So, I spent the weekened with
aghostchild.
I had a supercool time. When I arrived we exchanged presents. She gave me this awesome Ailen Sex Fiend shirt. Nik Fiend looks totally insane and happy about it. I <3 him.
We went to sushi and had yummynummy japanese food then we went for a walk to the park were we discussed goth clubs and siouxsie. On the second day we went to the mall, then to border's books were I bought a bunch of novels to keep me busy. Afterwards we got some starbucks then went to the grocery store where this lady singled us out and gave us panphlets. She had touched my shoulder, nodded condecendingly, then said "I'll be praying for you." I wouldn't have minded so much if she had seemed genuinely worried about my immortal soul as opposed to just racking up her jesus points for the day. Bitch.
Emily made me a christian death CD and is going to put some oter death rock bands on some disks for me to listen to. I look forward to it. We picked out some books for me to borrow while I'm in Ione to keep me occupied. Fun fun.
Lets see... hum... We went to CPK and had yummynummy food then went home and discussed medication because I was going to see Dr. Thor the next day. Then bedtime followed by morning where we sat and talked about movies we disliked. I continually mentioned movies I liked, but thought she wouldn't like, so I'm really bad at that game.
So, I left emily's on monday and went to see Dr. Thor. Yeehaa.
Dr. Thor was okay. Emily told me about his expensive but rediculous shoes and I had almost laughed aloud while we were discussing medications to help my anxiety, depression, and insomnia when I saw them. Brown and square. :) Anyways, we had discussed possiblities. I told him what Emily and I had discussed about possible medications. Trazodone was one, but the problem with that was that its been known to activate bi-polar disorder, and since that runs in my family I chose against it. Then ambien came up. I was also reluctant about that. It eventually got to the point where he was naming drugs and I was just giving him looks. He said: "Alex, you say you want to try some medication to help, yet everytime I mention one, you make a face." I just said that while I *wanted* to try some medication, I was nervous.
We eventually agreed that my depression and anxiety will take care of themselves when I get my licence and am able to visit friends more often and escape Ione. As for my sleep, he prescribed me Ambien. It was that or trazodone, and the idea of it activating bi-polar disorder is frightening.
So, I took the ambien last night. It made me just a little bit loopy, but all in all it wasn't that bad. And I remember last night vividly and had no hallucinations which is good.
It is my hope that the shit storm that's been happening since I was sixteen is almost over. I think it is. Then maybe my anxiety, depression, and insomnia will clear up and I will have a nice happy status quo.
I love you all. :)
Ta-ta