(no subject)
I’m ready to graduate. There's no better way to put it. I've had so much fun these past four years, meeting new people, challenging myself in academics, music, and theater. Most of all I feel like I've become a much more confident, intelligent, and better person. I've impressed myself to be honest. Just comparing myself to how I was in Middle School, I can believe how much I've changed. It's not that I'm being arrogant; it's just that I can comprehend how it all happened. I'm really proud of what I've accomplished in high school, on all levels: academically, socially, musically, and just gaining a clearer perception of the world. I will always remember high school as a great new experience in my life.
However, all this being said, I think it's really time for me to move on from High School. This year has been a very strange one, almost surreal. A lot of my good friends were in the class of 05 and just being a senior did not feel right. I still have a lot of good friends at high school, but it didn't feel the same this year. Like I had less people to hang around with. I didn't feel mature enough to take on the role. Directing was a difficult experience and both the music and theater departments seemed to fall away. Hartman leaving really affected me and the music department. Granted, Hartman had kind of already checked out, but not having him there for graduation is so strange and has left me feeling cold. I've gotten to know Mr. White better, but it just isn't the same as sitting down and having either hilarious or thought provoking conversations with Hartman. He was always able to put a smile on my face. As for Mr. Boswell, he was pretty much out of the scene from the beginning of the year. Even though this is the year I've probably gotten along the best with him, I still would rather him be back and directing the shows. All in all, it just feels strange leaving high school, and these amazing programs have fallen apart. It makes me feel extremely detached to B-CC, as if it almost never happened. I will remember high school as a great time, but I'm not sad that I'm leaving it behind.
As for looking ahead… Vassar is going to be amazing! I can't explain how psyched I am for it. I can finally imagine myself living at a college, which is pretty big step for me. I can't wait to go there and I know that no matter what, I'm going to love being there. It's very comforting to know that you're going to a place where you'll fit in and you know you'll have so much to do there. That being said though, the financial part of this amazing college is really annoying/frightening me. Vassar is well over $40,000 a year and since it is a sister of an ivy league, is need-based financial-aid only. Living in Bethesda, it is not hard to imagine that my family can pay for this college, but it means I will be leaving with a fair amount of loans and no money for graduate school. It is a very conflicting situation, since I want to go so badly, but I'm pretty sure I'll be heading off to graduate school afterwards. On top of all that, Vassar also will only accept up to 4 AP credits, IF they feel like it. Now that just pisses me off. They accept almost none of the AP classes I'm taking. Granted, they may let me skip introductory courses, but it makes me wonder why I'm taking these classes in the first place. And of course, this all ties into the money issue. I was hoping I might be able to graduate early so I wouldn't have to pay as much, but Vassar isn't even giving me that option. I know I may be overreacting, but I'm usually over-careful with my money and now I'm just throwing it all away for undergraduate school, and I just keep thinking, "is it worth it?"
All that aside, I'm still extremely excited to go to Vassar. I've just spending almost everyday looking for scholarships, but I haven't found much. I just need to find some way to pay for college! This is really freaking me out!
So finishing this up. I am extremely excited to graduate. This is hopefully going to be an eventful month, followed by an eventful summer. I'm trying desperately to get a job, and seeing as many people/doing as many things as I can during these next few months. If you have any ideas about money/jobs, want to hang out, or just leave a comment, I always appreciate it.
However, all this being said, I think it's really time for me to move on from High School. This year has been a very strange one, almost surreal. A lot of my good friends were in the class of 05 and just being a senior did not feel right. I still have a lot of good friends at high school, but it didn't feel the same this year. Like I had less people to hang around with. I didn't feel mature enough to take on the role. Directing was a difficult experience and both the music and theater departments seemed to fall away. Hartman leaving really affected me and the music department. Granted, Hartman had kind of already checked out, but not having him there for graduation is so strange and has left me feeling cold. I've gotten to know Mr. White better, but it just isn't the same as sitting down and having either hilarious or thought provoking conversations with Hartman. He was always able to put a smile on my face. As for Mr. Boswell, he was pretty much out of the scene from the beginning of the year. Even though this is the year I've probably gotten along the best with him, I still would rather him be back and directing the shows. All in all, it just feels strange leaving high school, and these amazing programs have fallen apart. It makes me feel extremely detached to B-CC, as if it almost never happened. I will remember high school as a great time, but I'm not sad that I'm leaving it behind.
As for looking ahead… Vassar is going to be amazing! I can't explain how psyched I am for it. I can finally imagine myself living at a college, which is pretty big step for me. I can't wait to go there and I know that no matter what, I'm going to love being there. It's very comforting to know that you're going to a place where you'll fit in and you know you'll have so much to do there. That being said though, the financial part of this amazing college is really annoying/frightening me. Vassar is well over $40,000 a year and since it is a sister of an ivy league, is need-based financial-aid only. Living in Bethesda, it is not hard to imagine that my family can pay for this college, but it means I will be leaving with a fair amount of loans and no money for graduate school. It is a very conflicting situation, since I want to go so badly, but I'm pretty sure I'll be heading off to graduate school afterwards. On top of all that, Vassar also will only accept up to 4 AP credits, IF they feel like it. Now that just pisses me off. They accept almost none of the AP classes I'm taking. Granted, they may let me skip introductory courses, but it makes me wonder why I'm taking these classes in the first place. And of course, this all ties into the money issue. I was hoping I might be able to graduate early so I wouldn't have to pay as much, but Vassar isn't even giving me that option. I know I may be overreacting, but I'm usually over-careful with my money and now I'm just throwing it all away for undergraduate school, and I just keep thinking, "is it worth it?"
All that aside, I'm still extremely excited to go to Vassar. I've just spending almost everyday looking for scholarships, but I haven't found much. I just need to find some way to pay for college! This is really freaking me out!
So finishing this up. I am extremely excited to graduate. This is hopefully going to be an eventful month, followed by an eventful summer. I'm trying desperately to get a job, and seeing as many people/doing as many things as I can during these next few months. If you have any ideas about money/jobs, want to hang out, or just leave a comment, I always appreciate it.