What Else Is New!?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......So what else is new. Today has been a great week so far. I won 150$ in the football pool Im in..I'm also in second place for the 500$ prize..SWEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't have to pay off my T.V. anymore since help the guy so much he told me not to worry about it. Then I plug the cable in at my house and find out that it works!!!!! SWEETNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So other than that I have discovered that I am right as always. It's funny how I set people up to make themselves look so stupid. Then I feel so much better and reinforce that my feelings from the beggining that were right. Usuually, I just get persuaded that I am wrong, people can't take my emotions. I am honest and strightforward with them when I need to be, and it's funny because most people act like they have no emotions and I think I throw them totally off by just being honest when they ask for the truth. The sad part is I find myself being too nice too people and they can't bring thmselves to tell me the truth, hahaha that is the best part of all. I guess people can't be strong enough. HAHAHA People find my kindness weak, and yes they do take advantage of it. I have a new feeling about kindness though, it is my strength. It is the one thing I can be all the time and i can't be wrong for doing it. Then when people do fucked up things to me I don't feel like it was anything I did at all. Therefore it makes it their problem and not my own. Even after shit goes down people can't be honest...again not strong enough. People are good at telling others what they want them to hear and think, yet I see through it all and people can't begin to fathom how I know things before they tell me and what not...HAHAHAHA. I may still act like I don't know what's going on, just to get extra information out of it.........I think about 10 steps ahead of everyone else. It's not hard and because people are so predictable it has become sort of a hobby.......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA It's actually quite sick that I can do this, but I've had a few good teachers. Most people who think they have balls do, until they meet me. Then I get the best of them, KILL PEOPLE WITH KINDNESS>>>>>>>>>> It is a good saying and it is not a weakness but one of the ultimate strengths....
Yet I know that sometimes I can be the biggest asshole. Some people think that I am the biggest asshole to walk this earth. HAHA which can be true but don't give me a reason. Sometimes it is not really provoked, and it's because I'm angry, upset, in a bad mood yatta yatta yatta. Everyone has times they go through like this. I think I could be so much worse though. Sometimes I think that I should be. I hate hurting people though. It makes me feel badly afterwards, and hurting people is not something I find enjoyable anyway. Yet, sometimes people just like to hurt others. Then there are times that people act selfish and do not take into account that they could be hurting someone else. It doesn't mean they are trying to do this on purpose, but by their actions and what not it would seem that way. For people to be that selfish makes me sick, I mean I do it too I'm not perfect. Yet, there are people out there who just think about what they want and do not take other peoples feeling into consideration. I do not understand it because I am constantly thinking about others, not myself, others. is that what makes me so nice? Is that why I have to learn not to care?, because I can't please everyone. Either way, people go through what they have to go through in life to get to where they are suppose to be. Maybe I have these experiences to strengthen myself, and make myself more of an understanding and self-less person. I do not know in what direction I am headed or what the future holds. I do know that I am heading in the direction that I want to be. Still it is hard because there are many bumps along the way and your not always prepared for them. Sometimes the bumps throw you into a spiral spinning effect that can bring you down and make you feel weird and not yourself for days. I think the key though is to remeber that it does not matter because in the end everthing will work itself out how it was meant to be. But WTF do I know.....