when i get back here, its gunna be a whole other year..........and will you be around?
we stood in my kitche, for minutes, or hours. just time. i didnt want to leave, but knew that eventually i would have to. the start to our precious limited time. i told my mother i was going to be late, and i didnt care if i got yelled at, i didnt matter to me anymore. so i just stood there, in the space between my basement stairwell and my kitchen wall. it wasnt a nice day. clouds covered the majority of the sun, and left little to flow in through the oversixed windows and onto your hands.
i dont remember looking at you much, as i pressed my back up against the narrow strip of wall that seperated the stairs from another room. i was probably scared, scared of you not saying what i wanted you to, scared of levaing you again for months, and going without so much as a word, scared of you never knowing that for the past year, everytime i had talked to you about him, and everytime you had seen me with him, all i wanted was to be closer to you. so i kept my eyes low. and let them fall over your handsm and your wallet.
"goodluck tonight, i know youll be amazing, i know you will."
i just smiled and laughed. no one can be amazing in 20 pounds of costume. but i let you think it all the same.
i remember most of what you said, even though i thought that you were starting to ramble, wondreing how many times you could wish me goodluck. and then you stopped.
"i dont want to be the guy that keeps you upstairs for too long"
i laughed, completely forced. and told you that no one minded, because they all loved you.
the shadows of our bodies moved on the wall. i barely looked up at you before you kissed me. it was simple. and then we walked downstairs.
i sat with my legs crossed, and your hand in my hand, and out hands on my knees the whole way to your house. and for the entire night, even though clad with excessive jewlery, and petty coats under wool skirts.
i smiled.
i dont remember looking at you much, as i pressed my back up against the narrow strip of wall that seperated the stairs from another room. i was probably scared, scared of you not saying what i wanted you to, scared of levaing you again for months, and going without so much as a word, scared of you never knowing that for the past year, everytime i had talked to you about him, and everytime you had seen me with him, all i wanted was to be closer to you. so i kept my eyes low. and let them fall over your handsm and your wallet.
"goodluck tonight, i know youll be amazing, i know you will."
i just smiled and laughed. no one can be amazing in 20 pounds of costume. but i let you think it all the same.
i remember most of what you said, even though i thought that you were starting to ramble, wondreing how many times you could wish me goodluck. and then you stopped.
"i dont want to be the guy that keeps you upstairs for too long"
i laughed, completely forced. and told you that no one minded, because they all loved you.
the shadows of our bodies moved on the wall. i barely looked up at you before you kissed me. it was simple. and then we walked downstairs.
i sat with my legs crossed, and your hand in my hand, and out hands on my knees the whole way to your house. and for the entire night, even though clad with excessive jewlery, and petty coats under wool skirts.
i smiled.