them had something to say about my style and structure. Yet this one, Ginsberg, who I sadly had some respect for, thought I was terrible. In the last few weeks I pierced it all together. There was another student in the class, he was Spanish and was a Church minister. His name was Joao. His paper was 14 pages and his English and structure was horrific! It was truly terrible. Yet Ginsberg gave him a 'B'. Unbelievable! I was shocked and stunned and... Furious!! What it boiled down to was fear and favouritism and some kowtowing on Ginsburg's behalf. I think Ginsberg was nervous since there was someone who could challenge him or call him on something and who had authority.
It taught me a valuable lesson. One I carried all through my life. People, no matter what age must earn respect. I refuse to respect someone just because they are older. Hell, I have seen so many people who as they get older become more and more entrenched in their way of thinking. Perhaps thats why I had such problems when I was teaching. Having these teachers who were older, thinking that I needed to be taken under their wing. How patronizing was that! Sheesh.
I pray that this does not happen to me this time around. I want to be a part of something bigger and hopefully better. I hope to contribute and not 'suck the marrow' out of life.
I have been putting it off so I can get a few other things organized. But I need to get that Visa or everything else means nothing. I went to see my MPP today to see if there was any funding available to me. He was very nice but I'm not too sure he can help me. Here's to hoping.
Time is moving quickly toward me leaving Toronto (again). I think I always knew that I would be going away again. But still, I did not expect it. I felt I was holding Mom back from doing what she wanted and now I am sad that I will be so far away from Dad. But closer than Japan. The way I see it, I am 5 hours from New York, door to door.
I have been in touch with the Prof from NYU and two of the Grad students. Just thinking about it makes me nervous. Not a bad nervous, just a little scared kind of nervous. LMH loaned me a book on applying for Grad school. I admittedly did not read it as closely as I should have but I did glean some important things from it. Now I am reading about what the first year is like and how best to succeed. I usually am a slow starter in somethings, thinking it is better to ease myself into something than to dive in. I think perhaps it is all about having a healthy attitude. Some things do worry me. I read that I am expected to publish... Publish????? Yikes!!!
This leads to an interesting event that occurred when I was in my last year of Uni at York. I was taking a 4th year seminar course on 'Jacksonian America' taught by this Prof. Ginsburg. The course was tough and I had some issues with it. As my final paper, I decided to research something unusual and I thought avant-garde. I looked at the Suffargists' movement origins from Seneca Falls onward and then applied Barach and Baratz's model about decision making and specifically about how not making a decision, is also decision making.
Needless to say, I wrote a 45 page essay on this. It was a decent paper. But I got a failing grade and was told I could not write...(yeah-hold your horses). My reaction was of extreme distress. I was devastated not only because of that but because I had 4 more 4th year major papers due and they were written in the same style as the one for Ginsburg. I thought for sure I was going to fail my last year and not get my degree.
With great apprehension, I collected the other 4 papers...'B+, B+, A, B'. I wrote 4 papers and each of these other Profs thought I wrote clearly and defended my thesis properly. Each of them had something to say about my style and structure. Yet this one, Ginsberg, who I sadly had some respect for, thought I was terrible. In the last few weeks I pierced it all together. There was another student in the class, he was Spanish and was a Church minister. His name was Joao. His paper was 14 pages and his English and structure was horrific! It was truly terrible. Yet Ginsberg gave him a 'B'. Unbelievable! I was shocked and stunned and... Furious!! What it boiled down to was fear and favouritism and some kowtowing on Ginsburg's behalf. I think Ginsberg was nervous since there was someone who could challenge him or call him on something and who had authority.
It taught me a valuable lesson. One I carried all through my life. People, no matter what age must earn respect. I refuse to respect someone just because they are older. Hell, I have seen so many people who as they get older become more and more entrenched in their way of thinking. Perhaps thats why I had such problems when I was teaching. Having these teachers who were older, thinking that I needed to be taken under their wing. How patronizing was that! Sheesh.
I pray that this does not happen to me this time around. I want to be a part of something bigger and hopefully better. I hope to contribute and not 'suck the marrow' out of life.