Wow.....
The best I have felt in a little while anyway. Well stress and thinking about shit wise...I never knew being COMPLETLY honest was so hard. But it is, but it feels much better....I got so many things off my chest that I need to tell somone anyone, and it felt great to have a friend that truly seems genuine for once, still if I've learned anything it's that only time will tell. I made some mistakes that could have been completly blown up in my face. Luckily, someone finally understood and had some compassion for what I was feeling and going through. Although I was not yelled at I probably deserved it. It ended up being a step in the right direction, a new way of thinking and going about things. As for everything else....I'm not sure that I can always be completly honest because i am afraid that people really don't want to hear my honest feelings. I have always been told since I was a kid that my feelings were wrong or that they did not matter, but I know they do...hahah well maybe I am kidding myself....they are important to me. I guess you can't always like the answers you hear, but at least then you know the truth, so you can either get hurt and get it out of the way, or get out of being in the situatio at least then you know the truth right? Still, something about being honest is weird, do you only be honest when asked a question? Or should you be honest all the time rifling off the top of your head with how you truly feel? I would think that either would be the wrong way......I think that you have to make these descisions from the heart and really decide what is worthy and unworthy of being totally openly honest about. While protecting yourself from those people that we won't mention at this time....yet if you speak from the heart and how you truly feel than you can't short change yourself. Then you know where you stand and you let others know where they stand......I learned a few things tonight, but the most important is that there are some things I have to get over.....I think that I may still think like a kid sometimes, being niave to the coldness, cruelness, and dishonesty in the world.......but i just need to get over it and make myself a STRONGER person.....because sometimes I may not get a second chance.....haha and there is never a third chance.....