The "Fandoms as Exes" Meme
Courtesy of TSB. I encourage everyone to do this. I even added a few at the end.
The one who seduced you, screwed you over, broke your heart in a million pieces, and laughed about it:
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - Joss can roll his eyes at me all he wnats and accuse me of "just not getting it" or "not appreciating dark stories" or whatever other bullshit explanation he chooses to delude himself with. There is no forgiving Season Six. None. And I'm not even getting into Season Seven. We're done here.
The old flame you don't see very often anymore, but with whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant, nostalgic romp:
LORD OF THE RINGS - We've been separated by the years, and perhaps we've grown apart, but no one ever touched me like you did. Le melithan tenn' ambar-metta.
The mysterious dark one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 AM at weird coffee houses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized s/he really was just fucking crazy:
X-MEN: This really extends to all western comics, but none of them had me like X-Men did. From 1992-1996, I was your faithful and unquestioning bitch, and I'm lucky I got out alive. Multiple writers, conflicting continuity, no true mortality, a STORY THAT NEVER ENDS! God help me, I was sick, but damn, he looked fine on an empty street at 3 AM with the glow of 24-hour neon signs blinking on the side of his face.
The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor and whom you'd still really like to get with again, although you're relieved s/he doesn't actually live in town:
SANDMAN: Beautiful, smart, seductive, mind-blowing, and always good for a long, slow fuck that shakes your soul to its foundation... but I there is no way I could handle all that depth full-time.
The steady:
TEEN DRAMA: My one true love, we have our problems and our differences, and there have been times you've let me down, but in the end, you always find a way to give me what I need.
The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with:
ROCKY HORROR. It's a fun movie that I very much enjoy whenever I watch it and I love the energy of the live show not to mention the greater theme of sexual liberation, but it never quite claimed me the way I think everyone (including myself) expected it to.
The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with, but ultimately you're just good buddies:
TRUE BLOOD: I enjoy its company, and it makes me feel good, but at the ned of the day, I could never take it seriously enough to commit.
The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool person except it's never really gone anywhere:
DR. WHO. It looks fantastic, and I really trust my friends' tastes and judgment, but it's been easily five years, and I have yet to succumb.
The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at them and thinking, "How the hell did they land all these cool people?"
For all my friends BUT NOT me, JAMES BOND: I just... Do. Not. Get it.
For all my friends AND me, I'd have to say HARRY POTTER. Take another look from a few steps back. It really is pretty fucking ridiculous. I mean, I still love it, but come on, guys. Let's be real here. Most wanton abuse of the literary "freedoms" of magic ever.
The one who gave you the best damned summer of your life and against whom you measure all other potential partners:
ANIME: He was my everything once, and I am forever changed. We can't go back, but I will always love you.
The one you recently met at a party and would like to get to know better:
A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE. It's so new and exciting, and I'm dying to know more.
The old flame that you wouldn't totally object to hooking up with again for a one-night romp if they'd only clean up a bit:
DEGRASSI - Oh, how far you've fallen. Get your shit together, stop rehashing characters from the original cast, and we'll talk.
Your hot new flame:
AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER - After several years, you're still my hot new flame... a whirlwhind romance... a love deep as oceans that rocks my world.
The one whom you idolized when you were young and is still possessed of all the same charms you fell in love with, but stayed the same age while you grew up:
Um... RENT - It's still beautiful, still amazing, still inspiring, and the core message still holds up, but having spent my enitre adult life in abject poverty, I just don't romanticize it the way I used to. Call me an old fuddy duddy or a sell-out, but I need to have a bathroom I can clean -- for that matter, I need to have my own bathroom -- and yes, I'd like to get paid for my art, thank you. And Mark, Roger? I know Benny broke his word and that's totally his bad in this particular scenario, but big picture? Even Jonathan Larson had a part-time job and Subway is hiring, so quit your bitching, live on free sandwiches for a while, and use your wages to pay your fucking rent. We all have to. Even us artists.
The one that, after all these years, you still can't explain to other people, because you never quite found a way to explain it to yourself:
POWER RANGERS - I have given up trying to justify it. Love isn't rational.
The one you always wake up in bed with after a break-up:
BABYLON 5 - Whenever another story has let me down, I run to you, and a few days in your arms inspires me to love again.
