Title: And Sunrise Teaches Us to Smile
Rating: PG
Length: 875
Fandom: Pretty Little Liars
Summary: It's strange, being happy.
Spoilers: through 3x09
A/N: This happens the morning after Emily and Paige practice synchronized swimming. I've never really understood the progression of time in Rosewood, so I'm saying it's a school day. I may have already started something else involving these two. I should probably acquire an appropriate icon.
It’s strange, being happy.
Emily had almost forgotten the way feeling can buoy you up. She’d gotten so used to emotion being a negative thing, to living in a world patterned by grief and anger and helplessness where numb was the best she could hope to be. (Not that the time since Maya’s death has been a uniform stretch of misery. There have been good and bad days but even on the best Emily felt like she was caught in quicksand, like she had to fight so hard for the smallest step forward.)
Today, though, there’s a lightness to things. She wakes up before her alarm goes off, hums the new Katy Perry song as she showers. All the business of morning seems easier, and at breakfast for the first time in a while it’s not a strain to return her mother’s smile.
The change must show: on the way to school she picks up Hanna, who does a double take at seeing her.
“OK, spill,” she says before she’s even in the car.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You can’t even keep from grinning long enough to say that.”
Emily glances from the road to Hanna, who looks ready to climb over the console and shake information out of her. She lets her lips quirk up higher, laughs at the impatience on Hanna’s face.
“I had a good night.”
“Come on, Em. We tried calling you for hours.”
“I had a good night with Paige.”
And Hanna actually claps her hands.
“Tell me everything! What happened? Are you guys together?”
“I think so.” Emily pauses. “It was just really nice, you know. To feel something good.”
There’s a world of affection in Hanna's smile.
“I’m so happy for you, Em. You deserve it.”
When they get to school Spencer is waiting. She seems even more crazed than usual.
“Hanna, did you tell her?”
“Tell me what?”
“That we haven’t made any progress with the site,” Aria says, appearing next to them. Spencer looks at her like she’s lost her mind, and they proceed to have an entire conversation by means of eyebrow.
Emily looks from one to the other.
“You guys ok?”
They’re being strange. Strange is not a good sign. It’s hard to care as much as she should, though, because Paige is walking towards them and she’s wearing a vest and her hair is down and her eyes are nowhere but Emily. Emily watches, attraction sparking through her.
(It’s lovely, watching and wanting again.)
“Em?” Aria says, and Emily snaps back to the conversation. “We’re gonna take off. Hanna and I have to finish a project and we need Spencer’s help.”
“Because she’s smart,” Hanna adds, like this is a new discovery. They all scurry away, though not before she hears Hanna whisper-shout don’t you check your phone.
Then Paige is standing there, and her friends’ weirdness slides out of focus.
“Hey,” Paige says. “Did I run them off?”
Emily shakes her head.
“They’re just being insane today.” Paige’s fingers fiddle with her belt loops, and Emily flashes back to the way they feel on her skin. “How’re you doing?”
Paige blows out a breath.
“I can’t even describe it.”
“I couldn’t wait to see you this morning,” Emily says, taking a step closer. Just one step, because public-ness is not a thing they’ve discussed and Paige is the one who has to set the boundaries. She may be out now but there’s a difference between people knowing you like girls and claiming a girl as yours before the entire school.
Paige takes her own step, though, past the border of platonic friend territory. It seems like slow motion as she raises a hand to Emily’s face, her touch soft and tentative. She kisses Emily, there in the courtyard in front of school. It’s gentle and sweet, over in seconds, but Emily thinks she’s never received a kiss so consequential. Pride swells in her - this is not the same girl who tried to hide her, who sequestered her feelings to locked bedrooms and deserted clearings.
“I’m sorry if that was out of line,” Paige says when they break apart. “I just -”
“No,” Emily interrupts. “That was perfect.”
Paige ducks her head, but not before Emily can see what this means to her. It’s there to be read in every part of her, really, in her hands and her lips and the set of her shoulders. It’s one of Emily’s favorite things about Paige, how she wears everything so openly, how emotion colors her entire body.
(This is what it says now: I want to tell the whole world how happy you make me and I’m so, so sorry I haven’t always.)
A bell rings in the distance.
“We should probably get to class,” Emily says.
“Can I walk you?”
And Paige’s voice is hesitant, like she still can’t quite believe this is real.
“You better. It’s your duty, as my girlfriend.”
Emily takes Paige’s hand, tugging her toward the classroom building.
In that moment, nothing is wrong. Whatever happens, no one can take this from her - the feeling of Paige squeezing her fingers, smile so bright it shames the sun.