Sushi and retardedness
so yeah...my parents celebrated their anniversary today..which was about 95% of a disaster.
First of all...allthe shit in my room is collecting cootie type bug things..they are now biting me in my sleep and I won't have that..these two past mornings I've woked with atleast 6 bites on my leg *thinking it'd be fleas from my dogs and it wasn't* the next day more ichyness and a giant bubbley bite thing on my neck..I'd lost it by about 8am today. I started cleaning everything like crazy and tossing everything as well..and everyone's shit eithre made it back into their room or on the porch awaiting the fate of trash day. Fuck that...I don't wanna get eatin' by nasty gross insects..I'm sure my family thought it was quite nice to have storage for the time I was at school and not move it for a long ass time...and when I finally moved it I started getting eaten...eww..
So, my parents I guess let me tag along cause they just don't want to sit in a room with each other and eat cause they drive each other nuts..bleh..but I got free sushi and tiramasu..mmm..I had Chirashi, which is assorted raw fish over rice like salmon, fatty tuna, tuna, mackeral, and sweet egg with wasabi and ginger slices..yum! I also had as an appetizer sliced Octopus in vinager and damn was it good! My mom thinks its gross and my Dad tried it and said it tasted like nothing..oh well..too bad cause I think its yummy!
Anyway, so my Mom decides to tell my Dad on the same day as their anniversary celebration that shes back into big debt again and needs a signature from my dad so she can take a loan out against her retirement money. Hes just pissed and then just gives up or whatever...see..my Mom has a HUGE problem with spending money and not being able to pay her bills *especially on time*. She is an emotional spender so when she gets mad...she spends lots of money and my Mom these days instead of seeking help just goes deeper into depression and buys lots of food, clothes, and other things she doesn't fucking need. So...the previous time she was in debt my parents took out a 2nd Morgage on their house to fix all her credit cards and debt...so we thought it was fixed....oh no...she did it all over again and got into atleast $20,000 over in debt in credit card bills and other bills *not including student loans she has to pay too*. SO...needless to say my Dad wasn't happy causeshe has to get the signature from my Dad cause in case they divorce my Dad gets half my Mom's money and vice versa...he has to ok and sign sayin' its ok for her to take out that money...bleh...what wackiness.
Its just frustrating that I can't get any help because my Mom can't get a hold of her problems and fix them...and her biggest problem is financial problems...she never has fucking enough stuff! Shes the ultimate pack-rat...its bad.
Its just frustrating to be in so much debt right now and be the last one in line as far as children go and know I can't get any fucking help cause my lazy fucking brother makes my Mom in debt. She has told me of how much fucking money she spends on that cocksucker and it makes me sick. It makes me sick because I have no respect for a 32 year old man that doesn't pay his parents rent to live at home, doesn't contribute a dime towards any food/bill expenses, AND gets her to pay his car insurance/school loans. What the fuck is wrong with him?!!? And what the fuck is wrong with my mother?!!? He, as far as I am concerned, is the reason why I can't get any financial help from my parents...hes is the crutch in my family and I swear to god right now...whe my parents die he will have nothing...he'll have nothing because he'll have realized how hes had it made all his life and how much he depended on my parents and I won't be there for him. fuck him...hes done so much wrong to me and said so many evil things to me that its to the point where its unforgivable. My sister may help him *but I also doubt that cause he tortured her pretty bad too* but hes getting nothing from me. I don't respect him and I will never help him ever again cause hes used up whatever good I had to offer him. For all I care he could live on the street in a cardboard box and I wouldn't care cause as far as I'm concerned we share blood...he was the first in line and hes my brother, but I didn't choose him as a brother...therefore I don't have to like him nor help him ever again cause hes used up all of my sympathy and kindess..theres just nothing left for him from me and I owe him nothing...I owe him nothing cause hes put me in a position where I have nothing and he makes my life every single day harder and harder to live and be happy. It just won't happen in we are under the same roof...so..the only way is that I know I have to move, but still..its ont fair that I'm being driven out of my parents house cause my brother is a lazy fucker and hes doing it on purpose.
I just can't even express how unhappy I am as a person in this house and its sad cause the only thing I have right now is starting at Walden Books part time..I've just been reduced to lower than what i started...honestly...is this what a College education is going to get me? Cause damn...this is retarded. Maybe i should have gone into computer repair or engineering or something that I would have been able to get a job as soon as I got outta school so I could get these fucking bills paid, I can move out, and start actually living my life the way I want, eating the food I want to eat, exercising whenever the fuck I wanna feel like exercising, and just be really fucking happy.
I just don't know what to do know cause i've realized how retarded graphic design is. You need experience to get in and when you graduate you don't have experience...but no place wants newbies..its stupid. I honestly should just look into repairing computers..like hardware or something that pays good money other than retail..
I just fucking hate living right now...but...eh...I start at Walden Books so I gotta find some peppy whatever to be fucking happy about the job to keep it..
retarded...
