Will a Man Cry !
What should I do ?
If I cry , what will all these people think ....??
"Penkonthan .."
"Ayyey , ingorkku enthu vattu indo ? "
"Ingeru Pillerekkalum Kashtam Aaayllyo ????? "
We lived together for 41 long years ....Loneliness staring at me for rest of mylife is more haunting than taking her through the last years of Cancer ..We lived a Roller coaster life ....I abused her , chided her , called her names ,there were times when things really got out of control and I hit her....But we just put all those behind us ... Same way a child puts behind parent's chiding as she grows up....People around us got accostummed to us as a unit ...One functioning family...Now that one piece is gone , is individual as good as the sum ? Will I get called for all those functions and festivities , which she adored...even during her dying years .....
If I cry will people think ,that I lost everything ....Will they brand me as a quitter ......!!!!
I worked to save enough for survival of two ...When my parents taught me the basics of life , they missed the chapter named inflation...Now that I spent my life's savings fighting her cancer, do I start working again ...?? I guess tyre company needs a security guard ...Night Shift can be gruelling, but do I have a choice ? Will my only son who is struggling to stand on his feet , lent a helping hand...
If I cry will people think I'm weak ? Will my image of a tough EX-Militttarrry man take a beating ?
We started living our life after 60.Sarasu and Sindu got married off, and Sudhakarn got his job at Theepetti Company ....It was almost picture perfect ..Sudhakaran's wedding coincided with we moving into our new house...My work in Town was enough to bring home a decent living for 2. She had tears in her eyes when I brought home our first Gas Stove.....She made Payasam for the entire neighbourhood that day...She never got used to the idea that a Mixer is an ideal replacement for an Ammikallu...Together we watched every one of those 6:30 to 10:00 weepy episodes of Stree,Yet another Stree and so on and so forth...She was there at the door every day,waiting for me, with a cribb or a news of the neighbourhood .....Even the day before she was admitted to the Hosital, never to come
home to talk to me....
If I cry , will it become talk of town ...."Meesha Shekharan Pennungaley Mathri Karajootoo " ....
Who will cook that special Chutta Mulaku Aracha Vala Kari for me ? Even when she was undergoing "Light " therapy at Trichur , she ensured that I ate 3squre meals...She knew me better than I knew myself ....
If I cry who will console Sarasu , Sindhu and Sudhakaran ?
:-As expressed to me by Shekharan...Ex Airman,Ex Town Peedika Employee,right beside his wife's dead body ....
If I cry , what will all these people think ....??
"Penkonthan .."
"Ayyey , ingorkku enthu vattu indo ? "
"Ingeru Pillerekkalum Kashtam Aaayllyo ????? "
We lived together for 41 long years ....Loneliness staring at me for rest of mylife is more haunting than taking her through the last years of Cancer ..We lived a Roller coaster life ....I abused her , chided her , called her names ,there were times when things really got out of control and I hit her....But we just put all those behind us ... Same way a child puts behind parent's chiding as she grows up....People around us got accostummed to us as a unit ...One functioning family...Now that one piece is gone , is individual as good as the sum ? Will I get called for all those functions and festivities , which she adored...even during her dying years .....
If I cry will people think ,that I lost everything ....Will they brand me as a quitter ......!!!!
I worked to save enough for survival of two ...When my parents taught me the basics of life , they missed the chapter named inflation...Now that I spent my life's savings fighting her cancer, do I start working again ...?? I guess tyre company needs a security guard ...Night Shift can be gruelling, but do I have a choice ? Will my only son who is struggling to stand on his feet , lent a helping hand...
If I cry will people think I'm weak ? Will my image of a tough EX-Militttarrry man take a beating ?
We started living our life after 60.Sarasu and Sindu got married off, and Sudhakarn got his job at Theepetti Company ....It was almost picture perfect ..Sudhakaran's wedding coincided with we moving into our new house...My work in Town was enough to bring home a decent living for 2. She had tears in her eyes when I brought home our first Gas Stove.....She made Payasam for the entire neighbourhood that day...She never got used to the idea that a Mixer is an ideal replacement for an Ammikallu...Together we watched every one of those 6:30 to 10:00 weepy episodes of Stree,Yet another Stree and so on and so forth...She was there at the door every day,waiting for me, with a cribb or a news of the neighbourhood .....Even the day before she was admitted to the Hosital, never to come
home to talk to me....
If I cry , will it become talk of town ...."Meesha Shekharan Pennungaley Mathri Karajootoo " ....
Who will cook that special Chutta Mulaku Aracha Vala Kari for me ? Even when she was undergoing "Light " therapy at Trichur , she ensured that I ate 3squre meals...She knew me better than I knew myself ....
If I cry who will console Sarasu , Sindhu and Sudhakaran ?
:-As expressed to me by Shekharan...Ex Airman,Ex Town Peedika Employee,right beside his wife's dead body ....