Picking up the fragments of a foreign life...
After re-reading old fics for two days (most of them embarrassingly bad, and some of them, a.k.a Mieko's, still holding their own), and flitting through the last books, all of which got me thoroughly depressed for some reason -- I mean, on the one hand it was "nice" to be depressed about something other than usual, but it felt so bittersweet and really got me down. For a while it felt like I could never write again because it all was in the past, and I could not get out of my head the feeling that the characters had now grown up and I couldn't go back and rewrite their school-years.
That was until yesterday evening, when I decided to browse WeHeartIt for pictures of the cast. And found some amazing Emma Watson pics.....and then found some Bonnie Wright pics and realized she had finally grown up and now looked more like a woman than a little girl, finally, finally looked like I pictured Ginny to be.
And watching her, and watching Emma, made me realize that maybe in the books's timeline they would all be older by now, but the actors were still there, still young, and I could still feel connected to those stories.
I've re-read some of my own stories, of course, but none inspire me as much as La Courbe, as usual. The other ones are probably better written, but they feel foreign now, I don't know if I could get back into the frame of mind I was when I first started writing them.
And as always happens whenever I think about continuing this particular story, my first dreadful instinct is to rewrite what's already written. Last I did that, I improved the first chapters, but never passed the point where I'd stopped the first time around. *facepalm*
And yet, and yet, there are still things to improve (Appendix 1 is almost perfect but for those two minutes leading to the kiss, and I still hate Ginny and Harry's interactions), but what struck me most of all this time is that it just doesn't fit with their 5th year. I wrote it then at the time because Book 6 hadn't been released (hell, when I started it I'm pretty sure book 5 hadn't been released either), but now that I think about the timeline, and about Ginny's character, it just feels...off.
Likewise, the story starts on March 17th just because it had such a sentimental importance to me (and it is only as I am writing this that it finally hits me that this date has become my anniversary date, which sucks. How come I never noticed this before? It's like that day was cut in two...), but it was such a pain in the a.. to have everything start so late in the year. And then I decided to merge it with the events of OotP and it was even more of a nightmare because nothing that happened in cannon would work with my own timeline.
It would be much easier to have it all start near the beginning of the year, and follow (more or less closely, since Voldemort has never been the point of this story) the events of HBP, which makes much more sense with how Ginny's acting, the way the Trio has accepted her as one of them, and would also allow me to make Ron act like an idiot and go snog Lavender (and have Hermione make a fool of herself with whatshispickle at Slughorn's party).
Now my only fear is, like I said, what if I do rewrite everything, and then get stuck just where I got stuck before?
Also, R. has absolutely no understanding of Fanfiction, refuses to learn about it or try and understand its appeal, and cannot acknowledge the concentration that goes with writing/reading it either (which is rich coming from someone who used to be a Dungeon master and knows everything about roleplaying), so I'm expecting many a fight in the upcoming future if I start writing again. He'll probably end up being jealous of the characters, what's more (and be quite right about it, too...thinking about Hermione, Ron and the others these past few days got my heart beating faster and pumping blood more strongly than it has in years) (and I do not mean in a slutty way).
That was until yesterday evening, when I decided to browse WeHeartIt for pictures of the cast. And found some amazing Emma Watson pics.....and then found some Bonnie Wright pics and realized she had finally grown up and now looked more like a woman than a little girl, finally, finally looked like I pictured Ginny to be.
And watching her, and watching Emma, made me realize that maybe in the books's timeline they would all be older by now, but the actors were still there, still young, and I could still feel connected to those stories.
I've re-read some of my own stories, of course, but none inspire me as much as La Courbe, as usual. The other ones are probably better written, but they feel foreign now, I don't know if I could get back into the frame of mind I was when I first started writing them.
And as always happens whenever I think about continuing this particular story, my first dreadful instinct is to rewrite what's already written. Last I did that, I improved the first chapters, but never passed the point where I'd stopped the first time around. *facepalm*
And yet, and yet, there are still things to improve (Appendix 1 is almost perfect but for those two minutes leading to the kiss, and I still hate Ginny and Harry's interactions), but what struck me most of all this time is that it just doesn't fit with their 5th year. I wrote it then at the time because Book 6 hadn't been released (hell, when I started it I'm pretty sure book 5 hadn't been released either), but now that I think about the timeline, and about Ginny's character, it just feels...off.
Likewise, the story starts on March 17th just because it had such a sentimental importance to me (and it is only as I am writing this that it finally hits me that this date has become my anniversary date, which sucks. How come I never noticed this before? It's like that day was cut in two...), but it was such a pain in the a.. to have everything start so late in the year. And then I decided to merge it with the events of OotP and it was even more of a nightmare because nothing that happened in cannon would work with my own timeline.
It would be much easier to have it all start near the beginning of the year, and follow (more or less closely, since Voldemort has never been the point of this story) the events of HBP, which makes much more sense with how Ginny's acting, the way the Trio has accepted her as one of them, and would also allow me to make Ron act like an idiot and go snog Lavender (and have Hermione make a fool of herself with whatshispickle at Slughorn's party).
Now my only fear is, like I said, what if I do rewrite everything, and then get stuck just where I got stuck before?
Also, R. has absolutely no understanding of Fanfiction, refuses to learn about it or try and understand its appeal, and cannot acknowledge the concentration that goes with writing/reading it either (which is rich coming from someone who used to be a Dungeon master and knows everything about roleplaying), so I'm expecting many a fight in the upcoming future if I start writing again. He'll probably end up being jealous of the characters, what's more (and be quite right about it, too...thinking about Hermione, Ron and the others these past few days got my heart beating faster and pumping blood more strongly than it has in years) (and I do not mean in a slutty way).