SPEAKING ITS NAME

[manyfacesofme22]

Hi, flist.

Well, it is the eve of the most important exams I have sat thus far in my life, so obviously I’m going to talk about

MY SEXUALITY.

Ahaha what is this “supposed to be applying for Oxford” of which you speak?

Anyway. For (*thinks*) probably about two years I have been seriously considering being a homosexual. Yes, I am pretty sure I like

Comments

[seagreenish]

The way I see it is, sexuality isn't a set thing. It's fluid, for most people. I'm not saying that people can be socially conditioned into a sexuality, but I know for me personally, when I'm with my gay friends I feel more comfortable about the times I'm attracted to ladies, and when I'm with more straight friends, I find I'm thinking about guys. (I'm openly bi, I should probably have already said.) Neither group encourages me to feel either way, it's more just that the topics of conversation and such start shifting my mind in that direction when I'm with those people, if that makes any sense. It doesn't change my sexuality, it just means that in one particular space and moment, I'm leaning towards a different part of it.

It is inconvenient being gay, or in a gay relationship. However, it can be inconvenient being in any sort of relationship. When it comes down to it, when you fall in love with someone and they love you back, the inconveniences stop being so important. Cliche, corny, whatever, I think there's truth to that. It's those endorphins or whatever that you get from being around that other person - ok, your relationship is inconvenient, but you're happy so you care less. As for the problems of meeting someone - well, there's no need to narrow your options! Instead of thinking "there are only this many other gay people for me to be with", look at it as "there are ALL THESE PEOPLE in the world, there are SO MANY PEOPLE and one of them will be right for me". My friend knows a lady who is marrying her girlfriend this year - before they got together she had never considered being homosexual, but then this lady came into her life and swept her off her feet and now they're getting lesbimarried and it's grand. So that 5% can turn into 6% any time.

...anyway, 5% of the world's population is actually quite a lot of people. And who wants to be one of the big crowd, anyway? :)

This is probably quite unhelpful. It is late, I am rambling and I hope none of this is offensive! My advice would be to just enjoy your girlcrush, and don't worry about being a homo or a hetero or a bothie. Just go with how you feel, when you feel it.

you can’t have a gay crush on the Ordained <-- I desperately want evidence to the contrary now.

Good luck with those exams!

[manyfacesofme22]

First things first: serious icon love.

No no, none of it is offensive or ramblish at all. It might not be helpful, to be honest, but nonetheless it is much appreciated. And amusing!

Anyway the social conditioning thing is what I'm going to keep in mind. If and when I finally meet more than, ooh, two boys of approximately my age who are not my relatives, I will be in much more of a position to work things out.

"...anyway, 5% of the world's population is actually quite a lot of people." <- truedat

Thanks for the exam luck. I had Spanish today and, while I don't want to commit hubris (I have Classics tomorrow so it seems rather relevent), I don't think I bombed or anything.
And, you know, thanks in general.