Entry 4

[many_roses]

It's been a while since I wrote in this, hasn't it?

Oh, well. It's just a journal.

Comments

[hero_of_dark]

I... think you meant to make that private...

.........

Yubel... that post we made back then really bothered you, didn't it? I guess I didn't consider how you'd feel when we did it, we were so involved in teasing the other Juudai...

...Sorry.

...And... I don't want you to have to take sides in this little war between us, believe me. I don't even want to participate in it, to tell the truth. I would've left him alone if he'd have left me alone instead of tried to kill me, which is where the whole mess started, I think

[many_roses]

...Oh. Oops. That's, um, fixed now.

Wait a minute. He tried to kill you?

...Tell you what, Judai. I've already gone to see him so I can't ask now, but I'll see if I can talk to him sometime about this. Maybe I'm being a little too optimistic here, but if there's some way to work things out then it'd be great if we could get to that.

And I have confidence in you. Don't worry.

[hero_of_dark]

Yes, he tried to kill me. It was before the fusion, when he first arrived and then found out what happened to Kaiser.

Well... maybe he'll listen to you. I hope so. I really don't know, though; he's just so unpredictable.

Thanks... I appreciate you saying that. And, well... everything, really.

[many_roses]

Then I definitely have to talk to him. Cuffs or not, I wouldn't like to see that happen again.

I'll do all I can, I promise. And thank you, too--you've helped me a lot since I got here.

[Screened to OU!Judai]

[misguidedherald]

You should have considered her reaction, given who she is, alter. I am surprised that the Yubel with whom you have bonded allows you to make a mockery out of the bond that you two supposedly share, by continuing to fool around with that Andersen boy.

Yes birds of a feather always seem to flock together, do they not? In that sense, at least, the two of you fit each other perfectly -- just as wanton in fulfilling your desires, with little consideration for anything or anyone else.

....I have said it once and I will say it again, alter -- you know very little of me and my circumstances. There are no comparisons to be made between the two of us, given that you stand guilty of harming those that give purpose to the both of us, while I have not and will not do so, even if it would mean bringing an end to my own existence!

And now, you would stand as the saint -- the one who wishes to aid everyone -- even though your hands are just as spattered with blood as mine? You would wish to 'aid' me, to make me see the world as you do, in your

[Screened to AU!Judai]

[hero_of_dark]

Yubel allows it because Yubel is happy now. She's where she belongs -- right with me, in every sense of the word. She cannot protect me any better than from within me.

As for the other Yubel, I had forgotten, and I apologized. She doesn't seem to hate me for it or anything, so I assume it's over with now, and we can move on. Don't drag it on any longer than it needs to be dragged on like you did last time -- and are still doing.

...I wasn't going to tell you this, but when you were delirious when the gas was spread around the compound... I approached you. And you thought I was Osamu-niisan. The same one Yubel put in the hospital when we -- both of us -- were younger.

We're more similar than you think, Juudai. I had begun to doubt that, but when you mistook me for him, the way you acted... I realized otherwise.

I don't care if you don't see the world as I do. I know you never will, because you're not me. But I just wish you didn't let your negativity govern your existence like you do.

Oh, and... stay the hell away from Johan, will

[Screened to OU!Judai]

[misguidedherald]

[Judging by the time-stamp marked upon the electronic message, the fact that it had been written more than twenty minutes after the previous reply had been received is easily discernible -- as if Judai had struggled to somehow come to terms with what his alter had told him, an attempt whose success was debatable at best]

You... That was a dream! Merely a baseless illusion, with no ties to truth and reality! Such a thing is not possible.... you are not Osamu-niisan, you were not him, in those moments -- not you, of all possible wretches!

[Even though the message hadn't been transmitted through the audio recording function, the sender's livid anger and nearly irrational rage is all-too-apparent even within the black words typed upon a white, flickering electronic screen. That he had written phrases which were remotely articulate and coherent was a consequence of the fact that he had taken enough time as to gather his wits, after receiving a particularly nasty shock]

[Screened to AU!Judai]

[hero_of_dark]

You're right, I'm not Osamu-niisan... but you were hallucinating so badly that you thought I was. Hard to digest, I know, but I'm not lying to you.