The one who seduced you, screwed you over, broke your heart in a million pieces, and laughed about it:
BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - Joss can roll his eyes at me all he wnats and accuse me of "just not getting it" or "not appreciating dark stories" or whatever other bullshit explanation he chooses to delude himself with. There is no forgiving Season Six. None. And I'm not even getting into Season Seven. We're done here.
The old flame you don't see very often anymore, but with whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant, nostalgic romp:
LORD OF THE RINGS - We've been separated by the years, and perhaps we've grown apart, but no one ever touched me like you did. Le melithan tenn' ambar-metta.
The mysterious dark one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3 AM at weird coffee houses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized s/he really was just fucking crazy:
X-MEN: This really extends to all western comics, but none of them had me like X-Men did. From 1992-1996, I was your faithful and unquestioning bitch, and I'm lucky I got out alive. Multiple writers, conflicting continuity, no true mortality, a STORY THAT NEVER ENDS! God help me, I was sick, but damn, he looked fine on an empty street at 3 AM with the glow of 24-hour neon signs blinking on the side of his face.
The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor and whom you'd still really like to get with again, although you're relieved s/he doesn't actually live in town:
SANDMAN: Beautiful, smart, seductive, mind-blowing, and always good for a long, slow fuck that shakes your soul to its foundation... but I there is no way I could handle all that depth full-time.
The steady:
TEEN DRAMA: My one true love, we have our problems and our differences, and there have been times you've let me down, but in the end, you always find a way to give me what I need.
The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with:
ROCKY HORROR. It's a fun movie that I very much enjoy whenever I watch it and I love the energy of the live show not to mention the greater theme of sexual liberation, but it never quite claimed me the way I think everyone (including myself) expected it to.
The one you hang out with and have vague fantasies about maybe having a thing with, but ultimately you're just good buddies:
TRUE BLOOD: I enjoy its company, and it makes me feel good, but at the ned of the day, I could never take it seriously enough to commit.
The one your friends keep introducing you to and who seems like a hell of a cool person except it's never really gone anywhere:
DR. WHO. It looks fantastic, and I really trust my friends' tastes and judgment, but it's been easily five years, and I have yet to succumb.
The one who's slept with all your friends, and you keep looking at them and thinking, "How the hell did they land all these cool people?"
For all my friends BUT NOT me, JAMES BOND: I just... Do. Not. Get it.
For all my friends AND me, I'd have to say HARRY POTTER. Take another look from a few steps back. It really is pretty fucking ridiculous. I mean, I still love it, but come on, guys. Let's be real here. Most wanton abuse of the literary "freedoms" of magic ever.
The one who gave you the best damned summer of your life and against whom you measure all other potential partners:
ANIME: He was my everything once, and I am forever changed. We can't go back, but I will always love you.
The one you recently met at a party and would like to get to know better:
A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE. It's so new and exciting, and I'm dying to know more.
The old flame that you wouldn't totally object to hooking up with again for a one-night romp if they'd only clean up a bit:
DEGRASSI - Oh, how far you've fallen. Get your shit together, stop rehashing characters from the original cast, and we'll talk.
Your hot new flame:
AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER - After several years, you're still my hot new flame... a whirlwhind romance... a love deep as oceans that rocks my world.
The one whom you idolized when you were young and is still possessed of all the same charms you fell in love with, but stayed the same age while you grew up:
Um... RENT - It's still beautiful, still amazing, still inspiring, and the core message still holds up, but having spent my enitre adult life in abject poverty, I just don't romanticize it the way I used to. Call me an old fuddy duddy or a sell-out, but I need to have a bathroom I can clean -- for that matter, I need to have my own bathroom -- and yes, I'd like to get paid for my art, thank you. And Mark, Roger? I know Benny broke his word and that's totally his bad in this particular scenario, but big picture? Even Jonathan Larson had a part-time job and Subway is hiring, so quit your bitching, live on free sandwiches for a while, and use your wages to pay your fucking rent. We all have to. Even us artists.
The one that, after all these years, you still can't explain to other people, because you never quite found a way to explain it to yourself:
POWER RANGERS - I have given up trying to justify it. Love isn't rational.
The one you always wake up in bed with after a break-up:
BABYLON 5 - Whenever another story has let me down, I run to you, and a few days in your arms inspires me to love again.