Efficency. In five easy steps.
1. Accidentally knock over the salt shaker. As you watch it tumble to the floor hope against the laws of physics of these things that it does not fall on it's top.
2. Curse as it falls on it's top.
3. IMPORTANT: When picking salt shaker up from the floor, DO NOT TURN IT UPRIGHT. Maintain the bottom up as you lift FOR MAXIMUM SPILLAGE.
4. Consider self-induced headdesking.
5. As you sweep off the little white hillock standing in bold contrast with the dark tiles of your floor, take a moment to indulge in florid prose and then consider yourself lucky for your lack of superstition.
5a. Should you happen to believe in these things, proceed to toss approximately a teaspoonful of salt over left shoulder in order to counteract/avoid whatever effect spilled salt is supposed to have on your right shoulder life.
5ai. Er, sweep off the intentionally tossed salt?
Thank you for reading, and may I wish you a happy water-retention free, low sodium life (until tomorrow, anyway, when you can go to the convenience store to get more salt).
::curtsies::
2. Curse as it falls on it's top.
3. IMPORTANT: When picking salt shaker up from the floor, DO NOT TURN IT UPRIGHT. Maintain the bottom up as you lift FOR MAXIMUM SPILLAGE.
4. Consider self-induced headdesking.
5. As you sweep off the little white hillock standing in bold contrast with the dark tiles of your floor, take a moment to indulge in florid prose and then consider yourself lucky for your lack of superstition.
5a. Should you happen to believe in these things, proceed to toss approximately a teaspoonful of salt over left shoulder in order to counteract/avoid whatever effect spilled salt is supposed to have on your right shoulder life.
5ai. Er, sweep off the intentionally tossed salt?
Thank you for reading, and may I wish you a happy water-retention free, low sodium life (until tomorrow, anyway, when you can go to the convenience store to get more salt).
::curtsies::