First of all...allthe shit in my room is collecting cootie type bug things..they are now biting me in my sleep and I won't have that..these two past mornings I've woked with atleast 6 bites on my leg *thinking it'd be fleas from my dogs and it wasn't* the next day more ichyness and a giant bubbley bite thing on my neck..I'd lost it by about 8am today. I started cleaning everything like crazy and tossing everything as well..and everyone's shit eithre made it back into their room or on the porch awaiting the fate of trash day. Fuck that...I don't wanna get eatin' by nasty gross insects..I'm sure my family thought it was quite nice to have storage for the time I was at school and not move it for a long ass time...and when I finally moved it I started getting eaten...eww..
So, my parents I guess let me tag along cause they just don't want to sit in a room with each other and eat cause they drive each other nuts..bleh..but I got free sushi and tiramasu..mmm..I had Chirashi, which is assorted raw fish over rice like salmon, fatty tuna, tuna, mackeral, and sweet egg with wasabi and ginger slices..yum! I also had as an appetizer sliced Octopus in vinager and damn was it good! My mom thinks its gross and my Dad tried it and said it tasted like nothing..oh well..too bad cause I think its yummy!
Anyway, so my Mom decides to tell my Dad on the same day as their anniversary celebration that shes back into big debt again and needs a signature from my dad so she can take a loan out against her retirement money. Hes just pissed and then just gives up or whatever...see..my Mom has a HUGE problem with spending money and not being able to pay her bills *especially on time*. She is an emotional spender so when she gets mad...she spends lots of money and my Mom these days instead of seeking help just goes deeper into depression and buys lots of food, clothes, and other things she doesn't fucking need. So...the previous time she was in debt my parents took out a 2nd Morgage on their house to fix all her credit cards and debt...so we thought it was fixed....oh no...she did it all over again and got into atleast $20,000 over in debt in credit card bills and other bills *not including student loans she has to pay too*. SO...needless to say my Dad wasn't happy causeshe has to get the signature from my Dad cause in case they divorce my Dad gets half my Mom's money and vice versa...he has to ok and sign sayin' its ok for her to take out that money...bleh...what wackiness.
Its just frustrating that I can't get any help because my Mom can't get a hold of her problems and fix them...and her biggest problem is financial problems...she never has fucking enough stuff! Shes the ultimate pack-rat...its bad.
Its just frustrating to be in so much debt right now and be the last one in line as far as children go and know I can't get any fucking help cause my lazy fucking brother makes my Mom in debt. She has told me of how much fucking money she spends on that cocksucker and it makes me sick. It makes me sick because I have no respect for a 32 year old man that doesn't pay his parents rent to live at home, doesn't contribute a dime towards any food/bill expenses, AND gets her to pay his car insurance/school loans. What the fuck is wrong with him?!!? And what the fuck is wrong with my mother?!!? He, as far as I am concerned, is the reason why I can't get any financial help from my parents...hes is the crutch in my family and I swear to god right now...whe my parents die he will have nothing...he'll have nothing because he'll have realized how hes had it made all his life and how much he depended on my parents and I won't be there for him. fuck him...hes done so much wrong to me and said so many evil things to me that its to the point where its unforgivable. My sister may help him *but I also doubt that cause he tortured her pretty bad too* but hes getting nothing from me. I don't respect him and I will never help him ever again cause hes used up whatever good I had to offer him. For all I care he could live on the street in a cardboard box and I wouldn't care cause as far as I'm concerned we share blood...he was the first in line and hes my brother, but I didn't choose him as a brother...therefore I don't have to like him nor help him ever again cause hes used up all of my sympathy and kindess..theres just nothing left for him from me and I owe him nothing...I owe him nothing cause hes put me in a position where I have nothing and he makes my life every single day harder and harder to live and be happy. It just won't happen in we are under the same roof...so..the only way is that I know I have to move, but still..its ont fair that I'm being driven out of my parents house cause my brother is a lazy fucker and hes doing it on purpose.
I just can't even express how unhappy I am as a person in this house and its sad cause the only thing I have right now is starting at Walden Books part time..I've just been reduced to lower than what i started...honestly...is this what a College education is going to get me? Cause damn...this is retarded. Maybe i should have gone into computer repair or engineering or something that I would have been able to get a job as soon as I got outta school so I could get these fucking bills paid, I can move out, and start actually living my life the way I want, eating the food I want to eat, exercising whenever the fuck I wanna feel like exercising, and just be really fucking happy.
I just don't know what to do know cause i've realized how retarded graphic design is. You need experience to get in and when you graduate you don't have experience...but no place wants newbies..its stupid. I honestly should just look into repairing computers..like hardware or something that pays good money other than retail..
I just fucking hate living right now...but...eh...I start at Walden Books so I gotta find some peppy whatever to be fucking happy about the job to keep it..
retarded...